He Was Already Hers
by Kangaruby
Summary: Takes place around season three. Beckett is still dating Josh, much to Castle's disappointment. Castle has realized he wants to be in a relationship with Beckett.
1. Reminisce a Night of Bliss

_This is set sometime in the horrible episodes filled with Josh (never liked him). The story may not align perfectly with the series but I did my best to keep things accurate, with my own spin of course._

**_I do not own any part of Castle, yet again showing my lack of skills choosing stock and not getting the idea before Mr. Marlowe._**

* * *

As Castle watched doctor motorcycle boy and Beckett walk off towards the metaphorical sunset (in actuality it was the elevator in the precinct), he couldn't help but stare and reminisce.

He remembered not long ago, walking arm and arm with Beckett. Sure, he covered up his sincerity with a joke and a smile so Beckett would not be afraid to play along, but deep down he knew she enjoyed it at least as much as him. He knew she felt something towards him.

He had put his arm out in an attempt for her to link their arms together as they began walking towards that same elevator. He can't help but think she looked happier walking with him compared to with Josh. Castle escorted her to Remy's, their favorite burger and shake joint, a place he is sure, Josh doesn't know about and Beckett would probably never share it with him.

After Beckett made a comment on how he would dip the occasional fry into his chocolate shake, he had convinced her to do the same. He remembers her reluctance and then the surprised smile on her face when she let out a tiny laugh and told him it actually tasted good. They never said it was a date, just dinner between two people who need to eat who happen to enjoy each other's company. And that wasn't the only time they shared an evening meal together.

About a month ago, he dropped by at Beckett's apartment. He hadn't planned on stopping by so when he did, Beckett was surprised, to say the least. He knew it was one of her dark days. She had them time to time. Days where no matter what she did she could feel the weight of her mother's case on her shoulders.

He had told her more than once, on the better days, that he didn't mind in lightening the load. She would always shrug it off and switch the subject back to the current case, suggesting that she didn't want to discuss the matter. He always respected her wishes. Castle would never tell her this, not wanting to add to her worries, but he still felt it was his fault for reopening her mother's case to begin with. But he wasn't standing at her door to make himself feel better or to remove the weight he felt on his chest when he thought he was the source of even an ounce of her pain.

So when he knocked on her door it wasn't out of guilt. He wasn't there because he felt her sorrow was his fault. He was there because she was sad, and if she was sad, then he was too. Her sadness was his. So when she opened the door he knew she was hurting, and he just hoped she would let him in. Into her apartment and maybe into her heart.

* * *

Castle heard the door click and open with ease. As the door opened he heard Kate speak.

"Castle? What are you doing here?"

Though she tried to sound normal he could tell she had been crying and probably only recently had stopped. Probably to open the door.

"I thought you were the delivery guy".

Castle thought of starting with something sincere but he wanted to make it inside and get her guard down a little so she wouldn't just send him home.

"Nope, not the delivery guy, but if it upsets you that much I can come back with some food".

Not a great line by any means but her slightly hidden smile was convincing otherwise.

"Come on in Castle, I ordered enough for two, that is, if you haven't eaten of course".

He gave her a small half sided smile and replied,  
"I could eat".

So they waited for the food and made small talk. Castle knew better than to just blurt out the deep stuff. He didn't want to get interrupted. They always got interrupted. So after the delivery guy came and dropped off the Chinese food and they were getting to the fortune cookies, he decided to get on with it.

"You're probably wondering why I stopped by tonight. I know I don't usually come around".

"I may be a little curious".

"I noticed you today. You try to hide it well, and for the most part you do. No one else knows when you are upset with your mother's case, but I do".

"I don't know what you're..."

"Kate you don't have to lie. I know you weren't crying because you stubbed your toe coming to answer door or that your eyes were just watering because of an eyelash. I know you better than that. I'm you're partner. That means something to me. Doesn't it to you"?

"Castle we make a good team but that doesn't mean you need to come to my side when I'm sad or upset. I'm a big girl Castle, I can take care of myself".

"I know I don't have to Kate. You know me, if I had to I probably wouldn't do it. I didn't stop by because we're partners. I came by because when you're in pain, I want to be the one to make it subside. When you're hurt, I want to be the person you look to. Jesus Kate, I like you and for a while now I know you've liked me. So if you don't mind, even if it's just for tonight, I want to be there for you. Tomorrow we can go back to being just partners, but right now, I don't want you to be alone. I've told you before that you don't need to have all that weight on your shoulders. Please, I'm begging you, let me carry it for a while".

She was looking at him with tears in her eyes, and in between breaths she whispered,

"Okay".

He wasn't sure how long they laid there but he wished it would have been forever. She had let him hold her while she pressed into his side. She let him wrap his arms around her and clasp them at the front of her waist. Laying on the couch he could tell his back would be sore for the next few days. He didn't care. Beckett was comfortable and he had never seen her so relaxed. Then all too quickly, he started to see the sun peeking through the shades of the window, signifying the end of his night of bliss.

* * *

She taken him up on the one night offer and then they went separate ways. As Castle started to turn away and slowly leave her gaze, his head and heart went heavy. Leaving is the hardest part. While his eyes met her's one last time, he knew she felt it too.

He loved her. He hadn't admitted it to himself, but he did. He didn't have to rationalize it with his brain. Love is not something he has to think about. He feels it. Every time he hands her a coffee and their hands 'accidentally' brush together. Every time he sees her face, he feels his insides soar and he has to catch himself from smiling that full ear to ear smile. Has to break away from looking at her because he knows someone is going to catch him trying to memorize every inch of her face. How her lips tighten together slightly when she is reading a report. How her brow furrows when she stares at the murder board trying to find the missing piece that links everything together.

She didn't know it. Didn't know he loved her. She may have thought it once or twice but he never told her the truth. He never told her that each night they parted ways his heart ached for closeness. Or that when he sees her his heart skips a beat and he can barely catch his breath. She's the first and last person he thinks of before he goes to sleep.

Beckett and him don't talk about any of it. He hasn't had the guts to tell her how it feels to see her with someone else. How when he turns a corner in the precinct seeing her laughing with Josh as she grabs her coat to leave he deflates. His insides twist and he feels like he's been kicked in the stomach. How he has to stop himself from punching a wall, or doctor motorcycle boy in the face. How he strains to try and tell himself she is not his. She never was and it would be rude to pretend she was.

But she was his that night. She let him hold her and keep her warm. And she didn't seem to mind. Maybe she could be his again.

It couldn't be that hard. He was already hers.

* * *

Castle heard the ding of the elevator and snapped out of the memory-filled daydream. As he watched the doors close, he let his eyes take her in until she disappeared. Then without a second thought, he decided enough was enough, and headed for the stairs. He didn't care that Ryan and Esposito were watching him as he ran.

He flew down the first flight of stairs, hoping to beat her and Josh to the landing. He needed to let her know that their lives were meant to be shared with each other. He skipped the last two steps of the stairs and ran through the hallway slowing to a stop next to the elevator, and he waited for the ding.

* * *

_Depending on the reviews maybe to be continued..._

_Alright so this is my first fanfic and I'm not too sure about it. Please leave some feedback, good or bad. Try not to tear me down too much..._


	2. Dancing Around the Truth

_So here is chapter two._

_Some parts may not go exactly with the shows timeline, in this story Castle already owns The Old Haunt._

_Not exactly how I thought the chapter would pan out but once I got the idea I ran with it. Well I wrote it, I hate running._

**I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Castle stood close by the elevator trying to catch his breath. He wasn't out of breath from the run per say, he was more out of breath because the thought of telling Beckett how he felt made it hard for him to remember to breathe, let alone stand.

He watched the numbers above the elevator get smaller, while he counted down with them. As the lift reached the main floor he started towards the door. But what he saw when it opened made his feet stop in their tracks. He couldn't believe it.

It was empty.

* * *

He stood there dumbfounded. How could he have missed them? He has taken that same trip in that same elevator so many times and it always ran slow. Half the time it runs so slow he practices evacuation maneuvers in his head in case it breaks down. Which really makes him wonder why he doesn't always just take the stairs. But he knows why. Because some of the times, Beckett and him ride in the elevator together. And maybe a small part of him wouldn't mind getting stuck in a room with her for a little while. That is, if the elevator ever was to break down. Regardless of it all, it seemed fitting that yet again another piece of the universe was trying to keep him from her.

He didn't give up there. Instead, he turned on the back of his shoes and made a sprint for the door. Maybe if they weren't too far away he could catch up to them, if they were walking. The whole thing would be hopeless if they had got in a cab.

He opened the precinct's door to the outside world and scanned the street for her.

He spotted Beckett and Josh walking at a steady pace reaching the end of the block, waiting for the little stick man to blink walk. They were still holding hands. He watched as she took her free hand and placed it onto Josh's chest as she threw her head back slightly in a laugh. That was enough. Whatever bravery or strength he worked up to get this far dissipated. She looked happy. Even though it wasn't from his own doings he couldn't deny what he saw.

It killed him to stand there and watch but he hadn't the energy to tear his eyes off them. He watched them until that stick man started to flash. He turned to sulk back into the safety of the precinct. He wasn't going to stay much longer. He was just going to grab his jacket, say bye to Ryan and Esposito and go. He had only gone a few steps towards the precinct, eyes focusing back on her again just one last quick glance because he couldn't help it, when she glanced behind her.

Shit. She saw him.

Even though she was too far away to make out any facial features he knew what her face was asking. He didn't have to see her anymore to know her expressions. This one she was giving him now was most likely something in between confusion and curiosity.

He just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. She knew him. She knew what that meant. It meant I'll tell you later, it's not important. Well, she got the first half of that right.

She turned to face forward once more and kept walking, arm in arm and step by step with Josh.

* * *

He was reaching to press the up button on this ridiculous elevator when, once again, its doors opened. This time it wasn't empty. He wished it was. Castle wanted nothing more than to be able to get his jacket and hightail it to the loft. It was Esposito and Ryan.

It was Ryan who spoke first.

"Hey Castle, what had you running out of here like it was on fire?"

"Yeah, what's your hurry?"

He didn't want Ryan or Esposito to know the truth so he made up a half-assed lie.

"I wanted to catch Beckett and try to persuade her to let me take some copies of the crime scene pictures home. It was a pretty gory one and thought I could use it for inspiration for the crime scene in an upcoming book."

Esposito and Ryan turned gave each other their famous we aren't buying it uh huh looks. To be fair he wasn't surprised. The victim wasn't stabbed or shot or anything close to be considered gory. Someone had poisoned the victim by swapping out pills in their medicine cabinet and replacing placebo pills for the real thing. Castle tried to defend the lie anyway. He was a fiction writer, lying was supposed to be easy.

"It's true. I figured with her thinking about her date I could get her off guard and she would agree easier."

Esposito was the one to talk.

"And how did that work out for you man?"

"I didn't catch them in time. They were already too far ahead."

Ryan may be slightly more clueless than usual because he couldn't think of much besides Jenny these days. But Esposito knew he was lying. He had a good idea what Castle had attempted to do. He felt bad for him. Esposito had noticed how Castle got when he saw Josh around. He knew Castle liked Beckett.

Beckett was like a sister to him but Castle was starting to feel like a brother. And he had to admit, if Beckett even had the slightest idea of how Castle feels, she shouldn't be parading guys around in front of him. Esposito played dumb and let the charade continue for Castle's sake.

"Oh well, maybe you can talk to her about it tomorrow. Hey, Ryan and I were going to go for a drink at the Old Haunt, want to come and buy us a round? For real man, want to come with?"

It sounded like a genuine offer. Esposito was just trying to include him and Castle figured Esposito was also trying to get Castle to lighten up. He just didn't feel like pretending nothing was bothering him. He wanted to go home and shut the door to his office so he could write. Well, sit in front of a blank screen while he procrastinated.

"Thanks for the offer guys but I should really get some writing done. Gina has been nagging me to finish the next few chapters and send them to her."

"Alright Castle, but if you change your mind you know where to find us and buy us a beer or two."

Castle nodded when Ryan said see you later and as he entered the elevator he replied over his shoulder,

"Pretty sure if you asked the owner he would let you guys get a beer free of charge. Night guys."

* * *

Castle returned to his loft and set his keys on the table. He wouldn't be going anywhere else tonight. He was going to go into his office when his mother started to speak.

"Well you sure look like you've had better day's kiddo. You and that Detective of yours not getting along?"

"She's not my Detective mother, and no it's not that. We are getting along fine."

"Well then what's the problem?"

"That is the problem. We're getting along just fine. Or she thinks so."

"Well you may not want to hear this from your mother but I think you should just kiss her while you're both still young."

Castle just rolled his eyes. She was always saying things like that. It didn't matter the situation between him and Beckett, or any other girl. He knew she just wanted him to be happy.

"She has a boyfriend. I was going to try to talk to her today but then she looked so happy with him, I didn't want to get in the way."

"Well darling, I know whom you love isn't a matter of who had her first but honestly, Richard. If you feel this way about her then there is a good chance she may feel the same way. And you know if you were getting in the way, Detective Beckett would be the first to call you out on it."

"If she felt the same way then she wouldn't be going around dating other people."

"But you hiding your true feelings from her won't help your situation any either."

"It doesn't matter what I feel. I'm not going to be the one to make a move this time. I already tried that and I ended up here."

"If you think dancing around the truth and your feelings is the way to get results I won't deny you your logic. But know when that doesn't work, it's because this isn't a dancing studio."

"I'll remember that mother, thanks for the input, and your theatrics with metaphors."

"Any time dear. Now, I'm going out. Don't wait up, mother's on the prowl."

* * *

He sat in his office and tried to write; no words came to mind. Well, no words to help him with the latest Nikki heat chapter.

He couldn't help but think that Beckett should have known he wanted to talk. For a detective she wasn't being too observant. I mean, he only made it out of the precinct a little bit after her and Josh. And she knew he wasn't leaving when they were. Either she really was off duty or she wanted to ignore her tingling detective senses. The more he thought the more he started to believe the latter.

* * *

_No idea how long this story will continue but it's definitely not over yet. If you didn't care for the lack of Castle/Beckett confrontation just wait it out, it's coming. I can only type so fast._

_Please feel free to write a review, I appreciate the feedback._


	3. The Last Coffee

_Chapter three to He Was Already Hers._

_Once again I regret to inform that I do not own Castle._

* * *

He had sat in his desk chair for majority of the night thinking about his relationship with Beckett. He had a decision to make. It was no secret to anyone that Castle had done more than enough research shadowing Beckett than he needed to write a whole stack of books.

There would always be more to learn about how things are actually done in law enforcement compared to the miniscule factual information he incorporates into his writing. And if he was being honest with himself, Castle was no longer shadowing Beckett or consulting with the NYPD to learn more or to enhance the realness to his books.

Before he started shadowing Beckett, he had no trouble using the library to help him know everything he could about the proceedings of the law. Even the occasional run-ins he had with law enforcement when he was a little more care-free had helped.

He stayed to learn more about Detective Beckett. He stayed because he liked being there and up until now he always thought they liked having him there. Well, at least that Beckett liked having him around. And as much as he enjoyed being in the company of Beckett, he just couldn't do it anymore.

He was sick of pretending. She meant more to him than he would probably ever mean to her. And he realized it wasn't enough. After more than two years of knowing each other it was as if Beckett hardly knew him at all. Even Esposito and Ryan could tell how he felt about her to an extent. It wasn't much of a secret.

So he figured he should end things before they had the chance to worsen. It took him until the sun started to shine through the blinds of his windows for him to make a decision.

This was going to be his last case.

* * *

He woke up the next morning feeling oddly refreshed even though he'd only had a few hours of sleep. He was going to make the most of his last case with the team. He got ready as per usual and wore his favorite navy blue button-down shirt with a black blazer and a pair of black slacks. Since it was his last case he even wore his favorite t-shirt underneath, his Green Lantern superhero t-shirt. They were fighting crime after all so he might as well dress the part.

Castle left the loft and took a cab to a coffee shop, last case or not he still needed the caffeine. He ordered his usual and decided to walk the rest of the way to the twelfth.

It felt a little strange having one of his hands free to check his phone as he waited for the elevator to reach the first floor of the lobby. Not bringing Beckett a coffee was his subtle way of hinting at his decision to conclude his shadowing of the NYPD, well, following Beckett around.

And maybe he was being a little petty but if Beckett had a boyfriend or was even just dating, she never actually told Castle which, then it really shouldn't be his job to make sure she stayed fully hydrated.

* * *

He stepped off the elevator into the twelfth precinct and made his way to his chair. As he walked up he saw Detective Beckett sitting at her desk looking over the latest case file. He offered a good morning and sat down, he wasn't going to be overly friendly but there was no need to leave things less than amicable between them, if he could control his feelings.

"Morning Detective Beckett, catch any bad guys in your sleep?"

She had heard the distinctive shuffle of his feet and knew Castle and her much needed coffee was nearing her desk. At the sound of his voice she finished reading the last sentence she was on and looked up.

When she realized he only had one coffee, a look of confusion and maybe even disappointment crossed her face. It wasn't that she expected a coffee from him every time he showed up at the precinct. It wasn't really the coffee at all. It was the meaning behind the coffee.

Neither she nor Castle ever vocalized what the coffee signified but it was more than a dose of caffeine. It was their hello, it was their handshake, it was their 'everything's okay', it was their silent dance of 'I like you'. It was more than a drink. It was one thing if Castle didn't bring coffee at all, but it was something entirely different if he decided to not get her one.

It was weird. And it told her something isn't okay. Beckett wiped the confused look on her face off quicker than it had appeared. She didn't want to read too much into this. She had known he wanted to talk to her, she got that much from his unexpected appearance outside of the precinct last night when she was leaving with Josh. But from what she could tell by the shrug of his shoulders he felt it could wait and that it wasn't too important.

Maybe he just forgot her coffee.

"No Castle, believe it or not, when I'm off the clock I do actually do other things than 'catch bad guys'."

Castle had to practically bite his tongue to keep himself from saying something stupid. He was trying to hide it but the anger and hurt he had was demanding to be felt. Hopefully they could just stick to talking about the case and his last case wouldn't be overshadowed by his feelings about Beckett.

"Huh, I thought you had said something before about a cop never really being off duty. But that was probably when I first started shadowing you."

"What are you trying to say Castle? That I'm different than who I was a couple years ago?"

"No, you're not really different." He wanted to add that she is still distant and hides her feelings by surrounding herself with work and dating people she doesn't see herself having a future with. But instead he just added,

"If anything maybe you're more. When I first met you I didn't take you as the kind of person to go out for a beer or do anything but work. Either I've had some kind effect on you or I still don't know you at all."

The last part of his words came about a bit sharper than he intended but he couldn't help it. Now that it crossed his mind, Castle was wondering how much he really knew Beckett.

Something was definitely up with Castle and she wanted to know what. She would make a point to talk to him later. Maybe when he finished his coffee she would offer to make him one. She of course would need his help because although she was capable of doing almost everything she set her mind to, that stupid coffee machine always gave her trouble. And asking him to help her with it would be a way to get him to follow her into the break room so they wouldn't have an audience. Right now they should really focus on the case, so she gave Castle an honest answer with a helping of satire.

Beckett had noticed Castle take out his phone and figured he was going to start yet another game he found on the app store.

"Who knows Castle maybe you have had some kind of effect on me but none of them are in reference to work ethic so maybe we should crack this case and not procrastinate by playing angry birds."

She gave Castle a quick smile and he returned the sentiment, his smiling forming a bit wider than hers.

"Actually Detective Beckett, though past experiences may make you conclude that I was playing yet another awesomely addicting game, I was actually looking up something pertaining to the case we are working."

"Somehow I find that hard to believe."

Just to make no mistake that Castle was actually looking up the victim's name on Google, because he did in fact recognize her face from some ad or commercial, he handed his phone to Beckett so he would have an excuse to gloat.

While waiting for Beckett to make the connection between the victim and what he found to be an ad on the side of some bus, he mentioned,

"Just so you know, I respond best to apologies when they come in the form of one of the three c's. The c's being candy, chocolate, or coffee if you were wondering."

"I'd apologize for my assumption but I figure we can just let it slide seeing how every other time I have been right."

"Fine, I'll let it slide this time but that means if there's a next time I expect a king size candy bar. And you can't get them from the vending machine in the break room, I've looked."

"I'm okay with that."

* * *

With that they went back to working on the case and Beckett had Ryan use his technology skills to find out more about why their victim was on some bus ad. At this point it was still their only lead and it was already nearing one o'clock.

Beckett decided now would be as good time as any to ask Castle what was going on.

She stood up from her chair and motioned for Castle to follow as she said over her shoulder,

"Hey Castle, how about you help me figure that impossible coffee machine in the break room? As much as I pretend not to mind the ordinary precinct coffee which you consider sludge, I think I may enjoy knowing how to make myself a coffee without burning my fingers on scalding milk."

"Yeah sure, anything to give me a break from staring at the murder board while pretending to be reading it."

* * *

He entered the break room and Beckett was already getting everything she needed to make the coffee.

"Hey Beckett, how about you watch me make one and then you can try. What better way to learn than from the master?"

Beckett gave him a slight tilt of her head and a quick eye roll. It would have been a more convincing look of annoyance if her lips hadn't betrayed her and started forming a slight smile.

She was watching Castle as he started to steam the milk for his coffee and decided to break the silence.

"Hey Castle what was it you wanted to talk about yesterday? I saw you outside the precinct and I know that you had mentioned staying a bit longer with the boys. And then I saw you shrug your shoulders like whatever it was could wait."

"It was nothing really. I didn't think you would be that far away by the time I reached the lobby and then I just had just figured I would talk to you later."

"About what?"

Castle knew yesterday he hadn't a care in the world about confronting her about their relationship while at the precinct but it was different now. Now that he saw how happy she looked with Josh he didn't want to overstep, even though he felt that's what motorcycle boy was doing to him.

Instead of professing how he felt about her and ruining things before this last case was over, he decided to just tell her about him leaving.

"I was just going to tell you that I think it would be best if this was my last case. It's been great getting to come here so often and be part of the investigations but I think I've gotten all that I can. So whenever this case wraps up I guess I will be saying my goodbyes. So, in a way, I guess it's a good thing I'm finally showing you how to make your own coffee."

* * *

Beckett wanted to say something. Anything really. Maybe something to make him change his mind. He had been shadowing her for over two years and she was used to him. Used to him cracking jokes and used to his insane theories. But no words came to mind. Nothing that she thought would help anyway.

Beckett wasn't great with expressing her feelings. He was the bestselling author, and he just used his words to reject her. Maybe not directly, but the way he spoke made it seem that when he left the world of the twelfth that he was also leaving hers. The world he somehow weaseled himself into. The world he made brighter with his presence. Instead of questioning his judgment she said the only thing that came to mind.

"Alright, if that's what you think is for the best."

"I do, there isn't really a reason for me to stay any longer."

His hopes weren't up very high but he still wished she would have challenged him on that. That maybe she would see he wanted to know if she wanted him to stay. But she didn't say anything else.

* * *

Castle had finished making his coffee a while ago and had been holding it in his hand while they finished their talk. He didn't intend on drinking the coffee. Instead he reached his arm out halfway and waited for her to meet him the other half of the way. The last coffee.

"Here, you might as well just have my coffee. I'll go pick up some lunch from Remy's and bring it back for everyone. Not sure how long it will take to wrap up the case so I might as well get lunch as a thanks for everyone's hospitality."

She reached out and took the coffee knowing it could very well be the last one.

Castle turned and walked out of the break room.

She followed him out of the break room and started to the direction of her desk. She was about there when she stopped.

This time instead of Castle watching Beckett leave, Beckett watched as Castle walked away.

* * *

_Reviews are encouraged._

_To Be Continued…_


	4. Overstepping

_Chapter four of He Was Already Hers_

_As a side note, I just want to say that although Ryan isn't really in this story a lot I do like him. In many ways I think he's the only reason they ever close a case. Everyone's all busy with relationships and Ryan already has Jenny and he just rocks the technology stuff. If they didn't just throw in things like 'oh, Ryan's looking at video footage', people would be like, 'is anybody doing things case related or is this just The Newlywed Game, I don't know'. But hey I seem to be doing that too so… Thanks Ryan. :)_

**_I do not own Castle. I know, I'm shocked too. _**Any similarities to conversations that occur in the actual show I am not taking full credit for. The dialogue is my own, unless it is the same as something directly from the show.

* * *

The elevator doors slid to a close and the little thump they made in doing so caused Beckett to stop what she was doing and resume looking at the case file. She had been watching Castle leave until the doors had taken him out of view.

Contrary to Castle's belief, Beckett wasn't the only Detective in the precinct. Yeah he knows the precinct is full of them but seeing how he only really ever focused on one detective in particular, it would make people think differently.

Since Beckett is indeed, not the only detective in the twelfth, it's not hard to believe that Esposito had picked up on the demeanor of both Castle and Beckett. And remembering Castle and his lie from yesterday makes him think that maybe Castle finally said what was on his mind. In any case, Esposito wanted to know more, so he headed over towards Beckett.

* * *

"Yo Beckett, where did Castle wander off to. Only asking 'cause it was your turn to watch him and if you let him off the leash again I'm not gonna help you find him."

Castle had been coming to the precinct for over two years now and he was always okay with the jokes or comments Esposito and Ryan spouted off on occasion. Most of the time he would even join in.

Beckett never seemed to mind either but in the past couple of months some of the comments had started to get a little old. By now everyone knew he was more than a consultant for cases. In some ways he started to seem like a partner to her. He was becoming someone she actually liked to think over the cases with, crazy conspiracy theories and all. Just to indulge the guys she would let the hazing go on for a few jabs but then subtly make them ease off. Esposito and Ryan had caught on fairly early and now would drop it after they had their one shot at the writer. As much fun as it had been to hound the new guy, he wasn't really the new guy anymore, he was their friend.

"Oh relax Esposito he just went to find lunch and bring back today's the paper."

"So he didn't just leave for today?"

"No he's coming back, why would you think any different?"

Esposito wasn't going to just rat Castle out about him liking Beckett. Esposito had a pretty good feeling that Castle had wanted to tell Beckett how he really felt about her but he wasn't going to bring it up if he didn't have to. He wanted to see what Beckett knew first and with Castle out getting lunch this was the perfect opportunity to do just that.

"I just saw you guys talking in the break room and thought maybe he told you what he was going to tell you yesterday but he didn't get a chance to."

"So you knew before I did and you didn't tell me?"

"Knew what exactly?"

"That this was going to be Castle's last case with the NYPD."

* * *

Normally Ryan is the guy who's all into the gossip and isn't able to keep a secret but even some gossip is too good for Esposito to keep his mouth shut. Plus Ryan was busy being the king of technology or something so he wasn't going to be helpful except for maybe solving the case. He wouldn't just going to spout off everything he thinks he knows about Castle's feelings. Oh no. That wasn't his job. That was for Castle to disclose or Beckett to realize, but, Esposito had no trouble getting out the poker stick and moving around the logs in the fire.

"No he never mentioned it but I'm not really too surprised about it Beckett."

Beckett knew Esposito was trying to hint at something or he somehow knew something he didn't want to say. She was used to people trying to talk around the truth and her job was to get them to confess. This wasn't going to be too hard.

"I didn't see it coming so why is it that you aren't surprised by it?"

"I don't know, he's just been a bit off lately, not himself. Like something had been bothering him, maybe the cases just aren't exciting enough for him anymore."

He can't believe that she hasn't put two and two together. Castle acting differently and saying this is his last case. Him running out of the precinct to tell her something when she's leaving with Josh. Maybe he will have to be a little less subtle.

"Yeah but normally when the case is boring he has no problem complaining about it and then making up his theatrical stories about aliens or ninjas or aliens disguised as ninjas."

"Well that goes without saying but I still think there's more to it than the cases being boring."

"The only explanation he gave for leaving was that it didn't feel like there was anything left for him to learn or get from consulting anymore."

Poking the fire with a stick wasn't really helping Beckett see things so Esposito decided for a more foolproof tactic. In Esposito's experience, nothing works better than throwing some gasoline on the fire.

"That's definitely not why he's leaving, that may have been a good reason to stop consulting a little over a year ago, but not anymore."

Beckett wasn't sure exactly where Esposito was going with this but she pushed ahead anyway.

"Why would you say that Espo?"

"Come on Beckett, on some psychological level you have to know why. In his first year here he had done enough research to write probably fifty crime novels, and yet, he's still here. It hasn't been about researching for his novels. He wrote good enough crime novels before he started shadowing at the twelfth. He didn't need to be here anymore than we needed him to be here. And he came everyday there was a body drop for over two years."

Esposito waited for what he said to sink in. He had a little more he wanted to tell her and he wanted her caught up before he continued.

"And I don't know if you've noticed but he only started to act differently ever since Josh showed up at the precinct a while back. I'm not saying that you shouldn't go out with Josh to spare Castle's feelings or whatever. I'm not sure how Castle feels about you, it's not like I've asked but I can see it. And I'm not the one he's been bringing a coffee to for the last two years. You're like a sister to me Beckett and I mean that, but Castle has become like a brother to me too. And I think out of respect for the guy who's been your partner for the last two years that maybe the next time Josh is picking you up for a date he waits in the lobby. You might think I'm overstepping and I probably am but I'm not saying anything that you don't already know."

* * *

Beckett really wants to feel some kind of anger towards Esposito for calling her out like she did something completely wrong but she can't. Because everything he said seems to make sense and she knows that Esposito is really only looking out for her. He's not telling her what to do and he isn't really trying to lecture her. If anything, she's mad that she is a detective and she didn't even notice what was going on right in front of her.

She hadn't intended for Josh to show up at the precinct the first time he did or yesterday for that matter. He just did. She knew Josh was just being nice, picking her up for a date like most guys do, but Javi was right. And Javi had no idea about that night Castle showed up at her door.

He had been so sweet and she knew even though Castle said otherwise that he had wanted more. He wanted more than what she was willing to give. And since he himself said they could go back to what they were, she took him up on it. She probably shouldn't have but she isn't perfect and having someone there who can tell how you're feeling without having to say a word felt kind of nice.

But she liked Josh and the thought of being in a relationship with him didn't seem so impossible. She liked that she could tell him about her day and decide what to leave out. She sometimes liked that Josh had no idea about her mom's case.

The weight from her case didn't have to rest on Josh's shoulders and she wanted it that way. If she were in a relationship with Castle he would insist on lightening the load, like he did that night, and she couldn't let him. It wasn't fair to him. It wasn't his burden to bear.

Realizing she still hadn't responded to Esposito she concluded,

"You're right Esposito, you are overstepping… But isn't that kind of what brothers do?"

"Probably, but we would have to ask Ryan since he's the only one of us that is or has a brother."

Esposito was relieved that they were both detectives. Detectives seem to have their own way of conversing with each other. Basically, that they can say something as honest as they want and then be able to drop the subject just as quick or even use humor as a way of affection. Then again, maybe it was more the relationship he, Beckett, and Ryan shared than the fact that they were detectives.

* * *

Beckett and Esposito had just finished up their conversation when Ryan started to walk up to them.

"Hey guys I've been trying to dig up everything I can about the ad Castle saw on that bus with our vic and it turns out she was going to be the new face for some fashion designer. From what I read online on the designer's webpage our victim just seemed to rise right to the top only weeks after getting a menial job as an assistant. A lot of the other girls who were actually in some kind of, I guess they were calling it an in house competition, were pretty angry that she came out of nowhere and was handed the position."

"Ryan, did you happen to find out the address where we can talk to these girls who now miraculously have another shot at being the face of the company."

"Well yeah but I thought we could eat first. Oh and you may not want to mention shot and face together in the same sentence for this case. At least not right before lunch. You don't have to go back to the ME's office to see why do you?"

"No Ryan, seeing her mangled face once was enough, thank you. And we have to wait to leave anyway until Castle gets back. And lucky for you he went to go get lunch."

"I knew I liked writer boy for a reason."

Just as Ryan finished speaking Castle came walking towards them with LT in tow.

"What was that Honey-Milk? Did I hear you correct, did you just say you like me? I'm flattered really but what will Jenny think?"

Esposito and Beckett both tried to hide their smirks for Ryan's sake but when Ryan's own smile appeared on his face they couldn't help but laugh.

LT put the bags of food down on Beckett's desk and Castle set down the drinks.

"Thanks LT. Oh and here this bag is yours."

LT thanked Castle and went to go eat his lunch.

"So Castle what'cha bring for us to eat?"

"Well Ryan, seeing how I have told Beckett and Montgomery that this is my last case, I thought why not eat from my favorite place to get a burger."

"This is your last case?"

"Yeah but don't feel too bad Honey-Milk, you can always visit me at The Old Haunt and have a beer on the house."

"Well we will all have to take you up on that offer Castle, even if it was just meant for Ryan. Now don't tell me you went to Remy's and got us soda."

"Detective Beckett, what kind of savage do you think I am? I got us strawberry milkshakes. What else would I dip my fries in? It's not like I'm about to dip them in ketchup."

With that they all grabbed a bag and a drink and headed for the break room to eat.

"Hey Castle, after we finish eating we got a lead to work."

Castle was in the middle of dipping a fry in his milkshake when he answered Beckett.

"What? I'm gone for half an hour and you guys catch a break? Well I guess it's just as well, after having me around for so long you guys are going to have to learn how to cope without me."

Finishing his sentence, he took the fry dipped in strawberry goodness and brought it to his smirking mouth.

* * *

_Alright guys I turned out this chapter faster than I normally do to have something to tie you over until I finish this week of exams. I'll be pretty busy this week so I may not have time to update other stories if you are reading those in addition to this one._

_I'm sure there are a few grammatical errors but hopefully I will find time to correct them soon. If you think the mistakes drive you nuts multiply that by ten and that's how nuts it makes me feel when I find a mistake._

_Thanks for reading and as always, reviews are encouraged._

_To Be Continued…_


	5. Case Closed

_Chapter 4 or He Was Already Hers_

_Note that any mistakes in grammar will probably be fixed within the next couple days._

**_Disclaimer: _**_Still no._

* * *

Much to Castle's dismay the case wasn't really out of the ordinary. The killer ended up being a girl who would have been first in line to being the face of the company had the victim not gotten in the way. Instead of putting forth more hard work she took the easy way out. She put two rounds in the victim's face to kill the victim and the victim's looks. It hadn't taken much to make the killer confess. Some people, though they commit the vicious act, can't stand to see their handiwork once they've washed their hands. All Beckett had to do was toss a few pictures of the vic, taken at the crime scene, onto the table to make her confess.

Case closed.

Esposito and Ryan had the honor of escorting the killer out of interrogation and to holding where she would later be processed and taken to her knew living quarters.

Esposito couldn't help but make a remark about the girl they escorted away.

"You know I don't know if she is going to end up being angrier at the fact she was caught or that no one looks good in those orange jumpsuits."

Shortly after Esposito and Ryan left with the killer, Beckett started walking out of the interrogation room to return to her desk and finish the dreaded paperwork.

* * *

Beckett reached the threshold to the door when Castle began to speak.

"Hey Beckett, wait a second."

"Yeah Castle, what is it?"

"Well the case is over and I did say it was going to be my last one so I guess this is the end of my days consulting with you guys."

"Yeah I guess it is."

"Yeah well, I just wanted to say my goodbyes before Esposito and Ryan interrupt."

"Castle you're making it sound like we won't be seeing each again."

"We won't be. I'm not going to be shadowing here anymore so there won't be many instances we see each other, besides maybe the occasional drop in at _The Old Haunt_."

"I guess I didn't realize when you stopped consulting we would stop being friends."

"Were we ever really friends Beckett?"

"What do you mean 'were we ever really friends'? Of course we were, aren't we still?"

"I don't know what we were Beckett but it wasn't a friendship. Following you around to get insight for my books doesn't really strike me as a friendship. A friendship is when two people share similar interests, enjoy each other's company, and who spend time with each other. But the biggest part of a friendship is honesty and trust. In the beginning I thought we had a friendship. Hell sometimes it felt more like a partnership, but now… I know now it wasn't a friendship. I know there are things you haven't told me and, though I haven't tried to hide it, I've kept things from you too by not vocalizing them."

"Castle what are you talking about?"

"Look, it shouldn't come to a shock to you that I have feelings for you, though right now there are feelings of anger. I have waited years for you to see that I am more than a plucky sidekick. That I am more than the guy portrayed on my book jackets.

I've tried to show you that I want more.

I asked you to go to the Hamptons with me and you turned me down. And instead of feeling miserable the whole time I was there I had Gina come along so I would have to hide my rejection. I had her come along so she would force me to write. She was always more of a companion and a distraction than anything else, and I think she knew that too.

I decided that since you were with Demming it wouldn't matter if I went back with Gina. Gina and I knew it wouldn't last, we still had all the reasons it didn't work the first time. When I got home from the Hamptons you were mad at me and I knew it wasn't just because I didn't call. I didn't push you to tell me the real reason because I could tell you weren't going to. Although I have a pretty good feeling it had something to do with me being involved with someone else.

And if that isn't enough, just a couple months back I showed up at your door. I came over because I knew that day had been hard for you without even having to ask how you felt. I came to comfort you and show how I felt and you didn't need my words that night to hear my feelings.

When I could tell you were sad I became sad too. I don't know what that means but it has to mean something right?

I tell you to let me in and let me help you carry the weight on your shoulders because I want to. I told you that night by actions, knowing that with you actions speak just as loud as words. That's why I get up early on the days I come into the precinct. So I have time to go and get you a coffee. That coffee is more than our daily hello and you know it.

You've dragged me along for two years and I am done being pulled. I am not some puppet you can manipulate to do with what you want.

I know that night I told you it could be a onetime thing and things could go back to how they were and I meant it. I know now it was a onetime acceptance to my offer and things will go back to how they were.

I wish we could go back to how we were but we can't. I can make everything how it was before we met though. I'm done shadowing you. It's not my favorite way of staying true to my word but it's the one that makes the most sense. And I am a writer so being true to my word is important to me.

I'm choosing to leave because it's my turn to be selfish. I know leaving and not pretending everything is fine is the option that gives me the least amount of pain. I know that because if I stayed I would just get hurt again. Eventually I would feel how I felt when you were with Demming. I would feel how I feel now that you're with Josh. How my throat tightens and my heart seems to sink lower in my chest and I feel an alarming amount of dread when I see you walk away with him.

I want to stop debating whether to run to tell you how I feel only to deflate and walk away when I see you with someone else. I'm done pretending that somehow you would be better off with me since you don't see it that way.

I just want to stop feeling rejected by you. Even if you've never said it, you say it every day when you leave the precinct to meet up with Josh or he arrives here to pick you up.

I think it will be good for me to leave. It's not your fault that I have feelings for you and I can't keep imaging that you have some of the same feelings too. It's not fair to either one of us.

I want you to be happy Kate, I really do but I have to start being happy too.

So I have to leave here and not come back. I'm going to focus on finishing the Nikki Heat book I'm working on and then talk to them about shortening the series lifespan. Move on to something new. Maybe actually manage the bar I own, fix up the office so it's more to my liking. Maybe spend some time in the Hamptons with my family while the weather is still nice."

* * *

Beckett couldn't control how disappointed she looked nor the sadness in her eyes. She has a maybe boyfriend and he seems like a good choice for her. He understands working long hours and she likes that about him. She likes that Josh is many times too busy to ask her many questions about her day or her life. He's a nice placeholder in her life and he has the ability to make her happy.

She wasn't sad because she realized Castle was moving on from her, that's what she thought anyway. She was upset because she was losing the guy that had somehow become one of her best friends. She doesn't know how he took that place in her life but it must have happened when she wasn't looking because she seldom let people in and know the real Kate Beckett. She kept herself am arm's length away from people so they wouldn't be disappointed when she let them down and so she couldn't get hurt when they tired of her and left. People always seemed to leave and now Castle was among them.

She didn't really know what to say to him. Beckett knew his mind was made up and he was leaving so she said the first thing she thought about.

"You couldn't have waited until the end of the day to tell me all that?"

"What do you mean the end of the day, the case is over."

"Well since we found out it was your last case we decided to have a little going away party for you. Now not only are the boys and Lanie going to be mad at me for spoiling the surprise but you and I are going to have to sit in there with each other like we're 'friends.'"

"Well it shouldn't be too hard to pretend when we have been for two years."

"Yeah well I guess I didn't know our friendship was just another story of fiction to you Castle, I'll see you at your party."

With that Beckett walked out of the interrogation room and to her desk.

* * *

Esposito and Ryan were walking back from holding and saw Castle was getting ready to leave.

"Hey Castle where you going?"

"Relax Esposito, I'm just going to get myself a coffee and I'll be back to say my goodbyes."

"Wow Castle, your last case with us and you still won't help with the paperwork."

With that Ryan cut in and added,

"Yeah and you're the so called famous writer."

"Oh come on guys you know I write for fun not for torture.

See you guys in a bit."

"Yeah see you Castle."

Beckett heard the familiar noise of the elevator doors closing and couldn't force herself to look in its direction. She continued to do some of her paperwork for a few minutes before giving her eyes a break. When she looked away from the computer screen she found her eyes resting on the chair that sat to the right of her desk. Castle's chair. Well it seemed now, it was just a chair.

* * *

_Thanks everyone who has read, followed, or favorited this story. I appreciate every one of you, it's a lot more fun to write for an audience than just yourself._

_Let me know what you think about the chapter or story. _

_To Be Continued._


	6. Goodbye?

_Chapter six of He Was Already Hers_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own Castle._

* * *

Beckett finished up the paperwork but didn't have the will to leave her desk to take down the pictures that had accumulated on the murder board. She was too busy in thought, mad at herself for how the conversation with Castle went. And if she was being honest with herself, which she realizes she has trouble doing when it comes to her feelings, part of her didn't want to pack up the case into a nice and neat little bow for the DA. Of course she wanted the closure for the victim and the victim's family, it was the main reason she became a cop.

Beckett wanted to help people get closure and help them learn the truth while she searched for the truth behind her own mother's case. She knew it was stupid because the case was already over but a part of her felt that if she didn't erase the words on the board or put the pictures into a box that the case would still be open. And if the case remained open then Castle wouldn't be leaving. She knew that was a lie too. If the case remained open for much longer she knew that after today there was a slim chance Castle would stay to the end.

She hated that when he told her how he felt that she remained silent. She had things she wanted to tell him but they wouldn't leave her lips. Her mind was betraying her heart like she taught it to do with years of building walls and hiding herself within their confines. And the outward appearance she constructed, always work never play, dating a guy but not committing, did a well enough job leaving the people who cared for her to shy away. Normally when people gave up she would just add another layer of bricks, escalating the amount the next person would have to climb to get in.

The words he spit out at her hurt, each one of them seeming to slice her skin with their sharpness. She wanted to feel angry for Castle's words and his reason for leaving but she couldn't. How could she be angry at him for speaking the truth when she wasn't brave enough to do that herself?

Whatever kind of relationship she had with Castle, it was the first relationship that when the person admitted defeat she didn't give a sigh of relief. She also realized before Castle left the precinct for the last time that she wanted to talk to him again.

* * *

Sitting at her desk, staring at his chair turned out to be a surprisingly helpful way of sorting out what she wanted to say. It seemed to her that if he was going to leave that he should know how she felt and what his consulting with the NYPD had meant to her.

If things went right she would tell him how having him in the precinct made her happier. How he made her job easier, she still takes her job just as serious but he gives her a reason to smile, which in her line of work a reason to smile isn't always easy to find. That she has grown to like his outlandish conspiracy theories and having a chair reside by the side of her desk.

Most importantly, she wanted to apologize to him. She uses her mother's murder as an excuse to keep people at bay and keep herself protected. Though some days she doesn't admit it herself but, she is hesitant to let people in because the less people in her life means the less people can be taken away from her. The price to pay for keeping people out is not letting people in and she wants to tell him that maybe this time it is becoming too high of a cost.

Lastly, she wants to tell him that her and Josh are just dating, but she somehow doesn't think it will make it into the conversation. Most of what she has to say doesn't have anything to do with Josh and she wants to keep it that way. In her head she knows if Castle is really leaving that she will need someone by her side. She's not sure if she wants that person to be Josh because the more she thinks about it the more she realizes that he isn't Castle.

After planning out what she was going to say she couldn't sit any longer. Since the case was over she had no choice. Placing her irrational thoughts into their own box, she makes her way over to the murder board and after putting all the pictures away, she picks up the eraser, swiping away the last of the case.

* * *

The party wasn't extravagant like any of his book parties and that's why he liked it. It was simple and he didn't even have to pretend to have a good time. At first he thought the get together would be a bit awkward, to say the least, after his basically one-sided conversation with Beckett. He had been wrong. It helped that he didn't focus too much on the detective sitting to his right and instead, focused in at all the filled seats around him and the nice flow of conversation reaching his ears.

Everyone he had grown to like to see on a regular basis was there. Captain Montgomery, the guys, Lanie, and Beckett. Even though his departure was leaving Beckett and him not on the friendliest of terms, he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed the time they spent together over the years. It didn't hurt that the party conversation had turned more into everyone reciting some of their favorite times working with Castle or the numerous antics he had gotten into over his time with the NYPD. Being the easy going guy he is, Castle couldn't help but add to the conversation with some of his own favorite moments.

Disrupting the memories replaying in his head, he heard Ryan's voice which Castle only now realized, had been speaking for quite a while.

"Can't believe Esposito and me were too busy running back out of the building to see Castle's face when he miraculously took the gun away from him."

Castle was pretty sure he knew what instance he was talking about so he jumped in.

"I know! The only people who witnessed my ninja like speed and reflexes were Beckett and the killer. And after Beckett cuffed the guy it looked like she wanted to so some killing of her own."

"Yeah because you had never told me the safety was still locked on the gun and you lead me to believe you were actually in danger."

"Like I said back then 'where would the fun have been in that'?"

Nobody could keep a smile from forming on their faces at the scene that was appearing in their heads from the conversation between Castle and Beckett.

"Wait a minute Beckett, you never told us that the safety was on the gun when we asked what happened later that day."

"It didn't seem that relevant at the time Esposito. And as much as I was mad about it at first I didn't want to spoil Castle's story. You should have seen his face when he realized he somehow ended up with the gun in his hands and his surprised exclamation of 'Tell me you saw that!'"

Esposito responded with,

"It's probably the same look on his face when he gets a candy bar from the vending machine and two fall down."

Now everyone was having a good laugh.

* * *

After some of the laughter died down Castle began recalling one more memory before his departure.

"That may have been a great story but I like this one better. It was the case where jewelry thieves had started to kill their victim when they got in the way and I had wanted to take some copies of the pictures of the jewelry home to look at. I knew Beckett wouldn't just let me take them home so I showed up at the shooting range to ask her anyway."

"You mean hustle me Castle."

"I have no idea what you are referring to detective. Anyway, she let me take a couple of shots and I couldn't hit the target if my life depended on it. In between a few shots and Beckett trying to show me how to shoot properly, I asked about taking the pictures home. Then she told me if I can shoot any of the last three bullets in the ten range I could get some copies. Every last bullet made it into the ten range."

"If I would have known you could actually shoot a gun I never would have made that bet."

"I know, and lucky for me you were a good teacher."

Castle let one of his more devious smiles appear on his face, the one that makes the skin close to his eyes crinkle and has dimples appearing on either side of his face.

Beckett let out a laugh and a smile of her own, remembering that same smile of his only inches away from her own when he had in fact, hustled her.

"As much as I would like to stay here, I should be getting home guys. I promised Alexis a game of laser tag, well actually I've been asking her to play all week but she's been busy with homework. But seeing that it is Friday after all, I think she will be willing to take a break."

Castle got up and the other detectives and Lanie joined him.

Lanie was the first to go up to Castle and give him a goodbye hug.

"It sure has been nice having you around in the ME's office Castle. It's going to be hard getting used to the quiet again. But don't hesitate to drop by if you need to update your medical terminology."

"Will do Lanie, see you around."

Next it was Ryan and Esposito.

"Hey man, it's been good to have you around. Even though I'm reluctant to say it I've gotten used to having you around here."

"Well thanks Esposito and you guys know you're always welcome at _The Old Haunt." _

They patted each other on the back and Ryan began to speak.

"We're gonna miss you around here Castle, conspiracy theories and all."

"The feeling is mutual guys."

After shaking hands with Ryan, Castle turned to Montgomery.

"Captain I just wanted to thank you for letting me come here and annoy your detectives from time to time. Somehow I have a feeling if you really hadn't wanted me here I wouldn't have been allowed to stay, so thanks."

Captain Montgomery outstretched his hand and concluded,

"Letting you stick around kept the precinct from becoming boring and we all seem to enjoy that coffee machine you gifted us with, which is staying behind by the way."

"Of course, wouldn't want you guys to suffer in my absence."

Castle turned around to give Beckett a final goodbye but he didn't see her, she must have snuck out when he was saying all his goodbyes.

* * *

If she wasn't going to stick around long enough to say a goodbye to him then he wasn't going to wait to get one. He walked out toward what used to be his chair and grabbed his jacket that was draped along the back of it. When he looked up he saw Beckett in the break room making a coffee. Without thinking better of it he walked towards her.

He stuck his head in the doorway and said his goodbye.

"I'm heading out Beckett so I figured I should say goodbye before I leave."

"Hey Castle can we talk before you go?"

"I don't really think there is anything left to say, do you?"

"You may have said everything you wanted to but I haven't.

She took a few steps to the table in the break room motioning for Castle to join her. With reluctance, the writer obliged.

I made you a coffee, it probably won't taste as good as when you make them but it's one of the three c's right?"

"Yes it certainly is."

With that, Castle grabbed the coffee from Beckett's outstretched hand and he had to admit it felt different. Not the way their hands touched and gave him chills down his spine which he couldn't believe Beckett didn't feel as well, it felt different because she was giving him a coffee, not the other way around.

She was reaching out for him and it was a nice change.

* * *

_Maybe this chapter helped with some people's feelings about Beckett, maybe not._

_Reviews are encouraged, thank you for reading._

_To Be Continued._


	7. Memories and Realizations

_Chapter 5 of He Was Already Hers_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Castle_**

_I know it took a while to update, I would throw in an excuse but a new chapter is up now so… _

_Thanks for sticking with it. Those of you who aren't too happy about how Beckett comes off I guess my thinking and yours aren't jiving. Maybe when the story is completely done you will feel a bit better about her. My goal isn't to make every character likable all the time. I don't really have a goal for the stories I write, except that I deem them good enough. :)_

* * *

Castle and Beckett were occupying opposite sides of the table in the break room and neither one saying anything. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't an awkward silence. It was almost serene, like the universe was actually going to allow them to leave things on slightly better terms than both Beckett and Castle had expected.

Castle had taken a few drinks of his coffee that Beckett made for him, and yes it wasn't the perfect cup of coffee but the taste didn't really matter to him. There is just something better about someone making something for you that makes the 'whatever' it is ten times better.

He remembers on Father's day years ago when Alexis made him breakfast in bed. It was the first time Alexis had ever done something like that for him and he could have sworn that the act of someone showing they care by making something for you is what counts. It's what makes the breakfast Alexis made or the coffee Beckett gave to him better than when he makes those things for himself. He knows this to be true because Alexis was only about eight when she made him breakfast in bed and the breakfast itself consisted of burnt toast and a bowl of soggy cereal. Of which, he ate every bite.

Besides Alexis, no one really did things like that for him. Meredith and Gina never cared to show that kind of sentiment. Meredith only ever did if there was something shiny in the windows of her favorite jewelry store and Gina only seemed to make nice gestures like that when she really needed him to get ahead in his writing. He was the one who would reach out to them.

Castle knows that Beckett couldn't have possibly known how he felt about others doing things for him and the act itself made him soften a little. Soften enough to stay and listen to what Beckett wanted to say without butting in with his own stubbornness or anger in between hers and cutting off her words.

* * *

With one more swig of his coffee and an involuntary slurp of his lips, which broke the peaceful silence, he lowered the coffee mug down from his lips and placed it on the table.

"You know, your coffee doesn't taste exactly how mine does when I make it but I may like it a little more than mine. I've always felt that things always taste better when I'm not the one that had to make them."

"I know what you mean Castle. My mom and I used to make Christmas cookies every year a few days before Christmas, after we had spent the previous couple weeks perfecting the tree and all the other Christmas decorations. And we would always make the cookie batter together and she would let me pick out which shapes to use to cut out the dough with. And then when it came to making the frosting I always gave her an excuse to why she had to make it. It's not like I hadn't watched her make it since I was big enough to stand on my tiptoes and see over the counter, or that I couldn't make the frosting just as well as she could. There was just something better about it when she made the frosting. Somehow it tasted better. I think she knew the real reason why I always wanted her to make the frosting instead of me. That's how she was. She somehow always knew how I felt before I did."

When Beckett stopped talking, it took a moment for her brain to catch up with her mouth. She couldn't believe she just told him that. If anyone else had been sitting across from her other than Castle, she doesn't think she would have said that out loud. Ever since her mom died, she never spoke about her mother in a normal conversation.

She always held it in because talking about her mom hurt too much. Reminding herself of all the good times she had with her mother had only ever reminded Beckett that she could never make any more good memories with her. And out of every memory she has of her and her mother together, Beckett couldn't fathom that she chose one from Christmas. Those memories were the ones she guarded with extra bricks. The ones she even attempted to hide from herself.

Christmas was her mother's favorite time of year and the memories she has of Christmas's with her mother are the ones closest to her heart. She never brought up anything having to do with her mother to anyone before. The only person who had known much about her mother besides her father was Will. And the only things he knew were about her mother's case, she didn't tell him anything personal. Though she hasn't been dating Josh for that long, Beckett hasn't even mentioned her mother to him once.

She always thought not telling people about her mother was what she should do. That it would make things easier for her, always figuring that if they knew about her mother that it would just push them away. And yet here she was, sitting across the table from Castle and telling him one of the more personal stories she has of her mother and herself, and she didn't even bat an eyelash. Beckett didn't even give it a second thought. It just flowed from her lips before she realized what she was saying. And now that she thought about it, it felt nice. Talking about her mother normally filled her with grief and a sudden sadness, but here, talking with Castle, she almost felt happy talking about it.

With Castle, Beckett was able to talk about her mother without thinking about the case, without thinking about the reason Johanna Beckett isn't around to make new memories with her daughter.

It was the understanding that she could tell Castle things she felt she couldn't tell anyone else that made her realize. She realized she couldn't let Castle leave without a fight. If he needed time now she could deal with it, as long as his departure wasn't permanent. It has made her realize that what she was going to tell Castle wouldn't be enough, not for him and not for her. She is tired of not letting people in because of the fear that they won't stay.

As much as it scares her, she knows that she has to make the next step. She needs to get rid of the life preserver and just hope she is ready to swim.

* * *

Beckett shook out of her thoughts in time to hear Castle start speaking.

"Exactly, somehow it just tastes better. And I like your story by the way, I could just picture a younger you with blue colored frosting all over your face as you try seeing over the counter."

"As accurate as that may be, why do you assume I would be dipping my fingers into the blue frosting?"

"Mostly because I'm sure purple wasn't a choice and there is just something about the vibrant color of blue that I think the young Kate Beckett just couldn't resist. And, it's also one of the four colors that come standard in a food coloring dye set, so I had a one in four chance of being right."

"Yeah but why not choose a Christmas color like red or green?"

"I stick with my answer of blue, call it writer's intuition."

"Well you are right, it was blue frosting that I liked the best."

"Ha, I knew it!"

With a look of triumph on his face he drank the last bit of his coffee and stood up to go rinse his cup. After cleaning the coffee mug and placing back next the all the other mugs he turned to face Beckett.

"So, what is it you really wanted to talk about before I go? I promise whatever it is, I will wait until you finish speaking before I say anything."

Beckett took a step toward him but not before glancing towards the door to make sure it was closed before looking up at him. She shuffled her feet a bit and then decided to speak the truth.

"I wanted to apologize Castle. For a lot of things but I really wanted to apologize for how I left things earlier. When you said your goodbye to me and told me why you were leaving, I hardly even acknowledged what you had to say. I was surprised by it all and I guess I used this wall I've built up over the years to pretend I didn't care. But I do care Castle, so much more than I wanted to admit.

I know you have to do what's right for you but for all it's worth, I really don't want you to leave. It's probably selfish of me to say but you are the only person who has actually cared to stay. I pushed you away for a long time and you never quit coming back. And I want to thank you for that. It's meant so much to me and I'm sorry I haven't told you that. When you first found your way into shadowing me I didn't really want you here. I was convinced that you were just going to make my job harder and hinder my ability to prove myself as a detective.

I hadn't been a detective very long and here I was thrown some nine year old on a sugar rush. But after a bit I realized that I liked having you around. You made my job easier Castle, you made me happier. I take my job as a homicide detective really seriously and you've made me see that it's okay to have a little fun, even when working a case. You started out just shadowing me but somewhere between your first day and today you've become like a partner to me.

When you said we were never really friends it hurt. But I understand it. We never were friends. Maybe for a little while in the beginning but I think we always danced around the prospect of being more than friends. We were in between friends and something more, so calling what we had a friendship would be lying.

I know I would be lying if I called what we had a friendship because you are the one person who knows me probably as well as my own mother did. I didn't have to say anything for you to know how I was feeling that day. I had been having a hard time with the case because it reminded me of my mother's and I just simply missed her. And even though I always miss my mother, it hit me harder that day. Without having to ask you knew. You could tell what was going on and you made sure I wasn't alone. You came over to my apartment and got me to let you help. Just having you around helps. And when you said we could go back to normal after that night I felt grateful. Not because I don't like you but because I was scared of taking things further. I didn't want to ruin us. I wasn't ready to start something more because I knew that if things didn't go right that I could lose you.

Even now when we were sitting down I wasn't ready for anything more. I'm still not sure if I am but when I know for sure that I am ready, I know it's not Josh I want . I wasn't even going to bring him up but when we were sitting there and I told you a memory about my mother, that's when I realized.

Castle I never talk about my mother to anyone. If it doesn't have to do with her case, I make the topic off limits. For some reason though, I didn't have any problems sharing that memory with you. I didn't even think about what I was saying until I had already said it. And when I realized what I told you I was happy about it. For once when I spoke of my mother, I didn't feel sad or the weight of her murder on my shoulders. I was simply telling a happy memory about my mother and me.

So what I realize now is that you're the person who makes breaking my wall down worth it. Without even realizing it you've been knocking it down piece by piece, and I let you.

There's more I could say and I will continue trying to show that I mean what I've said but I don't want to keep you from Alexis any longer than I have already."

Castle almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. He liked most of what he heard too but it was a lot to think about. He spent about three years trying to show that he wanted more than a friendship or whatever it is they had and he just recently made up his mind to move on. He needed time to think and if Beckett had meant what she said then she would be okay with that. He gave her years, the least she could give was a few days.

"I think I need some time to process all of this Beckett. I think for now it's better for this to still be my last case but after I think about everything I'll call you. I promise."

Beckett knew it was a lot to take in, she almost couldn't believe everything she said herself. If he needed time, she would give him time.

"Yeah, tell Alexis hi for me."

"I always do."

Closing the distance between himself and Beckett, he stepped forward and took her hand. Saying goodbye with a handshake was never the same as a hug, but when it comes to Beckett, Castle knew that like a cup of coffee, the handshake would mean much more.

* * *

_Thanks for reading, love to know what you thought._

_To Be Continued. _


	8. Decisions

_Chapter eight of He Was Already Hers_

_Just an update for those reading my stories. I haven't forgotten about any of the stories, I am just trying to make sure that none of them end up sounding a lot alike since some are from the same season. Also I am going to be pretty busy until into May so I am not going to be able to update as often as I would like. Hopefully you stay along for the ride._

_For those who celebrate Easter, Happy Easter to you, and everyone else, hope you have a great weekend. _

_:)_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or the characters._**

* * *

He fell asleep in his office chair again. It wasn't unusual for him to wake up with his laptop's sleep setting flashing words across the screen, mocking him and reading 'you should be writing'. It was true. Castle's normalcy was to be behind in his writing and to procrastinate until the last minute before sending off his newest chapters to Gina. But this time was different. He was ahead in his writing by almost ten chapters all thanks to his predicament at the twelfth. Of course, he was the one who severed that tie and was deciding whether to move on or continue to work with Beckett and the guys. But nonetheless, the decrease in distractions was mostly good for his writing. For one, it gave him more time to actually write and less excuses not to.

However, not being in the hustle and bustle of the twelfth precinct, well maybe just not in sight of his muse, gave him very little inspiration for the chapters that were still to be written. Not the plot of the story or the whodunit part, he already had enough examples from his imagination and from consulting with Beckett and the guys to write multiple crime novels.

What he didn't have was a direction for the characters in the book to go. They were at a standstill. A truce. If Nikki and Rook were in the realm of cartoon characters, they would both be holding up flags made of white, waving them around in the air while admitting surrender. And that made Castle bored. It made the chapters difficult to write. Without the relationship of Nikki and Rook to work on, there was nothing in the book but the actual investigation. Which, for some readers may be why they read the books, but most people who want to read just about the murder investigation itself, well then they would just pick up a true crime novel. Perhaps one written by James Patterson.

Castle would admit, if only to himself, that the reason Nikki and Rook were at a standstill may somehow have something to do with the fact that him and Beckett's relationship was someplace similar. Sure Beckett put her cards face up on the table and told him what she felt and he was glad she did so. But part of him couldn't help but think that if he and Beckett started a relationship, that she may return to her old ways and start playing seven card no peek. And that was a card game Castle wouldn't play. He wasn't about to start a game he knew he couldn't win. He's not a sore loser though he really likes to win. He realizes relationships aren't just a game, it's not something you win or lose at, but he just doesn't want to be the only one to place all their cards of hearts down if the other player won't do the same.

For as many what if's and fears he had of this relationship, he also has all of the it could be great's. And questions aside, he also has his feelings. He wants more with Beckett and he knows a friendship will be impossible if she dates other guys as he stays to watch. It's one with thing to be friendly and work on a case together, it's another when the person you want to be with shows up with a date of their own.

He heard Beckett's speech and he believed every word and knew some of the things she admitted didn't leave her lips with ease.

And without realizing herself until recently, Beckett somehow chose him. He was the one who she let pester her and stay for more than two years. He is the one she has started to let inside the wall she built up. And in so many other instances, it has been him.

All those realizations were great and they made Castle want something more with Beckett. He can't even pinpoint the day when he realized he wanted more than to just shadow her at the precinct. The first few weeks were just for fun, to piss her off a little, get her to lighten up some. It was a game back then. Whatever relationship they had then didn't mean much to him. He could have been kicked out after the first case or first day, and he wouldn't have cared. Yeah, his source of entertainment would have had to have changed, but it wouldn't have been a big deal. Now was different. He was invested at the twelfth. He had people he considered friends at the twelfth. Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, and even Captain Montgomery were his friends. And of course there was Beckett.

* * *

In between waking up at weird angles that left his neck sore for the next couple days and left his posture a bit worse for wear, Castle had plenty of time to contemplate his relationship with Beckett.

He came to realize that he wanted Detective Beckett to be more than just Detective Beckett. He wanted to be able to call her Kate, he hadn't before because at work people call her Beckett. Out of the world of the precinct, some people called her Kate. There was something refreshing about having the ability to call her Kate. It wasn't because other people she had dated in the past had called by her first name. Castle wanted to call her Kate because it meant they had more than working relationship. More than a partnership. And as easy as it sounds, he wants to be able to take her to lunch and not have to explain that it's just two coworkers eating in the same restaurant, at the same table, and maybe sharing some occasional banter. More than anything else though, he wanted Beckett and himself to have the chance to be great together. He's tired of each other holding in their feelings for fear of the other person's rejection.

He decided he would tell Beckett he needed a bit of time. He didn't want to wait to be more than what they are but he had to know she was ready too. He had to know that this is more than Beckett not wanting to lose him because she had gotten used to him. He doesn't want to be another placeholder in Beckett's life, not another bookmark denoting a different time in her personal autobiography.

He's been a placeholder before with Meredith and again with Gina. The time he spent with them was great but both times were short lived. He didn't mean enough to either two women to make it to the next chapter of their lives. He didn't want that to happen a third time. So this time before jumping into something while wearing blinders, he was going to give a little time.

They had waited long enough but to make sure she meant what she said, he would a little longer. His idea of longer was about the extent of a week, maybe two. Enough time for him to take a break from the precinct and enough time for Beckett to figure out if she really wants to be together or if she only likes the idea.

To him, the amount of time sounded perfect. And since Gina and Paula had been wanting him to do a bit of publicity for Nikki Heat, this week or two would be a great time to do just that. Being out of town for a little while would allow him to take a step back and see things from fresh eyes. Having to fly around the country to promote Nikki Heat and his books wasn't his ideal definition relaxing or having a good time but, it was more appealing than falling asleep in his office.

All Castle had to do to get this publicity tour going was call Paula to set it up. He thought about calling Gina but he didn't want to hear the nags about the upcoming deadline. He may be ten chapters ahead of schedule but she didn't need to know that. Even though Gina would falsely nag him about being behind, at least he could relax some while he and Beckett could figure out their relationship in the meantime. Once he spoke to Paula about arranging a tour, he would call Beckett and talk to her.

* * *

Having thought enough about his idea, he picked up the phone and called Paula.

"Ricky, what a surprise, you calling me for a change. If I wasn't an optimist I may think something was wrong."

"Hey Paula, everything's fine, I was hoping you could set up a publicity tour for Nikki Heat for this coming week or two."

"You're scaring me Rick, first you call me and now you're asking to go on a tour? There must be a reason for it but I won't ask."

"Isn't wanting to promote the Nikki Heat series enough of a reason Paula?"

"Well you would think that but when Gina or myself tell you about a tour you usually act like we're pulling your teeth out."

"Yeah I do don't I, but it feels one in the same to me."

"Well you're not getting out of this one since you called me. So, want to meet at Black Pawn tonight to discuss the tour or are you gonna let me see this bar of yours you seem to always bring up when you have to sit through a meeting?"

"I only bring up The Old Haunt because when I'm in one of those meetings I feel like drinking. On second thought yeah, come to The Old Haunt. This way if I want a drink I can just pour myself one."

"Make it two and you've got a deal. I'll see you later Ricky."

"See then Paula."

* * *

After hanging up the phone, Castle walked out of his office and towards the kitchen, finding Alexis sitting at the island on a barstool, her back towards him and her nose in a book.

Meandering to the fridge and opening it, he searched for the bottle of chocolate syrup while simultaneously engaging his daughter in conversation.

"Hey Pumpkin, how was school today? Get to blow anything up in chemistry class?"

"It was good but my chemistry class didn't get to blow anything up. We had a lab on calorimetry. We used calorimeters to measure heat flow and to determine the specific heat of different metals. Not the most fun of experiments but it was easy."

As Alexis finishes her explanation, Castle squirted some chocolate syrup in his mouth while Alexis made a face of joking disapproval.

"I was going to offer you the bottle but I'm guessing by that look that you don't want it."

Alexis let out a small laugh and indulged her father by taking the bottle.

"I may not want to eat chocolate syrup straight from the bottle but some chocolate milk sounds pretty good."

Castle's grin stretched a bit further as he retorted,

"You know Alexis, you could do your own science experiment while making chocolate milk."

"I'm not sure I want to know what you have in mind."

"Don't worry Alexis, you used to do this all the time as a kid. It's easy. You just keep putting more and more syrup in until no more syrup can mix with the chocolate."

"Dad just thinking about that makes my teeth hurt."

"Oh come on daughter of mine, it's in the name of science."

"Well if this type of a super saturated liquid is in the name of science, I guess tooth decay will be too."

Alexis smiled as she brought her normally saturated and freshly made chocolate milk to her mouth, taking a drink.

"So pumpkin, what are your plane for this evening?"

"I think I'm just going to be studying for my test coming up next week in chemistry."

"Sounds like the responsible thing to do but how about you study for you test while I'm at The Old Haunt and when I get back you take a break and watch a movie with your favorite father."

"I guess I could make an exception, but I think I can just settle for you."

With a well-practiced look of dismay Castle cajoled,

"Ouch, your words hurt daughter."

Rolling her eyes and suppressing a laugh Alexis asked,

"What are you going to The Old Haunt anyway?"

"I'm meeting Paula there and we're going to discuss a publicity tour for Nikki Heat. I'll probably leave sometime next week. It won't be for longer than two weeks and I am going to see if I can't have her book places I don't normally visit, smaller towns."

"Sounds cool dad. While you're gone I can throw a party."

"I would probably be a lot more worried about that if I didn't know your meaning of the word party means Paige and a couple other girls studying and eating popcorn. I'm more concerned that while I'm gone your Grams will be here without an adult chaperone."

"You just know me so well dad. Seeing how you slacked off for a lot of your childhood, at least one Castle family member has to make up for it."

"In that case, thanks for picking up the slack Pumpkin. You are okay with me going on the publicity tour while you're still in school right?"

"Yeah dad it's fine. If I need someone to bail me out of jail or something I'll just get a hold of Beckett or the guys. And Grams will be with me here anyway."

"Alright sounds fair. I'm going to take a quick shower and then get ready to head to The Old Haunt."

Castle joined his daughter next to her on her side of the table and placed a kiss on top of her beautiful red hair. After giving, as well as receiving, a hug from his favorite person in the world, he went to his bedroom to get ready.

* * *

_Let me know your thoughts._

_Thanks for reading._

_AN: When I get a chance I will check for errors/mistakes, what have you._

_To Be Continued…_


	9. Elephant in the room

He Was Already Hers Chapter 9

A/N: Yes it's been a long time since the last update. Wish I could say I had time to finish all my stories or at least update them in a timely fashion, but my workload isn't lightening up any time soon.

P.S. This is sort of a fluff chapter.

**Diclaimer: **_No. As usual, all mistakes are mine. If my knowledge of things isn't correct let's just blame it on the internet and that this story is AU._

* * *

The sound of the elevator door opening was still something she was getting used to. Every time the door opened her mind kept telling her it would be Castle.

It wasn't.

He hasn't been coming around the precinct for a while now, he hasn't talked to her since they talked in the break room after his last case. It was only a couple of days ago but without his theories or comments the past two days had gone by excruciatingly slow. Though she has started to look up less often when the ding from the elevator signifies a new person is stepping foot into the twelfth, she still ends up looking for his smiling face more often than not.

He told her he needed time to think, she understands. She felt the same way when he had iterated to her that he wanted more out of their relationship, their partnership. She was at a loss for words and she understood that now, he may be the one who needed time to find their voice. She would give him as much time as he needed while hoping that when he was ready to talk he would say he wants to stay.

He said he would call.

He promised.

And she trusted he would.

* * *

She had something she wanted to take care of before he told her his decision anyway. Beckett had wanted to already have done this the same day she told Castle how she felt. She wanted to let Josh know that whatever thing they had started wasn't going to work. She had no worries that Josh would be angry or too upset about it. They had only gone on a handful of dates and none of them had gone exceptionally well. Their first official date was actually the time he showed up at the precinct. They had met a few times before but they hadn't considered those dates. He was a nice guy but he wasn't what she recently realized she wanted. And on top of that, Josh wasn't what she knew she needed.

Although Beckett wasn't going to be seeing Josh around at all, give or take a slightly awkward run in here or there, and though she wasn't even sure if they were ever exclusive, she didn't want to send him a text or call him to end things. Beckett wanted to do it in person instead. She wanted Josh to get that sense of finality. From a previous experience she knows that sending a text or breaking up over the phone doesn't ever go well. One thing she learned was a breakup in a textual form is a rude way of saying we're over. Like the person wasn't worth enough of your time to see them in person to tell them face to face.

The only problem with breaking up with Josh in person was he was never around. Luckily he wasn't on another Doctors without Borders trip, but he was still always busy. She had tried to meet up with him for the past two days to talk to him and he has had to work each time. She was getting restless trying to arrange a time for them to talk. Finally she just sent him a text telling her to let her know when he had time to see her and if he didn't have time then to just call her.

If he couldn't find a time to meet her in person she would just have to find him at his job. The last thing she wants is for Castle to come to her with an answer while she still hasn't been able to talk to Josh.

* * *

Beckett was currently shuffling through the papers on her desk searching for a case file. She could have sworn she had it in her hands not but five minutes ago. She was becoming surprised to see how distracted and lost she seemed to be without the writer creepily staring at her while sitting in his chair next to her desk. She was used to him doing those kinds of things and his staring has become a little less a creepy and maybe even a little more sweet recently. And not to mention but when he stares, at least she has someone to tell her where she left case files.

With an annoyed sigh, she turned to the guys to ask them if they had seen what she did with the file.

"Hey Ryan and Esposito, do you know what I did that case file I had earlier? The one from the case we just wrapped up the other day?"

As she looked back at the guys she wasn't much surprised by what she saw. It was a rare day that they weren't working on an open case and today it showed.

On days they didn't have a case they were stuck at their desks going over old cases and catching up on the paperwork that piled up during open murder investigations.

When she swiveled her chair around to face the guys, she saw Esposito trying to type up one of the files he had been working on, though she wouldn't consider what he was doing as typing. Rather, he was poking at the keys on the keyboard, using only his index fingers and an occasional pinky finger, which reminded her of a chicken pecking the ground for loose feed. It was no wonder Esposito always had paperwork piled up on his desk.

Glancing over to Ryan she was met with a different scene entirely. It seemed he was taking a break from his paperwork, though it was more likely he never started. He sat with his feet propped up on his desk and his chair angled back. From the looks of it, Ryan was trying his hardest switching from trying to balance the tip of a pencil on his right index finger and tilting his head towards the ceiling so he could balance the pencil on his nose.

Apparently, Ryan was too busy with mastering the art of pencil balancing to answer Beckett or even realize she had spoken, so she directed the question over to Esposito.

Esposito broke his eyes away from the glow of the computer screen to answer Beckett.

"I'm not sure where it is Beckett, I'm working on typing up my notes from the case about the guy who was killed on that subway terminal."

"You mean the guy found on the Downtown C train?"

"Yeah Beckett, that's the one."

Beckett looked at him incredulously and with a bit of humor showing from the slight upturn of her lips.

"Esposito, we wrapped up that case weeks ago! You still haven't finished writing and typing up the report?"

"Well if Montgomery asks I have, but in reality, I have a bit more to type up."

"Maybe Montgomery should have you take a class on typing so you type less like a bird and more like a person."

"Yeah and maybe he should have you take a class on elephants, at least they wouldn't have forgotten where they put a case file."

Beckett gave a shake of her head and let out a small chuckle.

"Okay Espo, I'll give you that one, I have been known to misplace things from time to time."

Ryan seemed to come out of his pencil skill induced silence, joining the conversation with the loud squeak which came from his chair when it returned to its normal upright position.

"Yeah but Beckett hasn't misplaced near as many things since Castle has been around. By the way, you may mock Javi but it is true you know, elephants rarely forget. And did you know they mourn the loss of a loved one. They even sit vigil for the family member that died."

Esposito redirected his gaze towards his partner with his eyebrow raised slightly while he crossed his arms in front of him and leaned back in his chair.

"Alright Honey-Milk, I appreciate you having my back with that little fact I had about elephants, but how in the hell do you know that about elephants? It's like you're turning into a mini Castle with all the comments you've been saying lately."

"I'll have you know I wrote a report in my fifth grade science class on elephants and I received an A for my knowledge of the Loxodonta Africana and the Elephas Maximus."

"I'm gonna pretend I know what you just said and go back to my typing."

Just as Ryan was about to explain the names he listed off, Beckett cut him off and answered for him.

"Loxodonta Africana is the genus and specie that refers to African elephants and Elephas Maximus refers to Asian elephants, isn't that right Ryan?"

"Yeah it is, how'd you know that?"

"You weren't the only kid in the world who liked elephants enough to do a report on them. Anyway, have you seen that report I was talking about Ryan?"

"Not sure, but I think I remember you having a case folder in your hand when you went into the break room earlier to grab a coffee."

"Kay, thanks Ryan."

"No problem."

* * *

With that, Beckett turned on her heels and made her way into the empty break room. She remembers now, setting the case file down and going to pour herself a coffee when she stopped herself. It was silly on her part, she knew, but when she went to grab her NYPD coffee mug she came across the mug Castle used and she became easily distracted. Another reminder of Castle and what she very well had already lost.

She broke out of the fog and made her way to the table in the break room where the case file sat undisturbed. She walked swiftly out of the break room and to her desk with the file in her hands.

For the moment being, the only thing in her control seemed to be writing the case into the system. So, she took the one thing she could control and got to work, reminding herself to give Castle time, and hoping the rest would eventually fall into place.

* * *

_A/N: I know it's a shorter chapter, but continuing this one would have made the cutoff for the next chapter awkward. Yeah, let's go with that. _

_Thanks to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, or reviewed this story as well as my other stories. I appreciate all of you guys. I hope to update my other stories soon as well but unfortunately the real world comes first. Got to pay the wifi bill. :)_

_TBC_


	10. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

He Was Already Hers Ch. 10

A/N: Thanks for your continued reading, following, and favorites of the story, it means a lot that there are people literally all over the world reading my writing and hopefully enjoying what they read. I'm not able to update frequently as I have four different jobs and so getting time to write doesn't come about very often.

**Disclaimer: **No I don't own Castle or the characters, any dialogue that is similar or identical to that spoken on the show I also do not own, nor do I claim to own it.

* * *

Though Castle was trying to get on with the day and not let the conversation he had yet to have with Beckett get under his skin, it did anyway. But he knew life had a way of making things you deem most important to keep popping up and bugging you until they were dealt with.

He was stuck.

Castle knew what he wanted but what he wanted conflicted with what he needed. Thinking about everything logically and simplifying it down to its smallest root possible, it came down to this. Castle wanted to be in a relationship with Beckett but at this moment what he needed, was more time. The decision was the easy part. The hard part was not only explaining to but also convincing Beckett that they were worth the wait. Even if the waiting was only to assure Castle that Beckett wanted a relationship with him and that it wasn't to just keep him around.

Not wanting to put Beckett off any longer, Castle texted her once he had hopped out of the shower writing,

"_Hey Beckett, I have a meeting with my editor soon. You want to meet at The Old Haunt later for a drink and a bit of dialogue? Around eight o'clock? – Castle"_

After checking over the text a few times, he hit send. He tossed his phone on his bed and headed towards the closet, deciding on a pair of dark wash jeans and a simple, blue button down shirt.

As he headed toward the entrance of his bedroom, he picked his phone back up and slid it into the front right pocket of his jeans and clicked the clasp of his silver watch into place on his left wrist.

* * *

While on her lunch break, Beckett texted Josh and decided to give him a few hours to answer. Not to her surprise, he didn't. No text back and she was getting fed up with the radio silence.

A week ago, the silence from Josh would have been a comfort to her. She thought dating someone who was seldom available for dates or even a steady stream of 'hi how are you's' would make dating someone easier. She was wrong. Yes, for the couple weeks she had been dating Josh, not having him overcrowd her was great. She didn't have to overshare or explain how even though he was dating her, there was a small chance she was actually dating him. It didn't make complete sense to her either, so she had been glad to not have to try explaining to someone else how it was hard for her to let herself get attached to anyone.

She comes off as a bitch sometimes, and lately most of that was directed at Castle. She doesn't need to go down the list of dates to pinpoint the moment she started to pretend not to care about the people around her. She knows the month, day, year, and time when she stopped letting people in. It was a coping mechanism she learned when it seemed the only thing people ever did was leave. After her mother died, along the line she became picky with whom she allowed to hurt her.

So when Beckett allows someone to make her care, they make it harder for her to keep up her fake charade of indifference. She's been hurt enough times in her life that she knows shutting people out doesn't help to not get hurt, but not enough times that she stopped caring about shielding herself from the blow-back and destruction that stays behind once the person is no longer around.

That leaves her with the reaction she had when Castle told her he was leaving. Much like when Will left, Beckett transcended into shut-down mode. She had let them both speak while she looked for an evacuation route that would allow her the least amount of pain possible, knowing she would be hurt either way. Keeping people at a safe distance makes it harder for them to hurt you, but people never have the chance to hurt you if they never get a chance to help you. And the biggest difference between Will leaving New York and Castle leaving the twelfth, is that with Castle, she doesn't mind the risk.

Hoping for a text from Josh saying he could meet her somewhere to talk, she glanced at the new message alert on her phone. It wasn't Josh. It was Castle.

Reading his message she decided enough was enough. She couldn't wait for Josh to find the time, she would just have to find him and tell him in person.

Now.

Before leaving to talk to Josh she replied to Castle's text while a restrained hope fluttered in her chest.

"_I'll be there."_

* * *

Without a second glance at the paperwork she still had piled on her desk, she stood up and whisked her coat off the back of her chair, flinging the leather material over her head to land on her shoulder with ease. She headed for the elevator, her power heels clicking with each step, as she made her way out of the twelfth.

Castle perched himself up on the bar-stool closest to the door to his office and nursed a glass of Pepsi. Yeah, he had joked to Paula how talking to her about book sales and being stuck in meetings made him wish for a nice and refreshing chilled scotch on the rocks, but he'd much rather be sober when making book tour plans with Paula.

The book tour was as good an excuse as any to take time away from Beckett as well as to get some time to decide if he would go back to the twelfth regardless of if he and Beckett were together. If he was being honest, more than likely the mystery of murder would draw him back to the twelfth like a moth to a flame.

Without any warning, he knew the moment Paula arrived at _The Old Haunt _because, like his first wife Meredith, Paula was always making herself well known wherever it was she went.

Having walked up to Castle, Paula leaned in to give Castle a hug, more for show than sentiment while she cajoled,

"So Ricky, drinking already? You drinking, anything I'd like?"

With a smirk on his face Castle reciprocated the gesture and replied,

"Not drinking yet Paula. Just Pepsi, I'm saving the heavy stuff for when you try to talk me into a month long absence, or a trip out of the country like last time."

"Well, you know I wouldn't have to proposition you for these long trips if you went willingly more often. And Pepsi, what is a bar doing with Pepsi? You ever heard someone order a rum and Pepsi, Rick?"

Castle let out a small laugh and directed his answer back to Paula,

"That's your subtle way of telling me you want a rum and coke, huh? And by the way, my daughter and I have both been in agreement that Pepsi outshines Coca-Cola in every category except one."

"I'm pretty sure Coke is better than Pepsi in more than one occasion, but humor me while you make the first exception."

Castle stood up from the bar-stool and meandered back behind the bar to make Paula her rum and Coke. After having added some ice to a new glass and the required spiced rum, Castle came back to face Paula, placing the glass on the bar and filling it the rest of the way with Coke by pushing the correct tab on the soda spout. While sliding the drink towards Paula, Rick answered by exclaiming,

"Alexis has made the point and I have conceded with agreement that the only way Coke outshines Pepsi is in their mascots. I couldn't argue with her, she was six when she made the observation and it wasn't wrong. Polar bears are pretty adorable compared to the circular red, white, and blue logo for Pepsi."

Paula took a sip of her drink and teased Castle declaring,

"If that's how you negotiate then this whole book tour set up will be a breeze."

"What have you got lined for me anyway, assuming you took into account I only want to be gone a couple weeks and nothing out of the country."

"Well, seeing how this was your idea, I thought I could work with two weeks for you to be promoting the books series and you'll be going to six different states for two days a piece, visiting two cities in each state."

"Surprisingly Paula, that doesn't sound too bad. What's the catch?"

"No catch Ricky, as long as you aren't falling behind on the latest Nikki Heat we're all good. I can have everything set up for you pretty quick. I can get you a tentative schedule sometime tomorrow."

"Sounds great Paula. And look at that, I didn't even need a drink."

Paula took a final draw of her still almost full drink then responded,

"Well don't get used to it Ricky."

Then as she started walking to the entrance of _The Old Haunt, _she commented over her shoulder,

"Talk to you when I've got everything set up for you."

After saying their goodbyes, Paula having left _The Old Haunt, _Castle cleaned the glass Paula had been using and waited for Beckett to show up.

* * *

Walking onto the floor of the hospital Josh worked at, Beckett was lucky enough to find a nurse who directed her to his office.

When she reached his office, the light was on but Josh wasn't there. She stepped inside and figured she could just wait for him here. He couldn't put her off if she was standing in his office wanting to talk.

She'd been waiting for about ten minutes when Josh showed up in the doorway to his office.

A little taken aback by her presence, Josh announced,

"Hey Beckett, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you and I thought it could wait for a better time but I don't think there's gonna be one."

"Alright well, what's going on?"

Beckett took a breath to calm her nerves a little as she explained to Josh that she didn't want to see him anymore.

"I think it would be a good idea if we didn't go out anymore. I know we've only been on a few dates but I've realized that I already have feelings for someone else and I don't want to waste anymore of your time."

After listening to Beckett, Josh's face changed from serious to a half-sided grin when he mentioned,

"It's Castle isn't it?"

"That obvious, is it?"

"A little bit, but I wouldn't worry about it. Well, good luck Beckett."

"Good luck to you too Josh."

* * *

Beckett arrived at _The Old Haunt _and waited a second to collect herself before she descended the stairs to the entrance.

Unknown to Beckett, her taking a moment to collect herself was quite the companion look to Castle's when she entered the bar for the first time and Castle needed a second before following. She had thought he was just letting her get to experience the initial entrance into _The Old Haunt _free of his praise of the place he had liked to come and write. She knew he was also messing with her for indulging him of his shenanigans when he chided "you may want to pop one more button" which explained to her the look on Castle's face when she turned to descend the stairs to the bar. She hadn't known how much of the show he put on was actually real. And that likewise to Beckett, he really had needed a minute to collect himself before he returned at her side.

While entering the bar and striding towards the back, Beckett couldn't help but let her eyes travel to the younger, picture version of Castle, the then still Richard Rodgers, on the wall. She noticed how he still donned the same smile, the smile he had when he was genuinely happy and smiling out of true joy, now as he did back then.

* * *

Similar to Paula and Meredith, Castle new immediately when Beckett entered into _The Old Haunt, _but instead of a boisterous voice calling out his name or throwing a half-hearted hello, there was Beckett. She didn't have to speak in a loud voice to fill a room, the way she walked confidently and yet with her unmistakable feminine quality, like she had when walking up to her side of the table in the box to interrogate an unknowing suspect, was enough.

Tracing her location through the cadence of her heels as they made contact with the time honored hard wood floor, the sound of her steps notifying him of her continued path towards him, Castle looked upwards and met his eyes to hers.

Castle was the first one to speak.

A little unsure of how to start the conversation he mustered up a feeble,

"Hey."

Glancing up at Castle, Beckett offered up a close lipped smile accompanied by a small shake of her head as she answered,

"Hey yourself, Castle.''

Not wanting to put off the conversation Castle propositioned her with,

"So you want to talk and then have a drink after? At least that way if the conversation doesn't go ideally we at least have to end the night amicably with a drink or two."

A small laugh out of Beckett was followed by her uttering,

"Sounds fine Castle."

He directed her by the wave of his hands towards the booth at the very back of the bar where they could talk without being overheard or interrupted.

Both sitting on opposite sides of the booth and waiting for the conversation to somehow spring to life, Castle couldn't hold his tongue and blurted out his plans for the next two weeks.

"I'm going on a book tour for two weeks. I had called my editor and had her set it up for me. Sounds like she's going to have me on a plane as soon as she can."

He noticed her face fall slightly at the way he started the conversation with an admittance of him physically leaving for a while and he chastised himself for starting off without saying he wanted them to work. To be together.

"That sounds great Castle. So, where are you off to first?"

He wanted to change the course of the conversation to where he should have had it start but knew he needed to at least say something about the trip first.

"I'm not sure where I'm headed to first or at all really. I gave Paula guidelines like I'm only gone two weeks and I have to stay inside the country but, other than that I left it up to her. All I really know for sure is that I will be going to six different states for two days at a time and that I told her to choose places I haven't been before on tour."

"Well, that doesn't seem too bad to me. What do you think about it?"

He hadn't really thought about it but he did know he was almost actually excited to be heading to some places he hadn't really been to before. It had always been a not so secret goal of his to make it to all fifty states while he still could.

"Actually detective, I would say I'm almost excited about the whole trip. I like the idea of checking more places off my list of states I have yet to visit. I'm also kind of looking forward to getting away for a bit. When I'm on tour for my books, Gina and Paula stop emailing me so much about deadlines... Not to mention, it gives people I care about a chance to miss my annoying habits. So naturally, I'm only doing this to receive a nice big hug from Alexis when she informs me of how much she missed me."

"I don't know Castle, I think after some time your annoying habits start to grow on people."

"So what are you saying Beckett, you aren't going to miss me?"

"I didn't say I wouldn't miss you when you're gone for two weeks. I only said people get used to your habits and find ways to distract themselves from them."

The tilt of his head to the side with the addition of his eyebrows raising, Beckett smiled and added,

Anyway, what are you saying Castle, that you care about me and want me to miss you?"

Without missing a beat, Castle used this opportunity to talk about why he really had Beckett meet him at _The Old Haunt._

"That goes without saying, of course I want you to miss me. And what better way to start off a relationship with someone than them having had missed you and your annoying habits for two weeks?"

Castle's comment about herself and him being in a relationship did not go unnoticed and she let him know she heard by remarking,

"Well Castle, for most relationships people say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but, luckily for us, I'm already pretty fond of you. And since you've told me the same before, do you want to test out the theory anyway and start our relationship off of that?"

Unable to keep the smile off his face, which replicated his picture that hung on the wall, the smile that stretched the length of his face and caused his ears to move back slightly from the force, he resolved,

"Sounds like a plan."

Castle rejoiced in the fact that Beckett somehow knew how to make this conversation easier than he thought possible and made him wonder why he was ever nervous to have it in the first place. The fact that Beckett could show him how well she understood him at times, made him realize the two weeks he was gone may seem like too long, even though he needed the time to himself.

* * *

I do not use a beta for my stories so if grammar isn't perfect it's definitely just my own mistakes.

Thanks again for reading and hope to update in the not too distant future.

TBC


	11. Some castle in Utah

Ch. 11 He Was Already Hers; Some castle in Utah.

_A/N: Hey guys, hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think. I still have no longer how long this au story will turn out to be but we've got a while yet._

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own Castle or any dialogue from Castle or other works referenced in this story._

* * *

After a seemingly countless number of signatures later and messages from Paula asking him about updates on how the tour was going, Castle found himself shutting the door on his hotel room in Utah.

He walked a few feet into the room and flicked on the light, then made his way to the closet. He unbuttoned his jacket and effortlessly shrugged it off while grabbing a hanger, depositing the jacket inside the closet.

Not able to wait any longer, he grabbed his phone from his pocket, ignoring all new messages from Paula and Gina both, found the number he was looking for and pressed call.

Hearing someone pickup on the other end of the line Castle greeted, "Hey Pumpkin, how are things at the loft?"

Glad for a distraction from the small noise inside the loft, Alexis replied quickly, "Thankfully for you, it's pretty quiet around here, besides Gram going over her lines for that play she's in next month. So how's it going Utah, find anything Castle-worthy to do there?"

"I knew I left for this book tour at the right time. But actually, it has been really cool here. I was kind of surprised myself but today I actually had some time after my morning book signing to visit the Four Corners. It's not as exciting as it sounds to be in four states at once, although, I think for most people it's a rite of passage to say they have been there. So, naturally, I'll have to have you accompany me to make a trip out here sometime."

Alexis wandered over to the couch in the living room and started making herself comfortable while slightly rolling her eyes as she informed him, "Yeah dad, you sure are making the whole trip out to the Four Corners sound like a lot of fun."

She listened for her father to respond when she heard an over theatrical rehearsal voice, belonging to her grandmother, bellowing from the very far side of the room next to the piano. Martha's voice rang out in a loud, crisp tone, "A pox o' your throat, you bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog!"

Castle's baritone speech mocked through the phone's speakers when he asked Alexis, "Do I even want to know this time sweetheart?"

She crossed her legs up onto the coffee table, releasing a short string of giggles before finding her voice, answering her father, "It's the same as usual dad, like I said. She's rehearsing."

Understanding immediately Castle joked, "I see she's starting her vocal cord exercises with a little help from _The Tempest _then_. _My condolences pumpkin, I guess you must have lost the noise cancelling headphones I got you for Christmas this past year?"

"I didn't lose them but yeah, and luckily for you I left them at Paige's when I was there the other day, or I would have missed your call."

"Oh, so your loss is my gain, huh, I'll take it."

The consistent background of Martha repeating the same line over and over again in varying tones, emotions, and volumes came to an abrupt end only to be filled with an equal theatric request towards Alexis, "Hey kiddo, tell that son of mine hello from New York, and that his credit card is going to good use making me the most well-dressed actor in the play."

Watching her grandmother's right arm flourish in the air with true Martha fashion and not being able to help the smile that crossed her face, she focused back on her dad's phone call questioning, "You heard Gram well enough, right? I don't have to repeat anything do I?"

On the near other side of the country, Castle walked from the mini-fridge in his hotel room over to the bed and let out an amused sigh as he informed Alexis, "Don't worry Alexis, I got the gist of that statement, and so did my bank account. But she does know from experience that most plays provide the desired attire."

By this point Alexis knew her father would have a comment for Martha so she had conveniently set the call to speaker so Martha could hear Castle and he would have no trouble hearing with crystal clarity, Martha's response.

"Of course they provide the desired attire my boy, but this play isn't that high budget and my taste shouldn't, nor should my appearance, suffer because of that fact."

Castle was now sitting bent over on the bed, his right hand steadying his cell phone and his left hand removing his shoes while he shook his head a bit from amusement. Letting out a short but audible chuckle, he informed his mother, "Of course mother, just consider my credit card paying for your things as a gift for not having any parties and for looking after Alexis while I'm gone."

Martha crossed the room and came to a stop behind the couch Alexis was lounging in, placed her hands on either sides of the couch, one lying next to each of Alexis's shoulders. Martha leaned over slightly, a bemusedly look masking her face while she swiftly cajoled, "You got it kiddo. I have no problem looking after Alexis and I will keep the rehearsing parties down to a minimum."

Martha didn't wait for Castle to respond and practically sing-songed her way to an end of their conversation, "Well, hope you're having a good time on your book tour Richard, until next time kiddo."

Castle righted himself up and fixed his facial features after his brief conversation with his mother and waited until he was sure Alexis had the phone off speaker and up to her ear before pleading, "You are watching her right? I mean, I know I say that she's watching you but I think we all know it's the other way around."

Alexis got up off the couch heading for the stairs and laughed as she responded, "Dad, don't worry. She'll be fine, the loft will be fine. Everything, will be fine."

The ever present sound of Martha's stage voice entered in through the conversation again as a steady white noise, prompting Castle to reveal, "You know, the Hopi Native American tribes have the word _Koyaanisqatsi _which means life out of balance and although it doesn't name Gram specifically, I do sometimes think the word fits the bill."

"I'm pretty sure the term is used for most Americans' way of life compared to that of a Native American's way of life than it does to just people like Gram."

"You're more than likely right but I just wanted to bring it up because it sounded like a good segue to bring up the Navajo Indians I met today."

Alexis's intrigue in the conversation piqued again and she questioned, "Oh yeah! I remember in history class that the Navajo and a couple other tribes have land around the Four Corners' area."

Castle smiled at the fact that it seemed no matter what he brought up to his daughter she had some form of knowledge about it. "They do. It's mostly the Navajo, Dine, and Hopi tribes that have land in the area of the Four Corners. I actually bought a few things from them when I was there. The Navajo and Hopi have this Kachina doll that represents their Pueblo religious beliefs and the doll itself can stand for quite a few different beliefs of theirs."

"So you bought a Kachina doll then?"

"No. I bought two Kachina dolls. I bought one from a Navajo tribe and another one from a Hopi tribe. They look a little different from each other but I think the one from the Navajo tribe would go nicely in my office."

Alexis smiled and joked, "Look at you dad, going on a book tour and learning about different cultures instead of sitting in the hotel after a book singing and lounging by the pool. So, what are your plans for the other Kachina doll?"

At the question from Alexis, a mischievous grin donned Castle's face and his eyes squinted a little from the force of it. Taking a bit of relish in his idea of where to home the second kachina doll, he instructed, "Oh, I'm pretty sure a certain desk, at a certain precinct, in a certain homicide floor may help to get on a certain detective's nerves. And besides, other than the elephants on her desk and those nesting dolls I got a while ago which have somehow disappeared, the space is pretty bland, so you know, what's better than a kachina doll to liven up the space? See what I did there? Homicide detective, liven up the space…"

Once again Alexis rolled her eyes at her father's thought of humor and her mind couldn't help but scream 'dad jokes'. Knowing the conversation would have to come to a close so she could study, she prompted him, "I got it dad, thanks. And speaking of getting on a certain detective's nerves, have you talked to her lately? You've been gone for almost a week and even if you guys aren't on the best of terms you could always say you were hoping for an update on any weird cases."

Castle hadn't told Alexis, or anyone besides Beckett that is, that Beckett and him were going to give an actual relationship a shot. A part of him wanted to let people know but there was a bigger part that didn't want to jinx anything when they had agreed on waiting until he got back.

He had needed the physical distance to decompress but now that he had the physical distance, he couldn't help the fact that he didn't like not having talked to Beckett for a while. She had become such a vital part of his life over the last three years and though he had thought it would be easier, not talking to her was not only weird but made him feel like he had something to say but no one to tell. Like today for example. Going to the Four Corners and buying those kachina dolls, he told Alexis about them but there was something about Beckett and her comments on all his frivolous and eccentric ideas that made him smile and do the frivolousness to begin with.

He remembers when he bought those Russian nesting dolls about a year ago. Yeah, he had mostly bought them because he thought they were cool and because he had to buy something in every shop they went in, but he also did it because of the look on Beckett's face. Her small eye roll with the inclusion of a smile she tried to hide but couldn't.

He wanted to pick up the phone and call her but he kept thinking about how they left things. They didn't say all that much after they decided to wait until after he got back. It was basically a goodbye and see you later which somehow, given their conversation, didn't sit right with him. Like he was supposed to have done something before he left. And though he didn't know what it was, not doing it made him know the first conversation they had would be awkward. And knowing him, he would probably somehow say the wrong thing, so he came up with a different plan.

Remembering Alexis was waiting for a response on the other side of the line, he piped up saying, "I'll talk to her after a while, I have a feeling since I left that the Twelfth is probably getting all the good cases. Talk to you later Pumpkin, love you."

"I love you to dad, have fun on the next stop of your book tour."

He ended the call with his daughter and began his plan of attempting to make Beckett and his next conversation a non-awkward event. Putting his writing fingers to use he went on the internet to look up the necessary contacts to follow through with the plan.

* * *

Beckett focused on her screen as she typed up a report on their latest case, and was distracted by the sound of footsteps coming closer. She half expected Castle to be the owner of those feet click-clacking away on the hard wood floor but she knew he wasn't even in town right now. Not to mention, Castle hasn't been to the precinct in over a week nor has she seen him in six days (not that she's been counting the days until he gets back or anything). Against her rational thoughts, her head looked up and she confirmed that it was not in fact, Castle.

Having lost interest in whomever it was who entered the precinct and a bit downcast from the realization, she turned back to her work only to be brought back out of it by the ahem coming from a voice close to her desk which was clearly directed towards her.

Once the guy had her attention he cleared his voice once more and announced, "One Grande latté with two pumps of sugar free vanilla."

A bit confused, she hesitated before taking the cup from the barista, which she recognizes from her favorite coffee shop down the block, and states "I didn't order anything from you guys and I didn't think you delivered. In fact, I know you don't because I've asked before and I've been told more than once that you guys don't deliver."

Without missing a beat the barista turned delivery guy answered in a reassuring manner, "Don't worry it's already been paid for, and you're right. We don't deliver actually. But we are delivering for this one guy as a onetime only kind of thing."

A little skeptical Beckett replied, "What do you mean onetime only thing?"

"Just what I said. My manager instructed me to deliver one Grande latté, two pumps of sugar free vanilla to one Detective Beckett here at the Twelfth and to make sure she specifically gets it."

By now Beckett was sure the Ryan and Espo must have been playing a joke on her. As desperate as she was for a cup of coffee, one that didn't require burning or scalding the milk herself, she was reluctant to accept.

She turned to the guys and questioned, "You two know anything about this?"

Both of the guys looked confused like they had no idea what she was talking about. She still would have thought it was some kind of prank but she knows that Ryan cannot keep a straight face anytime he tries to lie. Hell, half the time she thinks he's lying because he can't keep a straight face when he's in fact, telling the truth either.

Knowing it wasn't one of the guys she prompts the barista delivery guy, "Then who's the guy that paid for it?"

"It's some guy in Utah, he didn't give a name. He just mentioned something about a castle and that he was from Utah. Sorry, I don't know anything else."

Even if the barista had more information Beckett wouldn't have needed it. She knew right away then that Castle had sent her the coffee. She didn't know how he was able to make them deliver it not just to the precinct but right to her desk but she was immensely happy he did. She had no idea how much she missed him handing her a cup of coffee in the morning. Though it wasn't physically handed to her by Castle himself, this coffee meant a little bit more.

Accepting the coffee from the barista delivery guy Beckett exclaimed, "Thanks for the coffee."

With that, the guy said your welcome and added an "I'll see you tomorrow" which Beckett missed as she was entranced by the fresh aroma of her much needed morning coffee.

She finished a few gulps of her coffee, savoring every sip of vanilla flavored coffee goodness and grabbed her phone off her desk. She set her cup down and created a new message to send to Castle,

_So, how's your castle in Utah?_

She knew he wouldn't get what she meant but she didn't mind having to explain it to him once he messaged back.

Beckett set her phone down and swiveled her chair around to face the guys as she tried to tame the almost giddy smile on her face when she questioned them, "Got anything new to break our case guys?"

* * *

_The information on Native American tribes and the kachina dolls may not be one hundred percent correct. I know some about the Navajo and their beliefs referring to kachina dolls but if something is not correct then it's my mistake. I actually took an Anthropology class on Native American tribes in college (I'm an Anthropology major) so I had a little background. I will say that my knowledge of different Native American tribes has morphed together a little because of the amount of tribes discussed and the short amount of time we had to discuss them. Oh well, mistakes and all, hope you enjoy. Yes, I know there wasn't much about the Navajo but I am hoping to write a Castle fic in the future that has more of that goodness in it. _

_(If I get a chance soon I will check for errors.)_

_Hope to post soon. _

_All reviews and favorites are appreciated._

_TBC _


	12. Two Letters

_It's been awhile since I posted, I know. It's been hectic in my world. School started back up and I've been balancing that along with two different jobs (I work as an aide and then also as a pharmacy technician in a hospital)._

_I hope I'm able to get the next chapter up sometime soon but I can't promise anything. At least there are only 5 more days until the new season of Castle starts! Hope everything is going good in your worlds. _

_All mistakes are mine, the characters and similarity of any dialogue or plots are not._

_Anyway on to chapter 12._

* * *

The time Castle spent in Utah had been enjoyable. The people he met had been pleasant. The fans always made his days when he was on tour. Yes, his hands would cramp from continuously signing autograph after autograph and sitting down made his back stiff, but he didn't mind. He would mind a lot less if these signings could all happen in New York where he could not only enjoy time meeting fans but also not be away from his family.

And away from Beckett.

Every time something funny or exciting happened he found himself looking to his side to either share a laugh accompanied by a Beckett eye roll or to be able to tell her of the hilarity she missed while he did something fun and she finished paperwork.

He still believed his idea to use a book tour as a way to take some space was a good idea. He just hoped that being a part was helping Beckett realize things Castle was. Like they are better together than they are a part. But he really could only know that answer once he got back.

He had a few states left to visit before he was able to return home. His next on the list being Wisconsin, stopping next into Iowa.

Castle woke up early the next morning to be ready for the flight to Wisconsin. The land of cows, beer, and cheese. He was sure they had more there than just that but to his knowledge his assumption could be wrong.

He went and took a shower, changing for the day. Since he wasn't doing much today instead of mostly traveling and settling into his hotel in Wisconsin, he wore a pair of dark wash jeans and one of his nicer superhero but not superhero T-shirts. Being honest with himself, they were all nice, but this one was his favorite. Technically a ship isn't a superhero but to him there was something that he loved about it. Didn't hurt that it was from his favorite TV show and that the main character of the show looked a bit like him.

Before heading to the front desk to check out Castle got all his things put together and picked up his phone to place in his pocket. He checked to make sure he had no missed calls and to message Alexis to have a good day at school. When he opened up his phone he saw he had a couple unread messages. Thinking it would be from Alexis telling him to have a safe flight he unlocked the phone to check his messages. One message, was indeed from his daughter, telling him she loved him and to have a safe flight. The other message was from Beckett. He was a little surprised that she messaged him but he kind of figured once she realized the coffee he sent was an everyday until he got back kind of thing, that he would have gotten something.

_How's your Castle in Utah?_

The message was a little strange though and using his slight confusion as a reason to call would be a good excuse as any. Though he imagined a better excuse would be that he just wanted to check in and see how things were going. Seeing that it was seven o'clock where he was meant that it should a decent enough hour to call Beckett. Without thinking it over any longer he called her.

The call went to voicemail. He left a message to let Beckett know he was a bit confused about her text and he decided to let her know he probably wouldn't answer any calls seeing that he was going to be on a plane to Wisconsin.

He then texted Alexis to have a nice day at school and that he would call once he had landed and she was home from school. Then he gathered his things together and went to check out of the hotel.

* * *

He called while she was in interrogation.

She had been waiting this guy out, hoping the guy in front of her just needed some radio silence to start talking. Beckett glanced down at her phone and had to fight the smile from covering her face and her fingers from accepting the call. She would have to call him back later to thank him for the not just the other days coffee but for the one from this morning. She had thought he would have messaged her back from her text yesterday but she knows that he must be busy. He was thoughtful enough to somehow convince this barista guy to deliver her a coffee every morning but she would much rather get a conversation with him. To be able to ask him about the book tour and tease him with details of their latest case. She'd have time to do all this after she got this guy across from her to talk.

Unknown to Beckett, Espo and Ryan were watching her interrogation from behind the glass. Though they all were good at their jobs, they both had to admit, Beckett had a special way of figuring a suspect out quickly and using the information to break them down.

Ryan noticed Beckett's phone light up and he couldn't help but mention to Espo,

"Betcha it's Castle calling."

Espo didn't take his eyes off the suspect, noticing the guy change the way he was sitting, like the suspect was getting restless.

"Yeah, he just can't stay away from the cases."

Ryan half snorted and half laughed as he added,

"I'm not too sure it's the cases he can't stay away from Espo."

Espo glanced Ryan's way and admitted,

"Dude, don't the cases and Beckett go hand in hand? You're not the only one whose noticed Beckett getting a cup of coffee delivered to her for the past few days. Like everyone else in the twelfth doesn't know who those are from."

"Yeah, but doesn't it make you think something's going on between them Espo?"

Esposito turned his view back to the interrogation room when he mentioned,

"Of course something's going on between them. Mom and dad basically had a screaming match in the interrogation room not too long ago. Castle's probably trying to make up for it."

Ryan gave it a moment of thought before he answered.

"Yeah I know but I hate it when mom and dad fight, it's hard keeping up with whose side we should be on. I mean, I know we are always officially on Beckett's side, but sometimes, I feel for Castle."

"Whatever man, I'm kind of upset with him myself."

Ryan scrunched up his face in confusion before asking,

"Why, what did he do to you?"

Espo let out an annoyed exhale of breath before explaining,

"Not just me bro, us. Castle has no problem getting Beckett coffee delivered to her every day, and what do we get? Nothing."

Ryan nodded his head in understanding but then realized,

"Though I wouldn't be opposed to a coffee on my desk every morning Espo, pretty sure a caffeinated Beckett is more pleasant than the non-caffeinated Beckett we'd been working with. So really, we should be thanking him too."

Espo turned away from the interrogation starting to walk towards the door to go back to his desk while Ryan followed,

"I guess you're right, and I think there may be something else going on between them, but I'm not sure yet."

* * *

The guys were just about back to their desks when Montgomery came walking briskly towards them. Something about his demeanor let Ryan and Espo know whatever Montgomery was about to tell them wouldn't be pleasant.

"You two, my office… Now."

Montgomery left, going the same way he had strode over to the two detectives while keeping up the brisk walk, which normally accompanied suburban mothers in the early morning hours of the morning during their daily power walks.

Before going to follow, Ryan turned to Esposito and questioned under his breath,

"What do ya think has him all riled up?"

Esposito answered him with a tone of agreement,

"I don't now bro, it obviously isn't good and seeing that he didn't go straight to Beckett, it's either not about the case we've been working or it's about something he doesn't want Beckett knowing about just yet."

Ryan nodded his head and headed towards the captain's office. After taking a few steps he stopped in his tracks and turned his head back towards Esposito, who nearly knocked into him seeing how Espo was following closely on Ryan's heels.

"Watch it bro, what are you doing?"

Ryan swallowed thickly and explained himself,

"I was just thinking, if Montgomery went to us because it doesn't have to deal with this case and he also doesn't want Beckett to know about whatever it is, it's probably about Johanna's case."

Esposito closed his eyes and sighed before directing Ryan to Montgomery's office,

"Ryan, if it is and I hope it's not, it's gonna be ten times worse without Castle here to talk some sense into her or distract her, but let's talk to Montgomery first before we know what's really going on."

"Yeah, maybe we'll get lucky and we're just getting reprimanded for not having finished typing reports yet."

With that they entered Montgomery's office and closed the door.

Montgomery wasted no time and gestured for them to get comfortable.

"Alright you two, before I let you know what's going on you have to know that as of right now, Beckett is to stay on the case you've been working and not switch to the one we just got a call from dispatch for not but twenty minutes ago."

Ryan and Esposito didn't even exchange looks though they both gave a similar head gesture of agreement and affirming "yes sirs".

"Okay then. I'm sure you two are familiar with Beckett's training officer after that crazy treasure hunt case and the bounty hunter part of it all. Anyway, we got a call from dispatch that Royce was found dead here in New York within out jurisdiction. Now I know Beckett is one of the best, but this case could break her. You guys know it, and unlike lately Castle isn't around. I don't want her getting to deep into this case. We all know she won't stop until it's solved. Lanie is the ME on this one and you guys are to arrive at the crime scene and take point on this."

There was a moment of silence before Ryan spoke up.

"I think we understand captain, but do you really expect us to keep this from Beckett? I'm not going to keep this from her, she should know what happened. And you know Beckett, she won't forgive us if she isn't put on this case."

"That's true detective. I didn't say she couldn't be on this case, I said she couldn't run point. She isn't calling the shots, she isn't interviewing the suspects, however, she will, be going home at a decent hour and letting you guys take point. Got it?"

"Got it. So, who's gonna be the one to tell her?"

Montgomery sighed while rubbing at his eyes,

"You guys go head out to the scene, I've got the address here. I'll take care of letting Beckett know, just don't be surprised if she shows up at the scene only minutes after you both."

Esposito and Ryan got up promptly and headed to the elevators. By the time the doors came to a close with them inside, Beckett was walking back to her desk after taking the suspect back to holding.

She entered the breakroom to heat up the rest of her coffee from earlier, compliments of Castle and the barista. Beckett had just pushed the start button on the microwave when she heard Montgomery's footsteps near the break room door.

"Captain." Beckett announced in greeting.

Montgomery gave her a saddened smile and directed her to the table and chairs.

"I'm afraid I have some not so pleasant news Kate, why don't you sit down."

Beckett's smile dropped from her face and she pressed on,

"Don't sugar coat it Roy, what's going on?"

* * *

While Esposito spoke with Lanie about Time of Death and looked around the rest of the crime scene, Ryan looked over Royce's body. He knew Beckett would too once she arrived, but she wasn't point on the case so he had to anyway. Lanie had told him before that there were two gunshot wounds and the fatal one was in the chest. The first shot being to his leg. He must have tried to get away after the shot to his leg, which Lanie rationalized because of the blood trail that went from the building to where he now lay, motionless.

Detective Kevin Ryan took careful detail in looking Royce over. He knew Beckett would do know less for Ryan if their positions were swapped and someone he cared about was lying where Royce was. While noticing Royce's wallet wasn't touched and his money and ID were left unasked, he moved on to the papers sticking out of his inside jacket pocket. He reached into the pocket and pulled out the folded papers. He saw that they were two letters and they were both addressed to different people. One was to Beckett and one to Castle. From the looks of them, the letters seemed to have nothing to do with the case, though, to be honest, Ryan never opened them.

While it went against everything he ever learned about crime scenes and evidence found at them, he pocketed the letter addressed to Castle and slid the other one back into his jacket pocket, making sure it wouldn't go unnoticed by the next detective, knowing very well the next detective would be Beckett. He'd call Castle tonight and let him know what was going on, and also ask him where to send the letter from Royce.

Ryan and Esposito had already finished going over the body before Beckett showed up. They'd gotten a good start leaving before her but they still weren't expecting her to show up already.

Beckett made it to the crime scene in record time. Even if she hadn't used the gumball to announce to the rest of the drivers that she was indeed, NYPD and in a hurry, her timing would have been impressive. Which, given the circumstances, she should have done instead. There wasn't really a need for any rush in most of the cases she worked. Yes, getting justice not just for the victim but for the family as well as society was important, but let's face it, the body isn't going anywhere. There is nothing to be done to save the person who has already passed. So, on normal days she wouldn't have used the gumball, on most cases she didn't feel this kind of remorse. This was different. The person dead had been like family to her. He deserved more than the cold concrete where he lay. So she used the gumball, the sirens, the whole nine yards. Castle, had he been around, would have been giddy from the ride over had the vehicle not had such somber passengers and the accompaniment of sadness.

Once she had parked the car and started her way to the crime scene, Lanie came walking up after her and tried to steer her away from Royce's remains.

"Beckett honey, you don't want to see him like this."

"I've got to Lanie. I can't just walk away."

Lanie gave a short nod and stepped out of the way, she knew nothing she did would stop Beckett from seeing Royce, this one last time.

She had steeled herself before approaching him, talking a few moments to acknowledge and remember him as he was before he was killed.

Beckett knelt down next to the body and noticed right away he was shot twice. He had blood dried onto his pant leg where his leg had been shot and blood had only recently stopped oozing out from his upper body.

Going over and doing a check on him, she noticed something sticking out of his inside jacket pocket. She emptied everything in the pocket out and glanced at it, making sure no one noticed her doing so. There was an envelope with her name on it. Though it went against protocol, she slid the letter from him into her pocket and didn't catalog it. She was pretty sure it didn't pertain to the case and she didn't want others to see what he had to say.

After giving a silent goodbye and a squeeze of his lifeless hand, she rose back up to her feet and walked back to where Lanie was standing.

Without even having to look at her Lanie knew Beckett was a wreck. She was a controlled wreck, but, a wreck nonetheless. She waited until Beckett came close enough and then Lanie wrapped her in a hug.

"Beckett I'm so sorry."

Beckett hugged her back and was relieved for the support.

"Thanks Lanie."

After composing herself she told Lanie,

"I'm going to go talk to the guys and see what they've found."

* * *

_-Thanks for reading, I appreciate the follows and favorites this story had received, almost 300 follows. Reviews are encouraged, I'll even encourage conversations with me in pm's, this can be about most anything, I don't mind making new friends. _

_If you're still reading this fic then, until next chapter._

_-MB_

TBC


	13. Turner and Hooch

**Chapter 13: Turner and Hooch**

_(A heads up that this was posted at like one am so there are likely to be some grammatical errors but I wanted to have it posted before work tomorrow. Well before work today now, yikes, so here it is.)_

_Thanks for reading._

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. I used some dialogue from the show but switched it up in some spots. Dialgue that is word for word is in no way my own. And any similarities to canon are also not mine. Though all mistakes are mine._**

* * *

Esposito comes walking up to Detective Ryan while holding the murder weapon in his right hand. As Espo nears Ryan he swiftly brings the weapon into better view and states,

"Hey Ryan, I found the murder weapon around the corner laying in the trash."

Ryan gives the cheap street gun a good look over and agrees,

"Yeah, this gun was most definitely fired recently. And it looks like Royce's shooter took the time to empty the ammo out before dumping off the gun. Oh, and when I was going over Royce's body I found an airline ticket."

Espo nods his head in affirmation and decides,

"Shooter must have used a silencer to allow himself to get away with this in the daytime. You notice the threading on the barrel?"

"Yeah, you're right. Alright Javi, how about I get uniforms on pavement everywhere in a five block radius and I'll start figuring out where there are video cameras. Do you want to continue taking control of the crime scene here and we'll meet back at the precinct?"

"Sounds good bro, and how about we see if we can't get Beckett looking into the plane ticket."

As Ryan heads for his and Espo's squad car he realizes he should get a ride back to the precinct with Beckett if Espo isn't leaving the scene yet. He scans the crime scene and finds Beckett off to the side reading something. No doubt it's the letter addressed to her from Royce's jacket pocket. He jogs up to her to ask for a lift to the precinct.

"Hey Beckett, think I could get a ride with you back to the precinct? Esposito has everything under control here and I've got some videotape footage to sift through. Maybe once we're back you could look into why Royce had a plane ticket in his pocket, I know you're usually lead detective so I feel kinda weird guiding you in what to do."

Ryan notices Beckett isn't completely with it and tries to reassure her the best he can.

"Beckett, we'll get the guy that did this okay. Javi's finishing up here and I've got guys hitting every store in a five block radius from here. Let's just head back to the precinct, I'll get going on the surveillance footage and you can get the board going so we have something to add to when we get a break in the case."

Beckett orientates her glance to Ryan instead of the blurry view in the distance and shakes her head,

"Alright Ryan, let's head to the precinct."

* * *

Espo shows up back at the precinct to see both Ryan and Beckett hard at work trying to make a break in the case.

"Hey guys any leads yet? I've had the techs scrub over the crime scene twice and though they didn't looked too pleased to be doing the extra work, they complied."

Ryan looks up from his computer screen and takes off his headphones, which he uses to keep distractions to a minimum when he's being king of technology, and looks up to answer Esposito.

"I haven't found anything. No one that looks suspicious or that I could pinpoint as the killer anyway."

Meanwhile, Beckett had finished putting all their initial information of the victim and timeline info onto the murder board. "The guy who shot Royce must have followed Royce from LA here."

"I'll isolate all flights that were from LA to New York in a five hour period and see if that ends up being helpful."

"Sound good Ryan, but what the hell was Royce doing in LA Beckett?"

"I don't know, the last time I saw him I'd put him in handcuffs for being involved in the treasure hunting case. Last I heard of him was about him becoming a bounty hunter."

After some time of searching through flight records Ryan caught a name that pulled a couple of flags.

"Hey guys I think I got something. This guy has a new ID, no credit history and his driver's license number is a fake."

Interested, Beckett countered,

"That's our guy."

"Well, if it is Beckett, you're going to need to get on a plane, because it shows here that Neel McCauley flew back to LA two hours after Royce was shot."

With that bit of information, Beckett makes her way to Captain Montgomery's office, her heels clicking with every confident stride.

"No way Beckett. I'm not sending one of my detective's to Los Angeles to flag down a killer when they aren't point on the case and we have other recent unsolved cases in our lap. Especially not when the person asking is my best homicide detective and is emotionally involved in the case. And we don't have solid evidence to arrest Mr. McCauley."

"But sir, do you expect me to just let it go, let a killer get away with murder? The longer we wait the colder this case gets and less likely it will get solved."

Montgomery sighs and drops his appearance of authority but not the sternness in his voice.

"Beckett, take a day alright? If there gets to be sufficient evidence I will get in contact with the LAPD."

"Do you really think if given information about a murder that happened outside their jurisdiction that they will lift a finger?"

"You're too close to this case Kate!"

I am committed sir. There's a difference, I'm not compromised."

"Kate, you're torn up!"

Beckett stops and takes a minute to breathe. She know this disagreement with Montgomery is at an impasse so she lets her guard down.

"Kate, things with you and Royce didn't end great and so you're more emotionally involved than you would have been had you guys have been able to hug and make up. And I'm sorry to tell you but that's why this case was assigned to Esposito and Ryan to run point on. This isn't your case anymore."

Beckett takes a minute to let his words sink in and she states, "You know captain? You're right. I'm too close to this case… You know, I have some vacation days stored up and I think now would be a good time to take them."

Kate walks out of Montgomery's office and reaches her desk to grab her things. As she's finishing putting her leather jacket on Montgomery reaches her desk.

"I sure hope you're not thinking of doing something reckless Kate."

"No sir", Beckett answers as she secures her purse on her shoulder and turns towards the elevator.

While Beckett had been talking to Montgomery Ryan got a hold of the correct people in order to have the surveillance tapes at La Guardia sent to him. So, since he had to wait for the tapes to be given to him he decided he may as well take a break to get some lunch. As he stands up to leave, his chair squeaking as he gets rises, he asks Esposito if he wants anything.

"Hey Esposito, you want me to pick up anything for you for lunch since I'm going?"

"Ah yeah man, just two of whatever you're getting."

"Alright."

* * *

While Ryan is waiting for his and Esposito's orders to be ready he decides to call Castle.

Castle had landed at Milwaukee airport and successfully grabbed his luggage from the baggage claim as well as make it to his hotel. He had a stop or two listed in Milwaukee and then he was going to travel to Wisconsin's capital to take part in TeslaCon. It just so happened the concierge at his hotel knew all about this newish steampunk event dubbed TeslaCon, and of course, Castle had to adjust his days in Wisconsin to make it fit into his schedule. He learned a thing or two about steampunk while on an earlier case and he was eager to take part.

Castle was just deciding what to do for the rest of his day when his phone staring ringing. He saw it was Ryan calling and promptly answered the phone.

"Hey Ryan, did you know that Wisconsin actually has more lakes than Minnesota? Cool considering Minnesota is known as the Land of 10,000 lakes. I mean it's pretty cool right?"

"Uh Castle, sure, that's ah…"

"What Ryan, you don't like Wisconsin trivia or something? You could wait a few days and I'd have some facts about Iowa for you."

"Uh, no Castle, it's not that, it's… Wait really!? Wisconsin has more lakes than Minnesota?"

"Yeah, I know, and they don't even brag about it, well I guess they do since this guy sitting next to me on the plane ride here told me when he figured out I wasn't from here, real nice guy though. Anyway, what did you call about?"

"Yeah, right. It's about a case we recently got. It's Beckett's training officer, he was murdered Castle."

"Royce, really?! That's horrible, he didn't tell me near enough young Beckett stories. Speaking of Beckett, how's she holding up?"

"I don't really know Castle. Montgomery had Espo and I take point on the case and though it did start off okay, it went downhill. We found out that some guy named Neel McCauley followed Royce from LA to New York, presumably to kill Royce, and then took a flight back to LA."

"Are you serious? Neel McCauley, that's the guy's name? It has to be a fake name."

"What, why do you say that?"

"Because Neel McCauley is Robert Dinero's character in the movie 'Heat'."

"Huh, well we didn't know that but we did know it wasn't his real name. So, after we figured out this McCauley guy took a flight back to LA, Beckett tried to talk Montgomery into letting her go to LA to continue working the case. Montgomery obviously said no because we don't have enough evidence to make anything stick to this guy, and if we did, protocol dictates that we would hand our information over to the people within the correct jurisdiction to take over. So the LAPD would be taking on the case."

"Ah, and I'm sure Beckett reiterated to Montgomery that they wouldn't do near as thorough a job as Beckett and how since it isn't their priority nothing will get done."

"More or less."

"Sounds like Beckett."

"Here's something that doesn't sound like Beckett. When Montgomery took her off the case and said she was too close to it, she agreed. Took some vacation days and left the precinct, just like that."

"Ryan she isn't just going to stop working the case. I know Beckett, she's going to continue working Royce's case with or without Montgomery's approval."

"Yeah, I know Castle. I wanted to call and let you know because of that. I'm not positive what she's thinking about doing but she shouldn't be investigating this alone. She's too invested and she's running at this blindly. Could you call her and see if she'll tell what she's planning?"

Castle exhaled loudly and rubbed his eyes before saying,

"I can't just put my book tour on hold Ryan, and if she isn't going to listen to Montgomery, what makes you think me calling her is gonna help?"

"Because it's you Castle. If anyone can talk sense into her, oddly enough, it's guy who has crazier conspiracy theories than I do."

"Alright well, thanks for keeping me up to date on the case Ryan."

"No problem Castle, hope your book tour is going well."

"Thanks, so far so good."

"And Castle, Royce had something for you in his pocket, if you want I'll send it you in the mail. I think it's a letter or something but I didn't open it."

"Oh, uh, okay, can you open it up and send me a picture of it and just keep the letter for me until I get back?"

"Yeah, I'll do that Castle."

"Thanks Ryan."

Castle hung up and tried to think of a way that him calling again wouldn't sound like it was because someone at the twelfth tipped him off. He figured maybe if he was able to keep quiet that Beckett might offer up the information willingly. Without overthinking anything, he pushed call.

* * *

Though Beckett tried to keep most things in her life organized, her suitcase was not one of those things. She just tossed her clothes and other essentials in a suitcase and called it a day. Beckett spent some time on her laptop at home searching for a nonstop flight to LA from La Guardia but to no avail. Instead of wasting more time finding a flight she liked, she booked one with a layover. She wasn't psyched about the idea but she thought, tough.

Her flight was for five in the afternoon which meant with the layover included, she wouldn't have much time to dive into the case once she got settled in LA. She still needed a place to stay and that was next on her list. Now that her things were packed and ready to go for the impromptu trip to LA, she had a little time to relax before heading to La Guardia, if only she could actually relax. She took the time to glance at the letter Royce left her. She told herself she wouldn't read the whole thing right away, if she read it in part then she still had more to hear from him. At least for now. Logically, she started from the beginning;

_Dear Kate, I bet I've written this letter a hundred times. Someday I might actually send it. There's no excuse for what I did, especially what I did to you. But I'm on a righteous path now, and I hope one day that path earns me your forgiveness. _

Instead of continuing to read the letter, she folded it up to save it for later.

Beckett had sat down on her couch and put her feet up and not five minutes later her phone was blaring. Already having accumulated three missed calls she figured maybe she should just let this one go to voicemail too. But when she recognized the ringtone and that it was different than the ringtone for anyone else who calls her, she knew it was Castle. He was the only person in her contacts whose ringtone was the "Ghostbusters" theme song. She still wasn't sure exactly how to get ringtones on her phone that weren't one of the default tones so of course, that means Castle was messing with her phone since the last time he called and her phone wasn't on silent.

Beckett picked her phone up off the coffee table before it could go to voicemail and pressed accept.

"Hey Castle."

"Hey Beckett, like your new ringtone?"

"Very classy Castle, I can't see how the "Ghostbusters" playing while I'm in interrogation or tracking down a suspect would make people not take me seriously."

"That's what I thought Detective. I mean, if you're openly not afraid of no ghosts, what else could you not be afraid of?"

Beckett bit the bottom of her lip to keep from smiling as she rolled her eyes. However, she realized that, duh, she's on the phone and he can't see her so what does it matter? But then she thought of that stupid ringtone he put on her phone and she laughed, loud enough for Castle to hear.

"Hah, I knew it would make you laugh Beckett."

"You got me Castle, I laughed."

After she said it she realized how true it was. Here she was, trying to not dwell on everything she learned today, that Royce is gone, and nothing had been working. And yet, not even three minutes into a phone call with Castle and she was laughing, like for a minute she could forget she was supposed to be sad and be happy instead.

"So, how's the book tour going?"

"So far so good, no hiccups in the planning. I even manage to schedule my signings a little different while in Wisconsin so I can make an appearance at some steampunk convention called TeslaCon. It hasn't been going on very long but it seems like a pretty cool event. I'll be signing autographs and doing a meet and greet sort of thing while I'm there, which is a little weird seeing none of my work is real steampunkish but why question it."

"Sounds like you're managing to have a little bit of fun then."

"Yeah, I am. How are things at the precinct?"

"They were going well, I was in the box this morning trying to get a confession out of someone when you called or I would have answered."

"So you break the guy or is sitting in the zoo lockup as we speak?"

"I took him back to holding because I could tell he wasn't ready to budge yet, but I expect Ryan and Esposito are going to be taking point on that case."

"Oh?"

"Come on Castle, I know someone called you okay?"

"Detective Beckett, I never… How's everything holding up?"

"Everything's fine Castle, I'm fine."

"The hell you are Kate. As soon I heard Montgomery told you were too close to the case and you agreed with little objection, I knew something else was going on inside your head."

"I'm just taking some vacation days, that's all."

"Right, it's a little difficult to believe that a person who never takes sick days, let alone vacation days, has suddenly decided to take leave in the middle of an investigation into the killer of someone they knew."

Beckett tried to think of something to tell Castle that wouldn't get him to think he had to be involved since he seemed to be having a good time on his book tour. She was a big girl, she didn't need Castle around to help her out with this. Even if he'd still been around when it happened she's convinced herself she wouldn't have told Castle her plans to fly out to LA anyway.

"So Beckett, when's your flight?"

Beckett scrunched up her face in confusion. How could Castle know?! No one else knew she was going except herself.

"Excuse me?"

"Really Beckett? You figure out the guy who killed Royce flew back to LA today and you don't expect me to figure out that you took time off so you'd have time to go rogue on this. Just remember to take it easy Kate, get justice for Royce the right way. I should get going though, I have to get a hold of Paula to finalize my plans for the rest of my book tour. Oh, and I'll text the information for some hotels in close range to LAX."

"Thanks for calling Castle, and thanks for the coffee, personal barista, and everything else."

"Anytime Beckett. And though I know how bad of a pun it is, you really should have said thanks a latte. Not just thanks."

With another head-shaking laugh Beckett agrees, "I guess next time I will, bye Castle."

Castle did have to call Paula to finalize his book tour plans, but it was more or less to put them on hold for the time being. After calling Paula, Castle started searching for flights to LA.

* * *

It had been a seemingly long flight, especially with the layover and so she was extremely grateful that Castle had sent her information about possible lodging. She made a reservation at the first hotel on his list. She picked a standard room, nothing special. She wasn't in LA to enjoy the scenery or the finer things in the rooms on the upper levels. However, when she went to check in and gave the man at the service desk her information he told her he was sorry for the inconvenience and promptly explained all rooms were booked except for the Presidential Suite. Luckily, he then told her that since the mix up was the hotel's fault, she was welcome to stay in the Presidential Suite for no extra charge than one of their standard rooms.

Once she was settled in to her nice Presidential Suite, which she had to admit was much a lot easier to get accustomed to than she would have thought, she heard someone knock on the door.

She looked through the eye-hole to see a familiar face staring back at her,

"Castle, what're ya doing here?"

With a cocky smile on his face and luggage off to his side, Castle explained,

"Well, my credit card is the one comping this room so ya know, unpacking my bag."

Beckett looked at him incredulously and questioned,

"Wait, what do you mean your credit card? They had me put one on file when I checked in. How'd you know I was staying here?"

"And that's cute that you thought they would let you stay in the presidential suite when you only paid for a one bedroom. I called earlier and told them that if one Miss Kathryn Beckett shows up asking for a room to make sure she gets the Presidential Suite and promptly gave them my information. I also may have mentioned a decent tip if they called me the moment you arrived."

"So you're the reason the front desk guy said he had to go take care of something urgent, leaving me to wait for him to come back."

"You have to admit, waiting a few extra minutes to be upgraded to these digs was worth it, and free of charge might I add."

"Well free for me anyway Castle. But how'd you know I was here?"

"Nicely done, reminding me of the cabbage I had to harvest to get this view. And I knew you were here because I gave you hotel information and I took a guess that you'd choose a hotel off of that list."

"Seriously Castle, cabbage, harvest?"

"Oh come on, like you've never used the word cabbage as an alternative to dough, moolah, simoleons."

"Yeah I have once or twice, but I usually think money will suffice and besides, you make it sound weird."

Castle smirks and asks, "But sexy weird right?" as he waggles his eyebrows.

Beckett starts smirking too and cajoles,

"Not so sure weird and sexy make a good case for you when used in the same sentence."

"Well, I'm the writer, so maybe I know something you don't."

They both stand there not speaking for a little while until Beckett speaks up...

"Look Castle, I really want to let you know how kinda irresponsible it is to bail on your book tour, even for being a kid on a sugar rush, but..."

Castle furrows his eyebrows and then relaxes them so he can make only one of them go up when he asks her,

"But what Beckett?"

Beckett waits a few seconds to respond, trying not to lose the courage to actually say what's on her mind. To tell him how she feels, and then she admits,

"...I've really needed my partner..."

Castle gives Kate a sad smile as he grabs the handle of his suitcase with his right hand and brings his left arm around to give her a one armed hug as he inquires,

"Turner and Hooch right?"

Beckett smiles and accepts his hug, having needed the embrace more than either her nor Castle knew and, though she's starting to think that instead of Turner and Hooch, they may be starting to remind her of Scully and Mulder, she answers him,

"Right, always."

* * *

_AN: Thanks to those who are sticking with the story though I don't get much downtime to update let alone write. It means a lot to me. _

_For those who celebrate it, Merry belated Christmas. And for everyone, Happy Holidays._

_TBC_

_-MB _


	14. Dorothy and Toto

Chapter 14: _Dorothy and Toto_

_Hey everyone, it's been a while, *cough, cough*. Hope you enjoy the new chapter and I hope to update sometime maybe within the same month. I know, I know, high hopes right?_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own Castle. Anything similar to canon and the show in general are not mine and do not claim them as such. _

_Anyway, onto the chapter._

* * *

Castle closes the door behind him and turns around, taking in his surroundings.

"Wow, this is quite the place you've got here Beckett."

Though she isn't crazy about the fact that Castle paid for the room and never gave her the chance to pay for at least her own share, she forgets about it knowing that in his mind it was a kind gesture. And she can't deny the fact that the room is spectacular.

"Yeah, I'll admit, it does beat being stuck in a one room where the bed almost touches every wall."

Castle finishes looking around and orients himself to face Beckett once again,

"I knew you'd see it my way. So, which room are you all set up in so I know where to put my things?"

Beckett points to the direction of the room that's off to the right, "You can take that room, I've already put my stuff away in the other one."

Castle nods and then grabs his suitcase from off the floor. He starts walking towards his designated room and announces, "I'm just going to get situated and call Alexis to check in and let her know I'm not in Wisconsin anymore. Dang, too bad my previous stop wasn't in Topeka."

Beckett laughs and responds to him before he reaches his room and becomes out of earshot,

"Wisconsin isn't too far off actually Castle. The word premiere of _The Wizard of Oz _was actually in Oconomowoc Wisconsin."

Castle stops in his tracks and turns to face Beckett.

"Seriously? That's so cool you know that… And it's also kind of hot."

Beckett nods her head towards the first part of his response and continues,

"It's true. They wanted to know how the film would go over in the Midwest and Oconomowoc happened to be the first place it was viewed."

"Alright Dorothy, I'm going to go put my stuff away like I said I would and then I'm going to figure out how to pronounce that city without sounding like the little fish in _Finding Nemo _ trying to say anemone."

Beckett laughs and shakes her head,

"Good luck with that Toto."

Reaching the entrance to his room he sighs, complaining in a dramatically Martha type fashion, just loud enough for Kate to hear him,

"Again with the dog as a partner thing."

* * *

He heard Kate laughing as he made his way to the bed and set his suitcase down. He quickly unpacks his clothes and put them in the dresser. He then grabs his laptop out of his carry-on bag and searches through the bag for the outlet cord so he could plug it in. Once he has his laptop charging and has put away all his other things he picks up his phone to call his daughter, seeing that it was already past dinner in Los Angeles so it was even later in New York. As he waits for Alexis to answer her phone he sat down on the edge of his bed. After the third ring he hears a familiar voice fill his ear and he instantly smiles.

"Hey dad, how's the book tour going?" questions Alexis.

"You know sweetheart, the book tour was going great but I decided to cut it short."

While anticipating Alexis's response Castle couldn't help but hear a slight bit of enthusiasm in Alexis's tone when she asks,

"Oh, so you're going to be coming home sooner?!"

Castle huffs out a small breath and stammers, "Well not exactly Pumpkin, I cut the book tour short but I still won't be home yet, I-"

"You cut you're book tour short but you're not coming home yet?"

He could sense that Alexis wasn't angry, she just wanted to know what was going on.

"No, something more important came up and I had to postpone the rest of the book tour for a later date."

"Is everything okay dad, are you-"

"-I'm fine Alexis, I swear. I had to cut the book tour short because Beckett's training officer was killed and she flew out to Los Angeles to help solve the case."

"Alright dad, I understand, I'm glad you can be there to have her back."

He smiled again, wondering how it was he could have such an amazing daughter.

"I'm glad I can be here to have her back too Pumpkin."

Switching the subject, Castle decides to inquire about Alexis's upcoming chemistry exam.

"Have you found any decent hours of quiet to study for your next chemistry exam with Titania, queen of the fairies, rehearsing?"

Castle could hear Alexis giggling over the line.

"Actually dad, I have been able to study and Gram is not that bad and you know it."

On the other side of the country, Alexis crinkles her nose and elaborates, "She just really gets into her characters."

Castle counters, "Oh yes, I'm quite aware of that. For a whole month of my childhood she would only answer to the name of her role Golde, mind you she also only spoke in terms of song lines from the play."

"Gram mentioned before that she played Golde in _Fiddler on the Roof _once."

"Funny that when she mentions she was in a play she never gives the gory details of rehearsing. Speaking of Gram, how is she doing?" asks Castle.

"Gram is doing pretty good. She's out with some of her acting friend's tonight but rest assured that she hasn't thrown any parties here while you've been gone," Alexis chided.

"Hey, how'd you know I'd ask about that?" Castle joked.

"I guess I'm just that good." Alexis teased back.

Castle leaned over a little and rested his arms on his legs as he challenged his daughter,

"Okay, if you're that good, what am I thinking right now?"

A devious grin etched across Alexis's face as she answered,

"You're thinking that you aren't paying me enough to pretend that you're having Gram watch me when really, you have me watching Gram and making sure the loft is still standing when you get home."

Castle let out a chuckle as he confirmed, "Touché. As payment for such tasks, I demand you go grab yourself a bowl of ice cream… And don't forget the cool whip."

"I won't dad. I hope everything goes well and that detective Beckett is holding up okay."

"She'll be alright Pumpkin. Goodnight, I love you," assured Castle.

Alexis yawned and replied, "See you later dad, I love you too."

After ending the call he stands up and stretches. Before reentering the main room to the suite he goes to grab his pajamas out of the dresser and then makes his way to the bathroom to take a shower.

* * *

While Castle goes to settle into his room and calls his daughter, Beckett figures she may as well go change into her pajamas and call at least text the guys to see if they have any updates on Royce's case. She finds a pair of pajamas and then types out a quick text to Esposito.

_Hey Espo, just checking in to see if there are any updates on the case and to let you guy know that I've made it to LA._

With that, she sets her phone on the bed and makes her way into her room's bathroom to change.

After changing she returns to her bed to see if Espo has replied to her text.

_Nothing new to report on the case. We are calling it a night and will be back at it first thing tomorrow, you should too Beckett. You've had a long flight and the case will be waiting for you tomorrow. –Espo_

She writes a simple reply to his text.

_Alright, thanks guys. Talk to you and Ryan tomorrow. –Beckett_

She stands by her bed debating if she should go back into the main room yet. She doesn't want to overhear Castle's conversation with Alexis, though she knows he wouldn't mind if she did, and she also doesn't want Castle to think she's waiting for her and then cut his conversation with his daughter short. Instead of going back into the main room right away, she's drawn to her bag on her bed that has Royce's letter in it. She still hasn't been able to read through the whole letter in its entirety so she reaches inside her purse to find the letter. She takes it out and starts to unfold it.

_Dear Kate,_

_I bet I've written this letter a hundred times. Someday I might actually send it. There's no excuse for what I did. Especially what I did to you. But I'm on a righteous path now, and I hope someday that path earns me your forgiveness. Even if I never earn forgiveness, I want to apologize. I let you down Beckett. Don't pretend I didn't because we both know I did. I lost myself for a while, lost my moral compass and it took me running into you with that case to even realize it. I'm sorry. I have never had anyone to answer to, nobody that I had as a guide or reason to keep myself on the straight and narrow. People I've worked with in the force always had someone, whether it was their wife, kids, or some other kind of support to keep them right. And until I was your training officer I never had someone like that. A person that I wanted to do right by, set an example. I know you didn't need an example to be set for you but it was like you were a person for me to answer to at the time. Who knows, maybe without you entering the academy when you did I would have done more questionable things sooner. I don't know. This is by no means an excuse for my actions, just me trying to justify my thoughts when it happened and me thinking back on things._

_If we never talk again just know this, for what it's worth kid, I'm proud of you. I remember where you were when I met you and the experiences you had at such a young age would have broken most people. But not you. You're still standing strong. You may have withstood some cracks but you're still strong as ever. You may not always feel strong and put together but you are. Never doubt that. _

_And now for the hard part…_

Beckett manages to make it through a good portion of her letter before putting it down. She wipes at her eyes and folds the letter back up. When she first glanced at this letter on the plane ride to LA she had only read the first couple sentences. She hadn't read through it all then because she didn't want to have a new lead on the case when she was literally up in the stratosphere and unable to do anything. Now while trying to read the letter, she had to stop. She realized it was not going to be pertinent to the case at all and, in order to try treating this case like just any other case, she had to distance herself as much as she could. And in order to leave her emotions out of the equation she needed to not finish reading the letter. It would have to wait so she could focus on the case itself.

She lets out a few shaky breaths before placing the letter back into her purse. Then she waits a few minutes before going into the main room so she can regain her composure.

* * *

Castle returns to his bedroom wearing pajamas and freshly showered. He grabs his phone off the nightstand to check his email for Ryan's message when he notices he has a missing call. He unlocks his phone to see who tried to call him and swears when he sees the name on the screen; Gina. Oops, he already spoke to Paula and explained everything but he failed to call Gina as well. He sighs and rubs his hand down his face as he pushes call.

"Are you kidding me Richard!?" Gina chastises as she answers the phone.

Castle replies, "And hello to you too Gina."

"Really? You up can cancel the book tour and you don't even think to let me know," huffs his ex-wife.

"I called Paula and everything is already taken care of Gina," informs Castle.

"This is unbelievable Rick. You're the one who suggested the book tour and now you just up and cancel. It makes you look bad. It makes Black Pawn and-"

Castle cuts her off before she can finish her sentence and he discloses, "Let me guess, it makes you look bad right? And as for me looking bad Gina, I don't care. I postponed the rest of the book tour because there was something more important for me to do and it couldn't wait. If you don't like it then tough, you don't have to like my decisions and you don't get to criticize them when you don't have all the facts."

"Okay fine, if it's someone that important to you then I apologize for calling you ready to argue with you about it. As long as you keep making your deadlines for the new book everything is fine," announces Gina.

"Why do you assume it's about someone?" inquires Castle.

Gina scoffs, "Oh please Richard, the only times you are ever adamant about things like this is when it's about someone you care a great deal for. Well, I guess we'll talk sometime after you get back, tell detective Beckett hello for me will you?"

"Yeah okay. Goodbye," Castle concludes.

He hangs up the phone and checks his email, finding a new message from Ryan amongst the plethora of junk email. He opens it and saves the picture of the letter. Once it saves he types out a quick thanks to Ryan and closes his email so he can read the letter.

_Dear Castle, _

_I know you're probably wondering what on earth I'd be sending you a letter for, and I'm also pretty sure deep down you already know the answer. As much as she most likely pretends to not need you, she does. I could tell when I met you. At first, I was a bit skeptical. I just couldn't see 'Detective Beckett' agreeing to let a writer follow her around. Nor did I think she wouldn't flinch or yell when I heard Esposito joke later, calling you "her writer". I was surprised to see someone who plays so much by the books to have a partner not even equipped with a badge, but I started to notice she needs you around when she kept bringing you up. We were talking about something from a long time ago when she said, "You know, that reminds me of when Castle…" But I really saw it when we were in the cemetery. She trusts you. That's how I know she needs you. You didn't have to tell her you were going to throw that dirt in the other guys' face but she knew you were going to do something and she went along with it. _

_Detective Beckett doesn't just go along with things. So for her to just go along with something you plan to do, she has to trust you. And I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on you when I say that she doesn't trust easy. With life experiences like hers it doesn't come as a surprise. And I know you know all about her past. She wouldn't trust you if she hadn't been able to tell you about her mom or about her dad, all of it. She needs a partner like you, you seem to achieve making her to laugh when she needs it most. _

_-Royce _

* * *

After finishing reading the letter Royce left him, Castle places his phone in his pocket. He then makes his way out into the main room of the Presidential Suite. When he looks up he sees Beckett deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about Beckett?"

At the sound of her last name, Beckett focused her gaze on Castle though she hadn't heard what he had said.

"What did you say Castle?"

Castle had walked the rest of the way to the couch she was sitting on and leaned against the arm opposite Beckett.

"I asked what is you were thinking about that has you so focused on that one spot on the wall over there."

Beckett sighs and slides her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"The case."

Castle nods in understanding, taking a moment before suggesting,

"Hey Beckett, don't worry about the case right now. We can't do anything more tonight anyway. Any place we could think to go and check out, even if we had a lead, they're going to be closed."

Beckett looks up towards Castle reluctantly. She knows Castle's suggestion is more logical compared to her want to stay up and work on the case, not sleeping until it's solved. But she feels a bit desperate. This case has to be solved. She already has her mom's case on her mind, she can't have Royce's case on her shoulders too. It's too much. If she doesn't solve this case soon she's afraid she's going to fall down the rabbit hole again. But she knows Castle's right so she stops fighting the feeling of sleep that keeps making her rub at her eyes.

"You're probably right Castle."

Castle nods his head in agreement and adds,

"Exactly, let's just go to bed and sleep on it."

Beckett raises her eyebrows and looks to Castle, noticing the way he worded things.

Castle places his right hand over his chest and creases his eyebrows, taking in an exaggerated breath as he exclaims,

"Separately! Detective Beckett, tsk tsk tsk." As he finishes commenting he smirks and situates to the edge of the couch, getting ready to stand.

Beckett tries to hide her smile but fails so she shakes her head and rolls her eyes as she scoffs and says "Right Castle".

Castle grins, which makes the skin by his eyes crinkle as he playfully questions her, "So, you admit it, I'm right?"

Beckett nudges her shoulder into his and quips, "Just this once you happen to be right, but don't get used to it writer boy."

The smile disappears from his face as he stands up and he exclaims, "Hey, writer man!"

Beckett rolls her eyes again and concedes, "Okay, whatever writer man."

After a moment of silence Castle asks, "So are you going to be going off to bed or are you going to be unable to sleep thinking about the case while you're trying not to think about the case?"

Beckett releases a breath of air and answers him, "Truthfully Castle, the latter response sounds more like me. But don't worry about it, at least one of us should get a night of rest."

Castle doesn't say anything more, he just nods his head and turns going off in the direction of his room. He enters his room and flips on the light. He grabs his phone out of his pocket and makes a quick phone call. After hanging up, instead of heading toward his bed to go to sleep, he grabs his laptop and heads back out into the main room.

* * *

To say the least, she was a little surprised that Castle hadn't even told her goodnight. Or as he would say, "until tomorrow." She figured by now he would have already been in bed so she is surprised when she sees him entering back into the main room.

"You going to stay up and write a little bit?" Beckett wonders.

Castle smiles and says "Something like that," as he sets his laptop down. A few moments later they hear someone knock on the door.

Beckett gets up from her place on the couch and follows Castle to the door. When he opens the door, a guy who works at the hotel says, "Room service."

Just as Beckett was about to correct the room service guy Castle replies first, "Thanks Maurice, much appreciated."

Castle hands Maurice a tip and tells him to have a nice night. He closes and relocks the suite door and then starts back towards the living room area.

"What's all this?" Beckett asks.

Castle sets the tray down that has a silver lid on top and opens up his laptop. He ques up the correct movie and then pats the couch next to him, gesturing for Beckett to join him. Once she has sat down next to him, he proclaims,

"Seeing that you aren't going to sleep much tonight anyway, I figured, why not watch a movie to pass up some of the time?"

As he finishes speaking, he lifts the lid of the tray up to reveal popcorn, milk duds, sno-caps, raisinets, junior mints, and bottle caps.

Beckett smiles as she averts her gaze from the pile of movie candy and rests her eyes on Castle to thank him, "This is great Castle."

Castle holds a finger up in the air as if to say "but wait there's more," and he hits play on the movie.

The beginning credits roll and then they see the start of what appears to be a black and white film and the underscore of _Somewhere over the Rainbow _plays_._

She looks from the laptop screen to Castle and points out, "_The Wizard of Oz."_

Castle shrugs his shoulders and smirks as he responds, "Now it's perfect."

Beckett grabs a handful of popcorn and settles in a little closer to Castle before agreeing, "Yeah, it is."

Just as she decides not to add it to the end of her response she hears Castle mention, "You were going to say Toto at the end of that sentence, weren't you?"

Beckett laughs and places her hand on his before saying, "Maybe I was, just watch the movie Castle."

"Yes Dorothy," Castles teases as he shifts his gaze away from her face to the laptop screen instead, and as he focuses back in on the movie, he flips his hand underneath hers and feels her slip her fingers in between his own.

* * *

_Thanks for reading as always. I appreciate every review, follow, and favorite (it's a nice way of seeing if people are still reading.) It's still a bit crazy in my corner of the world, I transferred to a new college and work has been super busy. I wish I had more time to write this story instead of writing essays and studying for class, but alas, I don't. _

_I did not get a chance to really proofread this yet, I wanted to just post it once I finished it._

_I hope to post sometime somewhat soon? My spring break is in like two weeks, maybe I'll have time for a chapter then._

_-MRB_


	15. I Think You Missed

_A/N-_

(All mistakes are mine.)

_Disclaimer: I don't own Castle._

_I want to specify that there are some lines in this chapter that I have quoted verbatim though I have put a spin on others. I am not taking any credit whatsoever for these parts in my story, this chapter is quite case heavy as there is a lot to cover (though it is not all case stuff). Although I took some lines and added to or tweaked them to my own liking, I really love this episode of Castle and so, I felt that doing the same thing to all other lines similar to the script would have been a disservice. _

_I hope you enjoy the chapter. _

_Now, "Onward and upwards"._

* * *

The next morning, Beckett and Castle get an early start on the investigation. Figuring out the address of where Royce stayed while he was in Los Angeles, they show up to see if anything would turn up there, Beckett riding shotgun and Castle driving. Once they arrive at the correct address, Castle and Beckett are met with an elaborate gate and Beckett hits the talk button on the panel. She explains to the person on the other end of the speaker the reason Castle and her are at the gate. As they wait for someone to answer Beckett's request to let them inside, she comments,

"I never would have pictured Royce staying in a place like this, it's-"

Castle nods his head in agreement even though Beckett cannot find the words to finish her sentence and he adds,

"I know what you're thinking, I mean I didn't know him nearly as well as you but even I think, this seems a bit too much for him."

Just then they hear a voice pick up on the speaker announcing the gates are unlocking and they may go inside.

"The owner says it's okay for you to come in, seeing that you're friends of Royce's, it'll just be a second and I'll unlock the gate. Just come on in and head towards the backyard, the owner will meet you."

Castle and Beckett reach the front entrance to the oversized house and make their way to the backyard. They did not expect to have the owner of the residency to be 'the' Gene Simmons. After speaking with him, they learn of a woman whom Royce had been in contact with and they went in pursuit of this latest lead. Beckett and Castle figure out the woman's name to be Violet Young and that she's an actress, Beckett then decides to track down the woman's agent by phone to see where to find Ms. Young.

Both Castle and Beckett are walking back towards the gate they came in through, Beckett already dialing the number for Violet Young's agent. A few rings and someone picks up on the other end. Beckett begins talking to the agent to find out any new information she can and they soon end up back on the street side of the gate. While Beckett is immersed in conversation, Castle takes out his phone as well.

He figures there's nothing he can do at the moment, so instead of looking bored waiting for her to hang up the phone, he may as well be enjoying the newly purchased app on his phone. Castle easily becomes engrossed playing the app, time passing by without him noticing. He's so glad he messed around with his phone while waiting to board his last minute flight to LA or he may never have stumbled upon this little gem.

Beckett hangs up her phone after speaking to Violet Young's agent and informs Castle,

"Violet's agent told me that she's filming a movie at Zenith Studios."

Castle whips his head up from his phone, while he simultaneously loses the game, to face Beckett as he answers excitedly,

"Ooh! I know how to get there. Zenith Studios is where they're filming _Nikki Heat. _This is perfect, they've been trying to get me to fly out here to check everything out and now I can stop by and do just that."

Beckett sighs lightly and confirms,

"If you know how to get there then I guess you may as well drive."

Retrieving the keys from his jacket pocket he exclaims,

"Wow, twice in one day. In LA for less than forty-eight hours and I've already driven more in our partnership here than our whole partnership combined in New York."

Beckett reaches the passenger side of the car, shakes her head and rolls her eyes as she answers him back,

"Don't get used to it Castle. You're the one who rented the convertible and I'm not on duty here, back in New York it's my car and I'm the cop."

Now sitting in the driver's seat, Castle scrunches his face into a frown and as he clips his seatbelt in place he looks at Beckett while complaining,

"Don't ruin my moment of triumphant success with your bout of logical explanations."

Not really put out or offended in the least, Castle puts the key into the ignition and starts the car, his right hand then moving to the shifter. Before he's able to put the car into gear though, Beckett moves her hand towards his and gives it a slight squeeze before letting go and consoling,

"Sorry Castle, next time I'll try to remember to not let my logic get in the way of your fun."

Though the quip from Beckett isn't lost on him, he's smiling more from the sentiment of her action. He remembers their conversation from before he left on his book tour. How they decided to wait for him to come back from his book tour before they gave their relationship a try. And for the most part, he's glad they made that decision. At the time, he had needed more time for everything to go back normal, not to their previous normal but back to a new normal, if that makes sense. His idea of things going back to normal but not normal didn't make complete sense to him either, until now. This. This is the new normal he wants the two of them to have, together.

Without thinking about it any longer, seeing that taking another second to think may make his next move seem out of place, he turns his head towards her and places a kiss on her cheek. It may be a small thing to do, but it's a start and another step towards their new normal.

Beckett is taken by surprise for a second and she turns her head to face Castle as he is resituating in his seat so he can start driving. Castle shifts the car into drive and pulls out onto the street. As he puts the signal on to turn right, Beckett discloses with a sweet smile,

"I think you missed."

Castle's eyebrows raise in genuine surprise as he tries to figure out what she's referring to.

"What? What do you mean I missed? I have to turn right at the next intersection to get to Zenith Studios."

Beckett smiles and lets out a small laugh before shaking her head and clarifying,

"I'm not criticizing you on your driving skills Rick. I mean, you missed when you kissed me. My lips are here," she taps her lips with her index finger as Castle takes a second to glance at her before returning his eyes to the road.

Slowing down for the turn he swallows and then answers while waggling his eyebrows,

"Duly noted, I'll save that information for next time."

* * *

While at Zenith Studios, Castle learns that Natalie Rhodes, the actress cast to play _Nikki Heat, _is in rehab. As he converses with Tony, the money-grubbing bastard, Beckett goes off to figure out about Violet Young's whereabouts. Upon Beckett's return to the set of _Nikki Heat, _she informs Castle that Violet did not show up for filming today and that she got Violet's address from her agent. Before leaving to see if they would have more luck finding Violet if they went to her house, Castle introduces Beckett to Tony as well as the guys set to play Ochoa and Raley, Espo and Ryan respectively.

Castle and Beckett are on their way back to the convertible when they hear Tony exclaim,

"It was nice seeing you again Rick, and it was great to meet the real _Nikki Heat _Detective Beckett."

Both Castle and Beckett acknowledge and reciprocate Tony's goodbye before carrying on a conversation of their own.

Castle is the first one to break the silence and states,

"Creepy right? I mean these guys could b-"

"-be the twins to Espo and Ryan?"

Castle looks towards Beckett and shivers as he agrees,

"Exactly I mean it's just-"

"-creepy?" Beckett announces before Castle has a chance to say it first.

"Yeah, creepy. Kind of like you finishingallmysentences," Castle rushes to add with a cheek-eating grin before Beckett, once again, finishes his sentence for him.

Beckett laughs at Castle's rushed attempt to conclude his thought and makes her way to the car.

On the car ride to Violet Young's house, Beckett gets a phone call from Esposito. This time it's Beckett who's driving the car so she instructs Castle to answer her phone and put it on speaker.

"Hey Espo, you're on speaker. What've you got about the case?" Beckett explains, keeping her focus on the road.

Before Esposito has a chance to update them, Castle and Beckett hear a very familiar medical examiner's voice. While listening in to Lanie over the line, Beckett hears Castle slightly rejoice next to her, saying something or other about being glad to hear Lanie's voice and not that of Perlmutter.

A small scuffle is heard over the line as Lanie tries to grab the phone from Esposito. She successfully obtains the phone and announces to Beckett and Castle,

"Esposito isn't the only one here, in my morgue no less."

Beckett and Castle both acknowledge the medical examiner with similar 'hey Lanie's', and then listen to what new information there is. Lanie informs them that the bullets retrieved from Royce's gunshot wounds are dissolving.

"Beckett, I don't know the reason behind it but the bullets retrieved from Royce's gunshot wounds are beginning to dissolve. We're trying to figure out the reason and once we do, I'll get back to you," Lanie divulges.

Without any additional information to give Castle and Beckett, Lanie and Espo wrap up the conversation and say their goodbyes.

"Talk to you guys later as soon as I get any more information," Esposito assures them while Lanie mentions,

"Same here, I'll call with any new information, you guys do the same."

Beckett replies to both Lanie and Esposito,

"We will guys," after which Castle says his goodbye and ends the call.

* * *

They reach Violet Young's place without so much as a wrong turn and find themselves at her doorstep without a way to get in, seeing that no one seems to be inside to answer Beckett's knocks. Going against her normal professionalism, she decides to pick the lock and enter anyway. Meanwhile, neither Castle nor Beckett notice the older woman across the street watching them attempt to go into Violet Young's place. Once Beckett successfully gets the door open, she motions for Castle to follow her inside. Her prompting seems to get Castle partially out of this day dream look he is currently wearing and he follows Beckett inside.

When inside, they find a voice recording, which the only thing on it is a man saying the phrase 'the power of sound compels you'. Along with the voice recording is the knowledge of a flight confirmation sitting right next to the recorder, informing them that Violet was on the exact same flight Royce took to New York.

"Royce must have been taking her to New York to help her. He would have been more familiar with New York city than Los Angeles," reasons Beckett before continuing to look around Young's house.

Castle seems to snap out of his day dreaming at Beckett's mentions of Violet having taken the same plane to New York that Royce did and he voices,

"That makes sense, but what was he helping her run from? If we figure out whom Violet was, and probably still is, trying to get away from, I bet we find Royce's killer."

Beckett nods in agreement, both of them still looking around for any other information which may be useful. A little while later, Castle notices police outside the residence, realizing someone must have spotted Beckett picking the lock. He quickly turns toward Becket and stage whispers,

"Cops! Cops! Cops!"

They try sneaking out the back patio door but are met with one, Detective Kyle Seeger. Beckett tries to reason with him, explaining, "Listen Kyle, this is just a misunderstanding."

Detective Seeger shakes his head and counters, volunteering,

"No misunderstanding here Detective Beckett. I can appreciate trying to find justice for the loss you've experienced, but in all honesty here, I can't have you and this CLUE! Board game fanatic here interrupting with my case. LA is far from your jurisdiction, I suggest you go home. And if I'm not enough to get you to leave Los Angeles and go home, I have a phone call here for you."

Detective Seeger hands Beckett his phone and she is met with the sound of Montgomery's voice. After speaking to her Captain she hangs up the phone, handing it back to Seeger and then she and Castle go to leave.

As Beckett rounds the side of the house and makes her way to the street, Castle catches up to her and gets into the passenger side of the car, sliding his fingers through his hair to fix it while he exclaims, obviously still troubled,

"I mean, dissolving bullets!? I've heard of ice bullets. But dissolving bullets, that's new. I mean, you'd think that even if I'd never heard of them being an actual thing that I would have at least thought them up for a book idea or-"

Slightly annoyed that Castle seems to have been focused on dissolving bullets and not how they pertain to the case, Beckett starts the car and pulls onto the road as she demands,

"Castle! I can't believe you're still stuck on the dissolving bullets after everything that's happened since then. Focus, we have to figure out what Violet Young was doing with that voice recording."

Seeming to be fully back with Beckett and no longer thinking about dissolving bullets for the moment, Castle discloses,

"Right, right. _The power of sound compels you… _Oh and just for the record, seeing that now it may be in question, I've never lost a single game."

Beckett takes a second to look at Castle, averting her eyes from the road as she asks with some confusion,

"A single game of what Castle?"

Castle looks at her like she should know what he's talking about and then he orients himself to face the front of the car before he answers,

"Clue."

The small amount of frustration she had towards Castle leaves her, as she's unable to hide her smile from his most recent comment.

They start heading back to the hotel to regroup and call Ryan on the way. Castle dials Ryan's number and waits for him to pick up.

"Detective Ryan."

Castle automatically puts the call on speaker and says,

"Hey Ryan, do you gotta second to talk?"

Ryan affirms and directs towards Beckett,

"About Montgomery though, he's is seriously fired up about you going to LA. It's obvious he knew you were going to go but I mean, man Beckett. He isn't real happy right now."

Beckett bites her bottom lip at Ryan's comment and then tells him,

"Yeah I know. Look, I need a favor from you, but you can feel free to say no."

Without a moment's hesitation Ryan replies,

"Oh, come on. Whatever it is, I'm saying yes."

Relieved that that guys always seemed to have her back, she responds,

"Alright, thanks Kev. Castle and I think Royce had some company on his flight back to New York. A woman named Violet Young, we think that whatever it is that Royce got caught up in that she's involved as well."

Ryan grabs a pen as Beckett talks, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder as he begins to write down the name of the woman Beckett mentioned to him. When Beckett finishes speaking, Ryan questions,

"So you guys think she's still in town here?"

"I figure the only way that she isn't still in New York is if McCauley got to her first, before Royce," Beckett answers and then Castle adds,

"I agree with Beckett. Also, I remember seeing Violet's headshot back at her place and an acting school in New York was listed among seeing a photo of some guy next to the voice recorder, I took a picture of the headshot and I'll text you the picture in a minute."

Beckett glances quickly at Castle before directing her attention back the road while commenting towards Castle,

"I didn't see you take any pictures while we were at Violet's house, good job Castle. There's a chance if is still friends with some people from the acting school that she tried to get a hold of them once she and Royce made it to New York. Ryan, could you check and see if Violet tried to get in contact with any of them?"

On the other line, Ryan sets his pen on the table and grabs his phone so he can resituate himself and not drop the phone,

"No problem Beckett. I'll look into it."

"Great Ryan, and thanks."

Before Ryan has a chance to hang up, he gets hit in the back of the head with a balled up piece of paper. He sits up straight in his chair and quickly orients it so he can see behind him. He looks and sees Esposito lowering his hand from throwing the paper and then start to sit down. Ryan shrugs his shoulders in askance and then chides,

"What the hell Javi!?" while covering the phone with his hand.

Esposito just points to the phone on his desk and Ryan removes his hand from covering the phone as he tells Beckett,

"Hey Beckett, line two. Esposito's got something."

Ryan transfers Beckett's call to Esposito's phone, Esposito already waiting with the phone up to his ear. He catches Castle speaking to Beckett over the line,

"Ryan left that open for so many jokes, most, if not all of them, at Espo's expense."

Esposito lifts his right eyebrow and leans over to rest his arm on his desk.

"Hey bro, just keep all them jokes to yourself. What I do have is a picture of our killer. Courtesy of TSA, I'm shooting it over to you now."

Beckett lets out a sigh and says,

"I know it's a long shot but run his picture through facial recognition and see if we get a match in the local or federal databases."

"Will do Beckett."

Esposito says goodbye and they hang up the phone.

Not long after Castle exclaims,

"Found him."

"Neel McCauley?"

Castle shakes his head no and explains,

"No, not McCauley. I mean the mystery guy from the picture at Violet's place. I realized I remembered him from somewhere so I did a little internet search and "bam," said the lady, says here that he's Charles Kelvin, the chief executive officer at some R&amp;D facility."

Beckett changes her route, finding a place to pull over so they can find out where to locate Mr. Kelvin.

"Looks like we're going to have to find Charles Kelvin and talk to him."

Castle just nods and continues searching for where they can find Mr. Kelvin.

* * *

Beckett and Castle find and talk to Charles Kelvin, realizing that the voice on the recorder, which apparently Castle grabbed from the house without Beckett's knowledge, is Charles's. Charles Kelvin curses, disclosing that the phrase on the recorder is the voice protected password to a very high security vault. He then tells Beckett and Castle that he needs to get back to the office to check on the contents of the vault. They follow him to his office. When they reach the vault, Charles unlocks it and steps inside.

"No! They're gone."

Beckett steps inside the vault beside Charles and asks,

"What was in here, Mr. Kelvin?"

Not giving up what is was being stored in the vault, Mr. Kelvin replies,

"That's proprietary information."

Just as Charles is answering Beckett, Castle starts to walk around the vault. He sees a stray bullet and he picks it up declaring,

"A bullet. I'm guessing it dissolves."

Charles stops what he's doing and looks over to Castle wondering,

"How did you know that?"

Answering for Castle, Beckett concludes,

"Because they were used in a murder."

Charles looks at Beckett and then mutters,

"God. We created them to try to land a defense contract in ultra-light ammunition. The dissolving property was a complete accident. And unfortunately, it rendered the bullets useless to the military."

"Useless to the military, but very valuable to someone else," Beckett divulges.

Castle and Beckett finish up talking to Charles Kelvin and decide to head back to the hotel to theorize and figure out there steps for the next day.

* * *

Back at the twelfth precinct, Ryan finds Esposito in the hallway.

He walks up to him and announces,

"Hey! I've got good news on Violet."

"You found her?"

With a shake of his head Ryan answers,

"Uh, not that good. But she is alive. Or at least she was last night. Tracked down an ex of hers, said she showed up on his doorstep scared out of her mind, told him she had come out from L.A. with Royce, but he had disappeared. So, the ex let her stay the night. Next morning, Violet was gone, so was his wallet."

"He know where she was headed?"

"Uh, no. But two hours later, a large African American gentlemen with a fondness for kidney punches showed up and asked that very same question."

Picking up on where the conversation is headed, Esposito says,

"This the same guy who picked our killer up from the airport?"

Ryan answers with,

"That's what I was thinking, I've already got a sketch artist on it."

Grabbing for his jacket from the back of his chair as Ryan does the same, Espo states,

"I'm thinking we aren't the only ones looking for Violet Young."

Ryan nods in agreement and buttons his coat as they leave for the night.

* * *

Back at the hotel, Beckett listens to Castle's theory on how Violet Young got herself caught up in getting the password to the high security vault.

"What if she didn't know she was actually supposed to be getting the password for the vault? I mean, picture this: a gullible young actress, desperate to make a name for herself. She meets our mastermind at a club. He needs a pretty girl to help him get the voice code. He tells Violet he's a producer, promises to make her famous if she helps him play a practical joke on a friend."

As she listens to Castle's theory, the cogs churning, and she picks up where leaves off.

"She doesn't even realize that she's participating in a crime until afterwards. She can't call the cops, so she contacts Royce."

Castle finishes taking a drink and then adds,

"And then out Mr. McCauley finds out."

"And Royce tries to change the game. He goes to New York; home field advantage. Classic. Classic Royce..."

She tries to continue on with the theory but she becomes stuck when she says Royce's name. This whole time she's been able to keep her mind focused on just solving the case. She's been able to leave the emotions out of it. Though, it may be easier for Beckett to keep her mind off of it when she's in LA and Royce was killed in New York. She hasn't had to think about him, hasn't really had to admit he's gone. Last night when she began to reread the letter he left for her, she was able to stop reading at the same point she stopped reading the first time she glanced at it. It's just hitting her now, he's gone, and it chokes her up a bit. Before she know it, she finds herself talking about it to Rick as she looks up towards the ceiling, trying to keep tears from falling.

"…I was so in awe of him, Castle, when I first met him. I just hung on his every word. And then, later, I realized he was just making up stories to mess with me. I haven't even spoke to him since I had to arrest him, I was just so angry Castle. I can't believe that I'm never gonna see him again."

She goes to swipe at a stray tear with the hand not holding her wine glass and she sniffles. Before her hand reaches her cheek to swipe away the tear, Castle's hand is already there caressing her cheek and erasing her tears away for her. Once he swipes away the tears, he moves his hand away and takes hold of her free one, reassuring her,

"He gets it Beckett, Royce knows when you arrested him you were being a cop. He knows that you being upset because of his choices doesn't mean you stopped caring. And if he knew you like I've gotten to, he knows that you're so much more than just a cop. Too often I see cops and they stick to that moniker. But you, Kate, you're not defined by your title. You're more. So much more."

He squeezes her hand to make sure she's still listening before he adds,

"You know what I thought when I first met you?"

She tilts her head, eyes finding his and hums,

"Mm?"

Castle takes a deep breath in and starts,

"That you were a mystery I was never gonna solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm… I'm still amazed at the depths of your strength, your heart. And your hotness."

Beckett's serious demeanor splits into a smile as she laughs, his last comment catching her off guard. Still smiling she responds,

"You're not so bad yourself Castle."

Their smiles turn a bit more serious as they both realize the time and Beckett is the first to comment on the lateness.

"It's getting late Castle, I should go. Goodnight."

Castle releases his hold on her hand so she can do the same and he watches as she gets up off the couch, making her way to her room. Before she can disappear and close the door Castle says her name.

"Kate."

Beckett doesn't turn around, she doesn't want to ruin the moment they just had by him seeing her tears build up again. He already comforted her once and though they are supposed to be starting a relationship, she isn't convinced her crying into his shoulder is the best way to do that. So she just announces,

"Goodnight Castle."

Castle waits a second to hear the click of her door and then he watches the doorknob thinking maybe she will change her mind.

On the other side of the door, Beckett sighs and then runs her hand through her hair. After a while of being at a standstill between her bed and the door, she contemplates going back on the decision she made just minutes ago and she places her hand back onto the doorknob and opens the door a crack. When she glances into the main room, she sees Castle's door only slightly ajar and Castle is nowhere in sight. Before she is able to reclose the door though, a hand holding a cup of hot chocolate appears before her.

Before she can ask Castle explains,

"I called down to concierge and had Maurice bring up two cups of hot chocolate. I know you said goodnight but I just thought-"

Beckett smiles and takes the offered hot chocolate with one hand and twines her other hand's fingers through his now empty one and confirms,

"You thought right Castle."

Castle smiles and takes a quick sip of his hot chocolate as Beckett leads him into her room.

* * *

_Thanks for reading. I appreciate all of you guys. Feel free to leave a review. _

_-Sorry I haven't been good with responding to reviews, there isn't really an excuse besides I see reviews by checking my email from my phone (I don't like responding on my phone) and I only use my laptop to write and for schoolwork. I'm trying to get better at responding though. :) _

_I hope to post sooner than I have been. It's hard to balance time for writing along with work and school responsibilities. At least the past two chapters have been from the same month._

_I will also disclose, since I'm tired and have no filter, that I sometimes get sidetracked writing because I listen to music. Some songs I end up having to listen to completely before trying to continue writing. Like right now, a string Quartet version of "I Can't Help Falling in Love" is playing and since there aren't lyrics my mind has to add them._

_-_Oh, and if you caught my little quote before I started off the chapter and you recognize where it's from, you should go watch it. Mainly because I want to but don't have the time.

Also, if you know where the whole 'I think you missed' when Castle kisses Beckett's cheek is from, feel free to leave a review/comment on where it's from. If someone guesses right, I'll let you know at the beginning of the next chapter.

_See you next chapter_

_TBC_

_-MRB_


	16. The Takedown

_He Was Already Hers_

_Chapter 16_

_The Takedown_

A/N: I posted this pretty much right after I wrote it so, yeah, may have some mistakes in grammar. If I find time or someone points something major out I'll probably fix it soon.

_Disclaimer: Though the case has been pretty close to canon throughout this story so far, some of the sequences may not be exact. Any similarities and quotes from the show or dialogue are not mine._

* * *

Castle finishes shutting the door to the hotel room after Detective Seeger's impromptu visit and turns to face Beckett as he exclaims, "It's a good thing that murder board you had concierge find has wheels or it wouldn't have been so easy to hide from Seeger. Do you think it's a real good idea to keep him out of the loop Beckett, I mean he could probably help."

Beckett looks at Castle and thinks about involving Detective Seeger for a moment before answering, "I'm still not comfortable including Detective Seeger in on this yet Castle, we don't have enough information to make anything stick or for Seeger to gain an interest in actually catching Royce's killer. Once we know more then I think it'd be a good idea to let Seeger in on it."

"Alright, so, what have you found out in between when you woke up ungodly early to when I graced you with my ruggedly handsome presence?" Castle quips with a smirk as he goes to sit on the couch.

Beckett rolls her eyes and sits next to him, telling him everything she has learned that he hasn't, her and Castle recapping the events of days prior as well.

_From their discussion they know that the vault where the dissolving bullets were being held was last opened Tuesday night at a quarter to midnight. Seeing that there was roughly 800 pounds worth of ammunition taken the thieves would have needed access to the loading dock. Castle mentioned to Beckett that there was a security guard station and that no one would have been able to do the heist without insider help. Beckett agreed and told Castle that she called the security company and the security guard stationed there all night was a man named Reggie Walsh, that, oddly enough, Reggie asked to be reassigned the very next day after the heist. _

"Huh, I'm guessing his request to be reassigned wasn't coincidental in the slightest," is Castle's response to Beckett's new information.

Without so much as a glance at each other, they both realize and speak at the same time, "We need to question Reggie."

* * *

With a plan in mind, Beckett and Castle leave the hotel to question Reggie. Luckily for them, one of Zenith studios sound stages works great as a make shift interrogation room for Reggie Walsh. After 'interrogating' Reggie, they know for sure someone by the name of Ganz is behind the heist. Beckett calls the precinct and talks to Ryan, finding out that this gut is named Russel Ganz and that over the last five years he's pulled off quite a few of high profile heists. Ryan tells her Ganz is a very clever and violent person, the multi-million dollar scores he's been in leading him to live like royalty. Beckett then asks if there is any known L.A. address for Ganz or known associates and Ryan says that there is one guy, named Donald Mannis, who seems to run in Ganz's circle and fits the description of the person hunting down Violet Young.

Once Beckett is off the phone Castle speaks up, saying he knows just the guy to help them find Ganz, seeing that Ganz likes the perks of wealth. Maurice, the concierge, tells Beckett and Castle that Mr. Ganz is definitely at a poolside at the East Way. He also tells them he likes to do business on the phone and that a poolside waiter has confirmed that Ganz is currently doing just that. With the new information at hand, Castle and Beckett make a short stop back at the hotel room so Beckett can change her clothing attire.

Beckett steps out of her room wearing a tan swimsuit, her cover up in her right hand, and Castle's staring eyes gawking just about everywhere else.

She doesn't notice Castle's gaze at first when she announces, "Okay. So if Ganz is doing business poolside, he's probably trying to find a buyer for those bullets. If I can put him with those bullets, I can prove he killed Roy-" she cuts off as she notices Castle's 'creepy staring' and berates him,

"Hey Castle, if you have something to say with your agape mouth, you can direct them to my face, my eyes are up here buddy," she cajoles as she raises her eyebrows, continuing to walk into the main room of the suite.

Castle quickly closes his mouth and gulps before meeting her eyes and admitting, "Nope, nothing. Except, you look nice, Kate."

Her face relaxes and her eyes soften at his compliment, her lips curving into a genuine smile at the use of her first name. She walks the rest of the way to him and gives him a kiss on the lips and cuts it short before he can completely respond to her action. Once Castle realizes what's happened she's halfway to the door looking back at him, motioning with her head and asking, "You coming Castle?"

He reaches his hand to his lips and nods in agreement, following behind her.

* * *

They reach the East Way poolside and split up once they arrive, setting their plan in motion to connect Ganz to the dissolving bullets and Royce's murder. Castle's sitting in a comfortable chair, reclining back underneath an umbrella while Ganz is a few tables away. Both of them watch as Beckett steps seductively out of the pool and makes her way to Ganz, grabbing her cover up off of a chair as she walks past him and goes to sit on the other side of the pool.

"You sure know how to make an entrance, you staying at the hotel?" Ganz asks with a bit of interest.

"No, I'm here to meet someone," Beckett answers.

Ganz nods shifting as he says, "Business."

Beckett looks up towards him from her chair and states, "Hopefully a bit of both, Mr. Ganz. I'm Lola Black. Please, sit."

Ganz sits down and puts his hands on his knees so they can talk at a comfortable volume as he asks, "What can I do for you, Miss Black?"

Beckett tells him that she represents a small but strong Columbian business and that they heard he was in possession of some unique merchandise. Ganz denies her accusation and Beckett replies,

"Oh, I think you do Mr. Ganz. You see, that business in New York, with that ex-cop, was quite an effective product demonstration. Look, my offer is serious and my clients are not accustomed to hearing the word no."

Ganz places his hands onto the arms of his chair and makes a move to leave as he claims, "Unfortunately, the bidding on that particular merchandise closed twenty minutes ago Miss Black."

Beckett glances to where Castle was sitting and notices he's no longer there. She quickly scans the area and sees Castle underneath the awning Ganz was before he came over to talk to her. Not wanting Castle to be made, she keeps Ganz from leaving by exclaiming,

"Wait… Uh, two million. I – I can have it here within an hour."

"Huh, you had me lured in for a second there 'Miss Black', I'm actually a bit impressed."

Beckett tilts her head and questions, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ganz shifts on his feet a bit and then leans down so she can read him clearly, "Means you're a cop. You're also the hottest thing I've seen come out of Major Crimes in quite some time. But you're a little too eager. A little too green. Nice meeting you, 'Lola'." With that, Ganz stands up fully and places his sunglasses back on, then turns and leaves.

Just as Ganz is turning around, Castle sneaks out from under the awning.

Once Ganz is out of view, Beckett gets up to find Castle. She sees him waiting behind some bushes and she approaches him, clearly frustrated. Stopping right in front of him, Beckett pokes him in the chest with a little force, ignoring his yelp of OW! and complains,

"I was trying to keep him from seeing you and so I pushed too hard and he made me. He called me GREEN, Castle!"

Still angry, she pokes him again and adds, "What the hell were ya doing Castle!?"

Rubbing over the spot where Beckett poked him, he defends himself by saying, "I saw his phone sitting on the table. I thought it was worth the risk."

Beckett's eyes goes wide and she asks, "You took his phone?"

Castle scoffs but quickly responds, "No! No, I took a picture of his recent call list with my phone."

Beckett looks surprised, the frustration leaving her face and inquires, "Where is it?"

Castle looks a little hesitant, still covering the spot where she poked him and doesn't answer her right away. Instead he rebukes with, "Don't uh, don't poke me again."

"Poke you? I want to kiss you," Beckett states as she goes to reach for Castle's phone. Before she can grab his phone, Castle grabs her hand that's outstretched for his phone and uses it to pull her closer to him. He waits until she looks up at him and then he says, "Okay Beckett, if that's what you want," and pulls her in for a kiss.

After a little while, they both pull away from the kiss. It takes a moment for them both to get back on track, but then Beckett succeeds in grabbing Castle's phone and she looks at the picture of Ganz's recent call list. Satisfied, she looks back up at Castle and reasons, "Okay, we need to run down these numbers, see if we can trace one of them to Ganz's buyer."

Castle shakes his head in affirmation and adds, "Okay, now can we call Seeger?"

* * *

Detective Seeger is caught up to speed by Beckett and Castle, being given the list of Ganz's call list. Seeger and his team is able to locate a call from out of Manhattan, him and Beckett and Castle figuring out it must be Ganz's associate Mannis, who apparently followed Violet Young to New York.

"Let's rile him up a little bit, I'll tell him I met with Ganz and that he's trying to cut Mannis out of the deal. That Mannis isn't pulling his weight."

Castle chimes in to Beckett's idea explaining, "Then Mannis will get pissed, he'll call up Ganz and maybe one of them will let slip the location of the exchange."

Detective Seeger agrees with their idea and decides, "And we'll be listening. Good, I'll make a call, try to get a warrant."

Back in New York, at the twelfth, Ryan and Esposito try to cover for Beckett when Montgomery asks about her, though the Captain isn't buying their story, he also doesn't reprimand them for lying. Instead he sighs and sends them to find Violet Young, telling them to help Beckett put an end to this case. Both answer the Captain with a "Yes Sir" and then they're off to locate Violet Young.

As Esposito and Ryan locate and speak to Violet Young, Mannis approaches them, gun in hand, when his cell phone starts ringing.

Ryan and Esposito react as quickly as they can, Esposito yelling "Gun!" and Ryan exclaiming "Get down!" Ryan pulls Violet down to protect her and Esposito takes Mannis down with a single shot to the leg.

Esposito keeps his gun pointed at Mannis as he bends down to get a hold of the still ringing cell phone. He picks up the phone and answers it.

"Yo."

On the other end of the call Beckett questions, "Esposito? Are you with Mannis?"

Esposito affirms, "Beckett? Uh, yeah, I just shot him for pulling a gun on Violet Young, Ryan, and me. Why are you calling him?"

"Look Espo, we need to know where and when Ganz is selling those bullets," Beckett responds.

Esposito says "Done" and turns to Mannis asking "Where's this deal going down Mannis?"

Deflecting, Mannis exclaims, "I'm hit man, call an ambulance."

Espo just smirks and assures, "Oh, don't worry, my partner's on that. Aren't you Ryan?"

Ryan answers, "Yeah, I'm just having a bit of trouble remembering the number. It's nine, one. Wait, what comes after that one?"

Mannis yells again saying, "I'm in pain here man! Call an ambulance."

Esposito looks back over to Mannis, "It's over. Now you give us the when and where and I'll talk to the D.A. in L.A. and let them know you cooperated."

Mannis gives them the location and time, the Santa Monica pier at six o'clock. But before they call an ambulance Espo asks one more question.

"Who shot Royce?"

Mannis confirms, "It was Ganz. Ganz killed Royce."

Back into the phone, Esposito asks Beckett, "You get all that?"

Beckett concludes, "Yeah, we got it. Thanks guys." Beckett ends the call, her, Castle, and Seeger leaving for the Santa Monica pier.

The three of them reach Santa Monica pier and close in on a large guy holding a case, a van off to his right. They stop in their tracks and Detective Seeger exclaims, "LAPD, freeze! Put the case down and your hands behind your head."

Beckett, directing her attention to the van yells, "You in the van. Police! Both hands out the window, open the door and get out slowly!"

The guy steps out of the van and does what she asks. Then she demands to know about Ganz, asking, "Where is he? Where's Ganz?"

Beckett looks around and spots Ganz tossing a half smoked cigar and he makes a getaway. Ganz sees her draw her gun and starts to run. Beckett chases after him.

Meanwhile Castle and Detective Seeger open the back of the van and find the crate of bullets.

Castle turns around and says, "Beckett! The bullets are in the van." Not hearing a response he goes back to the driver's side of the van and notices she's gone.

He looks around and out of the corner of his eye he sees a blur of black t-shirt rush past. He looks around him again, searching for Beckett, but she was nowhere to be found. He has too late of a start to be in on the action, figuring Ganz was going for a more secluded place without foot traffic to end this chase.

Castle quickly scans the pier and tries thinking of a better vantage point. He notices the Ferris wheel, but this was no time for fun. Even if the Ferris wheel could give him a great view of the entire pier. "The pier!" he yells in his head. It's so obvious to him now. He begins running to the edge of the pier towards the railing. He glances down and notices he was further out towards the water than he first realized, though when the tide recedes back sand is viewable below him. He's trying to decide how to make his way to where he thinks Beckett and Ganz will meet when he sees that same shirt color from before running below him towards the pier. Without a second to reevaluate, Castle makes a run for the other end of the pier. He's just hoping his calculations are accurate enough to not get himself killed, or that he won't trip over the guy with the moving hotdog stand which is currently crossing his path. He reaches the other side of the pier unscathed by the hotdog stand and looks down to the seemingly calm beach beneath him.

He starts thinking of a new plan when he sees a glimpse of Ganz and the gun resting in Ganz's right hand. Knowing he has no other way down, and if he's not mistaking he can hear Beckett's steady voice in the wind, he jumps. The last thing he remembers is the ring of a gunshot and Beckett's faltering face.

* * *

Everything keeps replaying in Beckett's head as she sits in a chair in Castle's hospital room. Castle making his appearance from the pier and landing on Ganz. The gunshot. Castle not getting up. Her gut reaction, to incapacitate Ganz as soon as she had a clear shot. How her vision was blinded to everything around her except Castle and Ganz. A lot of people have asked her before about that kind of thing, the tunnel vision that occurs when you're chasing down a suspect. It's true. It's hard not to have tunnel vision if you're focused on apprehending a suspect. She remembers Seeger going over to Ganz and cuffing him, telling him he's under arrest for the murder of Royce. She remembers putting pressure on Castle's bullet wound and Seeger calling for a bus. Remembers how it seemed to take forever for the paramedics to show up. She also keeps going back to the ambulance ride to the hospital. Holding his hand though he couldn't squeeze her hand back, knowing if she let go, even for just a moment, his would slip away. So she kept holding on for him.

She tries to stop thinking about how it felt to see Castle get shot and ends up reaching into front pocket of her jeans to grab Royce's letter. She reads it from the beginning again and this time she has no hesitation at reading the entire letter, taking a breath in as she reads;

_And now for the hard part, kid…_

_ It's clear that you and Castle have something real. And you're fighting it. But trust me, putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder if only…_

_ -Royce _

After reading the rest of the letter, Beckett looks at it awhile longer before putting it back in her pocket. She then glances back over to Castle, hoping she isn't going to be stuck wondering if only.

A bit later, Beckett exits the room to call his family, they should know he's okay, given what happened. Alexis is a little surprised to hear from her and not Castle. Beckett explains to Alexis what happened and that once Castle is awake from surgery, he will call her. Beckett then asks Alexis to hand the phone to Martha so Alexis doesn't have to be the one to clue Martha in on what happened to Castle. Though both Martha and Alexis are upset about Castle, they thank her for calling and letting them know he'll be alright.

As Beckett walks back into Castle's room, Castle let's her know he's awake by announcing,

"I can't believe you shot me! I mean, I know I signed that waiver like three years ago, but I don't think it has any weight here in LA Beckett."

Beckett rolls her eyes, though her emotions aren't behind the gesture, and she replies, "It wasn't one of my bullets that put a hole in you Castle, I didn't even shoot my gun until I had a clear shot at Ganz."

Right, Castle thinks as he recalls jumping over the edge and nearly breaking his neck. Ganz was not a comfortable place to land, though he assumes not having had Ganz to break his fall would have hurt more.

Beckett was still reeling over everything that happened. Castle had been shot and from the time it took to reach Castle after shooting Ganz, to finding where exactly Castle had been shot, she'd thought the worst. She still hadn't really been able to convince herself he was okay until just now. Castle and his wiseass remarks proving he would pull through.

"Yeah Castle, 'right'," Beckett gestures using air quotes, clueing Castle in that he had spoken out loud. "You could have been killed Castle," Beckett adds, with more concern than anything else.

Castle sighs, and beyond realizing that it hurt a bit to breathe, he discloses in honesty, "I wasn't even thinking Beckett, I saw Ganz with a gun and he was raising it towards where I thought you were and so, I jumped... On top of him..."

Beckett scoffs and chastises him slightly when she replies, "Yeah Castle, you weren't thinking, that's clear. If you had jumped any later I probably would have shot you. And if you hadn't gotten shot in the first place, I may have shot you just for jumping. You're lucky you only have a side graze, bruised ribs, and a broken arm, aside from that bruised ego of yours for not incapacitating the suspect."

Now it was Castle's turn to scoff, "Bruised ego Beckett? I slowed down the killer and I'm going to have a nice battle scar once the gun shot heals."

Beckett looks away, her arms are crossed at her chest and she still hasn't had gotten close enough to hug him or show him she was glad he was okay, okay being a relative term here. As she glances toward the door to Castle's hospital room, she tries to unnoticeably move her hand to swipe away at the few unnecessary tears silently falling down her cheek.

Castle sees it for what it really is and lets his head move back to rest on the headboard and he closes his eyes. He's an ass. How did he expect her to react to him getting shot by the guy who killed Royce? And she had to watch it as it unfolded. She was, undoubtedly, the person who must have held pressure to his gunshot to keep him from bleeding out as well as the person who held his hand in the ambulance. All the while, the words he spoke to her last night probably swam around in her head. God, he had been so foolish. Castle rubs his eyes and then opens them again to be met with the back of Beckett's head. He clears his throat and murmurs, "Kate, I'm sorry."

Kate turns her head so she can look at his face and he continues, "I, I shouldn't have been stupid. I'd offer up an excuse about how it was a heroic effort on my part to save your life, but we both know you could have taken him out without my help or hindrance."

She takes a step toward him and rests her right hand on the foot of the hospital bed as she half scolds him, "Don't apologize for being my partner Castle. I get that you're sorry for how everything happened, that you got shot. How it, how it made me think of Ganz killing Royce, but never tell me you're sorry for being my partner or that you were stupid to try and help me. Losing Royce was like a punch in the stomach, but when I heard the gunshot and I thought I could be losing you, I... I'd never survive losing you Rick."

Castle quickly resituates in the hospital bed and motions for Beckett to come closer. Once he's sitting up straighter, he has Beckett sit on the edge of the bed and takes her hand. She leans in and carefully wraps her arms around him. He hugs her back, as securely as he can, her head resting on the shoulder of his uninjured arm. He hears her sigh a breath of relief and he soothes, "I'm right here Beckett. You couldn't lose me if you tried, and you have tried, I remember when you were still annoyed when I was first shadowing you." He waits before saying anything else and they hug for a while longer.

"It didn't work then and it won't work now," he adds, pulling back a little to kiss her on the forehead.

She leans back to catch his eyes with her own and asks, "Promise, Rick?"

He smirks back at her and promises, "Always."

* * *

Hey guys, not sure when the next update will be but I am hoping sooner than later. RL has been very hectic so there isn't much time for writing. Once this story finally gets finished I'm hoping to start a new story that is quite a bit more au, being a premise from a movie I like. In the future, I won't post any multi-chapter works without having many chapters already written, I don't like the lag in updates as much as you.

Thanks for reading. Believe it or not, I only just watched the last two episodes in the series today because I hadn't wanted the Castle Series to end. Guess now I'll be watching and re-watching the series.

As long as I can still find different Castle fics and one-shots that I want to write, I will continue to write them.

*TBC*

-MB


	17. Home Again, Home Again

He Was Already Hers

Ch. 17 Home Again, Home Again

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait between updates. I hope you all have a great 2017.

(All mistakes are mine)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

It was clear Castle was going to be okay, he'd been feeling enough like himself to charm himself into getting a late night ice cream sundae, as well as an earlier than expected discharge from the hospital. Since the bullet wound was just a side graze and his arm was already set and placed in a cast, the discharge paperwork would be handled sometime before noon the next day.

* * *

It was kind of weird, Beckett thought, seeing that it was Castle who had to fill out the paperwork this time and not herself. However, it became clear from the beginning that Castle would need assistance in filling out the forms. It's kind of difficult to fill out forms when the arm you write with is in a cast, or so she had thought.

Castle was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, dressed and eager to leave, the discharge forms were on the bedside table.

His left hand was holding the pen when he quipped, "You know, I think this is the first time I've been excited to start paperwork and not just watch as you fill out form after form."

Before he started to fill out the forms, Beckett inquired, "Speaking of paperwork, would it be easier if you told me what to say and I write it down for you?"

Castle glanced up from the forms with a slow forming grin on his face. "Easier for me, yes, but necessary? No." He began to fill out the paperwork with his left hand, just as flawlessly as he would have using his right hand. He paused for a second to look up and see Beckett's surprised face and to give her a wink.

Beckett chuckled and commented, "So not only have you refrained from helping with paperwork at the precinct, but you could have been filling out two forms at once? I didn't know you were ambidextrous."

Castle kept writing while he answered, "Not many people do know. I guess it may be a cool trick for parties. I um, I broke my right wrist when I was little. I was running back to my friend's house near Hollander's Woods when I fell and broke my wrist. I was so occupied with beating my friend in a race that I got back up and continued running. I hadn't realized it was broken until we were back at the house. Long story short, I had to learn how to write with my left hand to keep up in school."

Beckett rose from the chair she was sitting in and made her way to sit next to Castle on his uninjured side. After situating, she gently placed her hand on his thigh. "So, I guess you're going to get an extension on your deadline for your next book, huh."

Castle gave a short laugh, responding, "You'd be surprised actually, seeing that they give me quite a bit of leniency when I'm not stuck typing with one hand, they'll probably still push me to send in the next few chapters within the deadline range. It's okay though, I have enough written to keep them happy once I finally send everything to Gina."

She squeezed his thigh in acknowledgment, she was going to say something but Castle beat her to it.

He signed the final discharge form and set the pen down. Castle turned to her and placed his hand on top hers on his leg, "You ready to get out of here and catch the earliest flight back? I mean, as much as I do love LA, there are more people in New York who I know that will sign my cast."

Beckett turned her hand up so that she could squeeze his hand, "I think getting back home sounds good."

They both stood up, him to give his case manager his discharge paperwork and Beckett to gather their things, but before he could make it a couple steps to the door Beckett stopped him.

"Hey Castle, wait a second."

He stopped moving towards the door and came back to where she was still standing.

She looked up to meet her eyes with his before she began speaking. "I wanted to thank you Rick-"

Rick crinkled his eyebrows a little, confused to what she was referring about. "For what?"

Beckett let out a breath of air and closed the space between them, explaining, "I want to thank you for being here. For following me to LA even after everything that was or wasn't said back at the precinct. For thinking about me when you had first went away on your book tour, having the barista deliver me coffee. Just, thanks for being my partner."

Once she finished speaking she looked down for a second and then unconsciously bit her lip while waiting for him to respond. He didn't say anything right away so she met his eyes again, and when she did he leaned down to close the gap and kissed her. After a minute or so, he pulled away so he could speak. "You don't have to thank me Kate. It's like you said, we're partners."

She reached up and kissed him again.

* * *

Castle was released from the hospital and they made their way back to the hotel to gather all their belongings. Once they had everything they drove to the airport, dropped the car off at the rental place, and then checked in their luggage.

They had a while before their flight was to start boarding so they decided to walk around the different stores close to their terminal. They wound up walking through quite a few stores, Castle pointing out everything he thought she needed to see and Beckett content with being the person he showed everything that caught his eye to. Once they looked through enough of the stores they found places to sit. Castle decided to make a call to Alexis to let her know he was still doing fine and that they were on their way back to New York.

Instead of calling the guys, Beckett texted them to let them know they were on their way back. She knew they'd be filling out paperwork and there was always a chance that Captain Montgomery would make them hand the phone over to him so he could speak to her. She'd rather wait until they were face to face for Montgomery to lay into her about going to LA when she was given strict orders to stay away from the case.

It wasn't long before enough time passed and they were able to start boarding the plane.

Beckett and Castle settled down in first class, Beckett took the aisle seat so that Castle wouldn't be jostled at all if someone was passing through in the aisle. She knew what it felt like to have bruised ribs and how any movement that wasn't purposeful could cause quite a bit of discomfort.

Castle took the pillow he purchased at one of the stores they went into and placed it between his broken arm and his armrest. When he was finished doing that he started speaking. "I remember the first time Alexis rode on an airplane. We were going to California so she could spend some time with Meredith. For the first part of the flight she was so upset, I had thought that she was afraid of the noise of the plane or the flying in general. I soon learned that Alexis loved the idea of flying in an airplane, she just wasn't too keen on spending a couple days with her mother by herself. I was able to calm her down by reminding her that she was only spending a handful of hours with her mother each day and that after she were done visiting Meredith that we were going to spend time at the Magic Kingdom."

"It must have been hard to see her upset at the idea of spending time with her mother. I know you have a good relationship with Martha and so Meredith not having a great relationship with Alexis must have hurt."

Castle turned to Beckett with a sad smile, "Yeah, it was, and is, awful. I mean I've always made sure Alexis would know I'm there for her but there's still something that pulls at you when you realize one parent does so much and the other doesn't really do anything. But then again, I probably wouldn't have been that great at sharing Alexis had Meredith been more of an active participant in her daughter's life."

Beckett reached for his left hand and hooked her fingers in between his. "I'm sure if you were given the opportunity to share Alexis you would have had no trouble having someone next to you watch Alexis reach every one of her milestones."

"Thanks. Oh hey, when was Little Beckett's first ride on an airplane?"

Beckett scoffed before telling him. "I was eleven, I think. Both my parents were able to take time off from their law firms at the same time and we took a family trip. We went to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. I wasn't real scared to fly or anything, I just had butterflies from the excitement of it all. We weren't able to book seats all next to each other so my dad had to sit by himself. If you ask him, he makes it seem like I picked my mom over him because I got to choose who I sat next to."

Castle squeezed her hand slightly and chuckled, "Hmm, I'm sure he's never let you live that down."

Beckett nodded in affirmation, squeezing his hand back. "No, he hasn't. But my dad's always known my mom and I were really close. Sometimes too much alike for our own good, but I always secretly loved being so much like her."

"Well if you and your mom were so much alike, then judging by your character, believing that people should receive justice no matter who they are, and your taste in books, your mom must have been a pretty extraordinary person."

Beckett closed her eyes to help keep her emotions in check. When she was sure that she had them under control she murmured, "You have no idea."

Castle and Beckett came to a comfortable silence for the remainder of the flight. While Castle nodded on and off, Beckett had a lot of time to think. Mostly she wondered about how Montgomery was going to handle her disregard for her orders, but she also kept going back to Royce's letter. She was glad he wrote her one, even more so glad that it seemed she may never have to wonder, if only.

The letter itself had seemed to bring her some closure, before she had even left to find Ganz. But she wouldn't deny that the letter also motivated her to take point on Royce's case whether she was ordered to or not. The letter was like his apology to her and she had still felt like she owed him one. Royce was the one who made their relationship start to falter, but she didn't make any attempts to help set it right again. Taking on his case was her way of making peace. She read over Royce's letter once more before storing it safely away.

* * *

They had made it back to New York safe and sound. They decided to take a cab back to her place so she could drop off her things and then she would drive Castle back to the loft. Before taking her luggage up to her apartment, they placed Castle's things in Beckett's car. Castle and Beckett made their way to her apartment and she unlocked the door. Once inside, Beckett set her keys on the table and told Castle she was just going to put her suitcase in her bedroom and she would be ready to give him a ride home.

While Beckett was busy dealing with her suitcase, Castle began to look around the rest of the apartment. He'd been in her apartment before but every time he was there he always seemed to discover something he hadn't noticed before. Kind of like reading a really good book, he thought to himself. You can read the book a countless number of times and still find something you never had before.

He made his way over to her bookshelf and noticed that she had way too many Patterson books for his likings. Okay, so she only had two of Patterson's books, but a few of the books of his own he had given to her as gifts, so those didn't count. As he finished scanning the spines of the books to see what titles she had, and making mental notes to possibly berate her later, he noticed something on the top of the bookshelf. He was just about to pick it up when he heard Beckett walk into the room.

"Find something interesting over there Castle?" Beckett questioned him with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

He stood up straighter and looked away from his newly found discovery. "Actually, as a matter of fact, I did."

"And what would that something interesting be?"

He took a deep breath like he was exasperated, "Well, detective, it seems I've stumbled upon something rather disturbing. You have purchased Patterson's work. And it's not like you only have one of his books, you have two."

Beckett rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Oh my god Castle, really? Did you also notice how I organize my bookshelf too?"

Castle took a quick look back to the bookshelf, thrown by her comment. "What? No, I mean I noticed it wasn't alphabetical by author but I… Anyway, and more importantly, Patterson and myself are rivals Beckett, you can't just go and buy his books. Unless of course you only bought them so you could compare how much better my books are compared to his."

She was now standing next to him by the bookshelf. "Okay fine, Castle. I won't buy anymore of Patterson's books."

Castle crossed his arms before saying, "Good."

Beckett bit her bottom lip and smirked before adding, "I'll just have to check them out from the library from now on."

"Haha very funny Beckett."

She left him to go pick up her keys that she had set on the counter. "You're still trying to figure it out, aren't you?"

Castle tried to feign innocence though he knew very well what she was referring to. "What am I supposed to be trying to still figure out?"

"How I arrange my bookshelf. It bothers you, that you don't know."

He uncrossed his arms and glanced back at her bookshelf. "Well yeah, kind of."

She motioned toward the door and he made his way toward her. "I put the most read books towards the top shelf for easy access. That's how my mom used to organize her books too. It used to drive me nuts because I could never find a book until I asked her where it was."

A smile broke out on Castle's face. "Patterson's books are on the bottom shelf."

Beckett nodded, "Mhmm."

Castle's smile became smug when he realized, "And my books are on the top shelf."

She rolled her eyes, she just knew telling him would stroke his ego but she couldn't help it. He had to have known by now that she does like his books, so she figured she may as well confirm it. "Don't get cocky Castle, I'm a little biased, something about being an inspiration or something."

He opened the door for her and he followed her out as she made her way into the hallway.

As they made their way down in the elevator, Castle questioned, "So, do I get to drive?"

Beckett looked at him as the door to the elevator began to open when she remarked, "Didn't you get your fill of driving in L.A.?"

"Of course I did. However, I haven't yet gotten my fill of driving a car that I can use a siren and pull someone over in."

They made their way outside of her building as he was talking. She unlocked the doors headed for the driver's side when she answered him, "Technically, even if you were driving my car you wouldn't be able to pull anyone over. As soon as they realized you weren't a cop, they wouldn't be required to stay."

Castle sighed as he went to get into the passenger side of the car, he took his time seeing that his ribs were still sore and the bullet graze continued to pull whenever his side was stretched. "You know, for someone who claims to like reading my books, you sure like to ruin my stories with your logic."

By the time they were almost reaching the loft, Castle spoke up again. "Oh, by the way, I was meaning to ask where something on your desk at the precinct disappeared to but I figured it out now."

Beckett took her eyes off the road for a second second to glance at him, "And what might that be?"

"I was wondering where the Russian nesting dolls went to since I noticed they were no longer on your desk. Rest assured, I see they've found a much safer home on the top of your bookshelf."

She pulled up to the curb outside his apartment and put her cruiser in park. "Yeah, I noticed Espo eyeing them up a while ago and I didn't want to come in some morning to find them gone. He knows not to mess with the elephants on my desk or my bowl of M&amp;Ms but new additions are fair game unless I specify."

"Ah, what's that about?"

She shook her head before she explained, "It's a silly game Esposito and I made up when we were started working homicide together. We would hide something of the other person's and see how long it took for them to notice it was missing. Each day you didn't notice the item was missing cost you a dollar and if you realized an item was missing the same day it was taken, the taker owed you a soda."

He laughed and opened the passenger door. "That sounds like a fun game."

Beckett insisted on getting his suitcase out of the car for him so he wouldn't have to struggle in lifting it. Then she insisted on taking the luggage up to the loft for him.

"You shouldn't have to carry my stuff Beckett. I could just have the doorman take it up after me."

"It's no big deal Castle, the luggage even has wheels so it's not like I'm using all my strength here."

Castle gave up on trying to talk her out of it, it seemed like the noble thing to do since the elevator was already stopping at his floor.

They made their way to his loft and he began to unlock the door. "Do you want to come in for a coffee or would you rather just get home?"

Beckett knew he was just trying to be hospitable. Knowing him, she could tell by the look on his face that he was in pain and would rather just go lay down after saying hi to his daughter and mother. "Can we take a rain check on the coffee? I'm pretty beat from the flight and I'm sure you are too."

"Yeah I guess you're right, I am pretty tired. Until tomorrow Beckett."

Beckett reached up to kiss Castle thoroughly. Once they broke apart and she was headed towards the elevator, she turned to look over her shoulder back at him and replied, "See you later Castle."

He waited until the elevator doors closed before making his way inside. Leaving his suitcase in the foyer, he went in search of his daughter. He took the stairs slowly, not wanting to bother his injuries. When he made it up the stairs, he made his way to Alexis's room and knocked on the door. "Hey Pumpkin."

"Dad, you're home," Alexis replied while opening the door.

"Yeah, just got back to the loft a couple minutes ago."

Alexis moved in to give him a hug but stopped, not wanting to upset the injuries she's sure he downplayed when they spoke earlier.

Picking up on her hesitance Castle reassured her, "It's okay Alexis, a hug won't break me. Just don't squeeze real hard."

Following his instructions, she leaned in and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're okay dad. How's Detective Beckett been holding up with everything?"

As they broke away from their hug Castle answered, "She'll be just fine. I think catching the guy who killed Royce has actually helped her get some closure."

"That's good then. So, now that you and Detective Beckett are on better terms, are you going to return to the precinct?"

Castle sighed before responding. "I'm not sure yet Pumpkin. I'm glad Becket and I seem to be on the same page now but if I decide to go back I don't want things to be like before. I think it would be best for now if I waited to return. I mean, I'll probably have to stop in to the precinct sometime soon, but that's really because I left one of my notebooks in Beckett's desk."

"I think that's sensible," Alexis agreed.

"I think so your grandma around here tonight?"

Alexis shook her head no before explaining, "No, she said something about going out with some people from the theater and to not wait up."

"Alright, sounds like your grandmother. Thanks for keeping an eye on her when I was gone."

Alexis giggled, "Come on dad she's not that bad."

Castle smiled and agreed, "I know Pumpkin"

Castle said goodnight to his daughter and made his way downstairs to put everything in his suitcase away and to get some much needed sleep.

* * *

Reviews are encouraged.

Thanks guest for pointing that out. Fixed. :)

MB


End file.
